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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don't understand all the anxiety about SWs

184 replies

Loveweekends10 · 28/10/2012 03:28

I see so many threads on here where people are anxious about social workers. I really don't get it. I can honestly say that before I came on mumsnet I never gave them a second thought.
Is this anxiety whipped up by the media? Is it low confidence in some parents that they don't think they are dong a good enough job with their kids?
I'm also shocked about the amount of people that say they fell out with someone and that person then rang social services to get at them.

OP posts:

seeker · 28/10/2012 08:03

Ok. Give me some proper, hard evidence that families have had children removed A) when there was absolutely no warning or any cause for concern and B) without due process.

And it happened to a friend/I read it on the forced adoption website/it was in Eastenders/ it was in the Sun don't count as evidence.

mutny · 28/10/2012 08:05

I get especially anxious when I read stories about families who claim they've had children removed on flimsy grounds

I am yet to see proof that this has ever been true. I have seen he who is not to be named, quote cases where the child has been removed for no reason.bexcept when you do some independent research it turns out to be very good reason.

There was a poster on here a few moths ago claiming her sw was trying to take her child for no reason and kept posti.gnall the SS paperwork on here. It included her dds name, dob age, address, school etc. do all the Sw details and her partners as well as her own. The poster kept posting it over and over (mn kept deleting it) and could not understand that she was putting her child in potential danger By giving randoms on the internet this information.

She had no clue and/or didn't care. And honestly if a parent acts like that then I can see why SS are concerned. She didn't care about privacy or saftey. She wanted to get one over on the SW. I think it even included the SW car details and registration. Again it was clear why SS were involved but the OP wouldn't admit it.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:06

If you are the sort of parent who thinks that you have rights and not responsibilities then you will have problems- most parents understand they have responsibilities. If SS started wasting their time over me I would be asking serious questions about their priorities- especially when they are over stretched and would be taking resources away from vulnerable children.

Mosman · 28/10/2012 08:07

Well seeker thank god it has never happened to me but even if I said it had you wouldn't believe me because it suits your view point.
I also know of cases where they should have been involved a lot earlier and weren't which is equally as horrendous.
The whole nothing to hide nothing to fear that so many hold dear is naive

DontLikeChocolate · 28/10/2012 08:07

No social worker surely wants to have to remove a child without good reason.

It depends what you mean by good reason. How about:

Saving face?

Impressing your superior?

Courting favour with a non-resident parent?

Revenge at the parent for reporting you?

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:08

I still can't see any evidence of why I should worry if my DCs were younger.

DontLikeChocolate · 28/10/2012 08:09

exoticfruits, I honestly would not worry. These cases are - I believe - extremely rare.

mutny · 28/10/2012 08:10

They reported the child had been kidnapped

That is not kidnapping unless the mother does not have pr. A social worker can not meet someone at the airport and remove their child. The police have to be present and she would slow have been arrested for kidnapping. Was she?

Mosman · 28/10/2012 08:11

As long as you don't fall out with anyone exotic fruits or something that the school/hospital/HV/neighbor doesnt approve of then I guess you're fine.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:11

I have been told that I am naive on a number of threads now and I can safely say that it has never got me into trouble. Maybe it is a help, I naively think that I will never have contact with SS and I haven't. I also naively think that I would sort it within 5 mins - which I probably would.

Badvoc · 28/10/2012 08:12

Why?
The countless cases of failure/negligence.
Victoria climbed and many many others.
Children starved to death by their parents.
Baby p.
Are they enough of a reason?

Mosman · 28/10/2012 08:13

The police were present, she did have PR and yes she was arrested when she went to the police station the next day. All cleared up within 24 hours but the lasting damage has been awful.

DontLikeChocolate · 28/10/2012 08:13

I also naively think that I would sort it within 5 mins - which I probably would.

Now you really are being naive. Some of these cases take a year to even get to court.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:14

I only argue on MN - in RL I aim to get on with everyone! If I have to disagree with a school, hospital etc I do it in a polite, reasonable and friendly manner. I still can't see it being an issue.

TheBigJessie · 28/10/2012 08:15

Badvoc that post seems more like a reason not to worry about social services...

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:15

It would never get to court because 5 mins is all it would take to show them they were wasting time and resources!

mutny · 28/10/2012 08:15

The police were present, she did have PR and yes she was arrested when she went to the police station the next day
Removing child from the country illegally ( which is what was claimed) would have erupted in immediate arrest

Sorry but you don't have the full story.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:17

SS need to have time to deal with the cases that Badvoc mentions- which is why I would raise a fuss if they got involved with me and trivialities..

seeker · 28/10/2012 08:18

"Well seeker thank god it has never happened to me but even if I said it had you wouldn't believe me because it suits your view point."

I would believe you if you had some evidence.

The thing is, my viewpoint is supported by the facts. Yours isn't. And there are vulnerable and anxious people on this thread, and you are duelling their fears.

*No social worker surely wants to have to remove a child without good reason.

It depends what you mean by good reason. How about:

Saving face?
Impressing your superior?
Courting favour with a non-resident parent?
Revenge at the parent for reporting you?*

Prove that any of these things have happened. Just prove it, before you go round terrifying vulnerable people.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:21

Social workers are professionals- they shouldn't be in the job if they are doing any of that list! I would be reporting them for unprofessional conduct.

Mosman · 28/10/2012 08:22

She was told if she allowed the child to be returned to the grandparents and reported to the police station the next morning she could go home with her partner. She did return with the birth certificate, child benefit details and whilst was arrested and questioned was immediately released.
The point is a) the child was removed to FC when she had been told he was going to her parents b) the police quite clearly didn't think there was a problem otherwise as you say she'd have been taken into custody immediately. Social worker wasn't interested. Their way or no way.

WofflingOn · 28/10/2012 08:23

I find the cognitive dissonance over SW on MN very odd.
One one hand you have the fear and paranoia of so many over the child-snatchers, and the 'We believe you' responses to any thread posted with only one POV about a child/SW situation.
On the other hand we have posters concerned about children in situations that are perceived as dangerous, neglectful or abusive, and the response is 'ohh yes, phone SS'
It is a job, like teaching, open to challenges and bound by rules and due process. There are often sensitive details that a poster, a newspaper report or an observer omits for whatever reasons. And yes, many abusive and neglectful adults wilfully refuse to see that the situation is of their creation and that their children were being protected because they chose not to.
SW are bound by the law, very tightly.

AllThreeWays · 28/10/2012 08:23

It happened to me.
As stated above.
And if social services have what they believe to be a genuine concern they WILL take a child and then seek a court order. I had a child in my care that had been removed and it took 6 months before it went to court and she was then returned to her mother.

Also yes a court is the one that has the power to remove children, they go on reports and recommendations from the social worker...

Prior to my foster son being removed a social worker had written a report saying the 50/50 care should continue as all was fine. Her manager told her to dig further as they wanted to remove him based on their opinions of 50/50 care.
I got to read the final report, it was a work of fiction, with quotes taken out of context, other things said not recorded, and reports from people who did not know me or who had met me in one situation (for example, the school principal called me a disciplinarian and cold. The one interaction she had had with me was when I had to pick up my foster son from school in the middle of the day and he had attacked another child (he has special needs)).
there was a thin enough veil of truth to make it believable, but I would have needed a solicitor and a lot of money to fight it.
My case did not go to court as SS were already his legal guardians, but even if it had, that report would have created the same outcome, and it has been extremely detrimental to my foster son who is now medicated and in counselling

exoticfruits · 28/10/2012 08:23

If your own parents are going to report you then they have to take notice. It was a dysfunctional relationship.

DontLikeChocolate · 28/10/2012 08:23

OK exoticfruits, let me explain this for you. Your child has an accident at home for which you cannot give a reasonable explanation. Or, more likely, your explanation is not believed at the hospital. Social Services are called. They take objection to your "polite, reasonable'" tone, as they much prefer to deal with people they can push around, like drug addicts and people with a low IQ. So they say that they need to accommodate your child until they can find out what caused the injury. They need you to agree to this, otherwise you will be considered 'obstructive' and it will not look good. So, you agree to a short-term foster placement, expecting to see your child in a couple of days. Unfortunately, you were not to know that nothing can happen until the case gets to court, which could take a year. In the meantime, it is possible that within a few days of the accident, a police investigation will prove (by forensic tests) that the accident happened exactly as you said. So would Social Services immediately return your children to you? Probably not.

And no, the press would not be interested.

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