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AIBU?

A bit dissapointed in my own brother?

70 replies

pamelat · 27/10/2012 23:33

my brother is lovely

He's thoughtful, Sensitive and a nice guy

His wife is due to give birth tomorrow to their first child

We met them tonight for a meal and he'd had 6 pints

Im quite shocked but wonder if I'm being self righteous

Dh didn't drink in that last week or so "just I'm case"

My brother was drunk. He couldn't speak properly. He definately couldn't drive

I love my brother and his pregnant wife was not concerned at all as she doesn't feel the baby will come tonight

They only live 20/25 mins from the hospital so am I being a prude? My dh is really annoyed at him so we left the meal early :-(

OP posts:

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silvermutha · 28/10/2012 02:49

Depending on the strength of his pints, he's drunk somewhere in the region of 13-17units. Average excretion of alcohol is one unit an hour....so still over the limit to drive even in the morning.
So long as your brother and his wife keep this in mind and don't risk driving then it's their choice. First baby likely to take a while, although they could need to go in more quickly for any number of reasons.
Personally though I'd be well annoyed if my partner was over the limit to drive me, or indeed too pissed or hungover to support me. It ain't like he's abstaining forever!
My recent second baby was 13 days late, my husband ensured he was able to carry out his responsibilities. So did my Mum/planned carer for my daughter during labour...although it did take me a few days to realise her concerned phone calls every evening had a slightly ulterior motive of seeing if she could have a glass of wine!

Loveweekends10 · 28/10/2012 07:25

Maybe he realises he won't get many more meals out and be able to drink like that for a while.

mutny · 28/10/2012 07:29

his pregnant wife was not concerned at all

^ theis means its none of you business and certainly not you husbands. Who cares if youw oils tolerate it? Your brother is not married to you.

You dh sounds like a prick. Sorry.

Alarielle · 28/10/2012 07:37

I don't see how this is any of your business at all. My DH had drinks leading up to my due dates but it didn't bother me in the slightest. Worst case scenario a taxi would have to be called. Your DH is very petty to leave the meal because of it.

Arithmeticulous · 28/10/2012 07:39

Your brother has never had to deal with a baby and a hangover. Those of us that have, cut down on the drink

Jenny70 · 28/10/2012 07:43

It wouldn't bother me at all if my husband had done this with a week to go, more concerned with being a sad sack the following day with a hangover....

If she had suddenly gone into labour they could always get a taxi together... and suffer him sitting up all night under the weather.

diddl · 28/10/2012 07:43

Well if brother was slurry & boring-what´s the point in staying?

But I don´t get the competitive upset/pissed off with each others families.

MikeLitorisBites · 28/10/2012 07:49

My dp went out and had a drink 6 days after my due date, the same day i had a sweep.

I didnt mind so nor should anyone else.

Your dh needs to mind his own business and realise people are allowed to behave in different ways without being judged for it.

Inertia · 28/10/2012 07:52

Surprised his wife was ok with it , I wouldn't have been. She's had 9 months of not getting drunk, doesn't seem to much to ask for him to lay off for a couple of weeks. Not really your business though, unless your brother intended to drive drunk. They might have had a back up plan involving SIL's family or s friend if the baby arrived that night - maybe they had agreed that your brother could have one final drinking session.

Sounds like your DH is out for dome kind of family criticism revenge.

Kalisi · 28/10/2012 07:54

YWDNBU.....if you were his wife. Other then that you can probably sit quietly in the corner with judgey pants on but don't really have a say in the matter.

MrsMelons · 28/10/2012 07:55

If it had been my DH getting drunk in the last week of my pregnancy I would be pretty cross - its a big deal IMO. DH got very drunk about 4-6 weeks before both boys were born then didn't drink after that (think it was a sub-concious thing of getting hammered one last time )

I wouldn't really get cross if someone else did it - I may have slated them once I got home for being inconsiderate but up to them really. Its quite rude of your DH as it really is none of his business, its barely yours TBO as they are grown ups.

I don't really think your brother is restored - if she had gone into labour not only would he not have been able to drive them there which probably is the most convenient he may have felt quite crap during the labour which is a bit unfair really.

Chandon · 28/10/2012 08:02

I would think less of DB for this, and even tell him off (in friendly yet stern sisterly way). i would have asked: Who will take your wife to hospital when she goes into labour during the next 12 or more hours when you are over the limit?

The idea of "sobering up quickly when needed" is tosh, you would still measure well over the limit and be in serious trouble with police when caught!

It is NOT a matter of mind-over-matter with drinking!!!

Anyway, my Dh drank as much as he liked at the time, as he was not going to be driving me to hospital anyway (he had no license at the time), and we walked. (yes we did. that sped up labour nicely by the way). what is their set up?

So, if he was never going to be driving to her to hospital anyway, yabu.
If he was, but thought he could do the alcoholic's "mind over matter" approach, yanbu!

ChaoticismyLife · 28/10/2012 08:40

My dp went out and had a drink 6 days after my due date, the same day i had a sweep.

I didnt mind so nor should anyone else.

Really?!?...who the hell are you to decide whether other's should mind or not.

OP if your SIL is okay with it and your DB isn't going to drive if she does go into labour in the 12 or so hours after he's finished drinking then really it's up to them what happens. Your DH is being childish to point score like that.

pamelat · 28/10/2012 09:02

He was her planned driver, but wouldn't have drov over the limit. He was adamant the baby wouldn't be coming yet, which fortunatel it didn't

She considered it a last blow out. For me the eve of my due date would be a bit late for that.

But as many of you have said, that's me ...

OP posts:

MikeLitorisBites · 28/10/2012 09:41

chaotic I actually meant no one should mind what my dp does, not all dps in general. As in, the pg woman gets to dexide if she minds what her partner does. Sorry I should have been clearer.

LaLaGabby · 28/10/2012 09:51

Your DH sounds extremely self-righteous, the sort of person who likes to let everyone know what a 'sacrifice' he makes to look after his pregnant wife.

fedupofnamechanging · 28/10/2012 11:02

I think it was silly to drink so much when it was possible that his wife would need him to be sober.

But I think your husband's behaviour was far worse - priggish and superior and actually very rude. I can't stand pettiness in people or spite and it seems that he was looking for a reason to get back at you, for criticising his mother. That's mean spirited and suggests a nasty streak that would make me feel very uncomfortable if my husband did this.

TheBigJessie · 28/10/2012 11:08

Well, it sounds like a decision they both took together. Not a decision I would have taken, but there's been no update to say that the baby arrived the next morning, so they've been proven right, so to speak!

differentnameforthis · 28/10/2012 11:09

Is your SIL in labour today? It not, this thread is actually pointless.

pamelat · 31/10/2012 20:31

The baby was born Sunday mid morning

They had a lucky escape.

Very quick but trouble free.

Seems irrelevant now baby is here but he did come on the due morning and very quickly!!

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