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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell nursery, NO nail varnish?

100 replies

Flojo1979 · 26/10/2012 21:02

Nursery asked if I was happy to let them paint my DDs nails as one of the other girls had hers done and keeps bringing in bottles and DD had pestered them to have hers done.
I thanked them for checking with me first and told them no, I didn't want my 3 yr old to have her nails painted.
AIBU or a spoil sport? Or do u agree that its ridiculous for 3 year olds to do this?
I don't wear nail varnish myself, and the only makeup I wear is tinted moisuriser. So bright pink nails on a baby girl seems madness.

OP posts:
crackcrackcrak · 27/10/2012 07:14

Exactly - it's the childcare setting aspect that really bothers me. IMO the nursery should have tackled this the first time this other kid brought it in and asked the mum to to send it again.
I would be astonished if dd's nursery owner ever allowed any kind of make up/toxic chemical near the kids!
Dd has watched me paint my nails with passing interest - I tell her she can join in when she's a grown up lady and she accepts it but she's never seen polish in another kid so she doesn't question me. Hopefully this will last a few years yet!

fuzzypicklehead · 27/10/2012 07:39

Blush my girls used to have "girly Thursday" at the CM's (because she only had girls that day) and all come out with their nails in rainbow colours and funky hairdo's after playing beauty parlour.

I thought it was sweet.

DunderMifflin · 27/10/2012 07:41

Doesn't it depend if it is billed as beautifying or fun?

I much prefer my kids to wear bright, happy colours rather than anything that looks subtle or 'natural' - its about dressing up not prettifying.

Fairylea · 27/10/2012 07:45

I think people are really over thinking this.

It's not about making little girls into adults. Or making them "sexy" or anything of the sort. If people think that then to be honest I think that says more about their own fears than anything else. Nail polish to a 3 year old is about bright colours, sparkles and fun. Dressing up for fun. That's it. Nothing else.

I used to enjoy wearing my mums bra over the top of my clothes when I was 4 or 5 wandering around the house because I wanted to be like dolly parton (god knows why).

Also I bite my nails and have always painted them and I'm still here and have never been poisoned.

DunderMifflin · 27/10/2012 07:47

I'm with Fairylea

girlsyearapart · 27/10/2012 07:48

Yanbu- very odd thing to do at a nursery IMO.
I would have more expected them to tell the other parent to leave the nail polish at home than to ask everyone else to do it too!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 27/10/2012 08:04

Considering nail polish can contain such delightful compounds such as toluene, formaldehyde, nitrocellulose, transition metal compounds and aluminium powder, I think that the OP is not being ridiculous or needs to chill out.

There are safer, water based alternatives and if the staff are using these, I would be less bothered. But if it is a standard nail polish aimed at adults then no way. Let's face a 3 year old will be less about the chipping and more about the chewing and I'd be worried about what they were ingesting! Considering that they will be getting exposure to many of these toxic and carcinogenic substances from other unknown or unavoidable sources, I prefer to reduce the risk of exposure by eliminating as many known sources as possible, and for me nail polish is on that list.

TrudiRed · 27/10/2012 08:08

I agree that its an odd thing to do at nursery but generally speaking I don't have a problem with nail varnish. To me its no different in terms of 'grooming' than plaiting a girls hair or letting a little boy use hair gel to be like daddy. I agree with Fairylea that there is nothing sexual in it at all - certainly I don't paint my nails to make them sexy - especially toenails - nothing in the world could make toes sexy to my dh!! Its all about dressing up for fun and it can be taken off just the same as face paint or dress up clothes. But as I said I wouldn't expect it to be at nursery. Like others I would expect them to ask the other parent to keep it at home. Having said all this I still totally agree that yanbu to say no if that is what you believe is the right thing to do.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 27/10/2012 08:10

Well I've learnt something new. What else is on that list?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 27/10/2012 08:15

Ah but trudi I don't plait my DD hair (its usually scrapped in to a ponytail for practical reasons, every now and again I put pig tails in, because she wants to be like one of her friends) and I'd never dream of putting hair gel in my 7 yr old DS hair. He should be playing on the floor, getting his knees dirty not paying attention to his appearance.

OP posts:
mumto2andnomore · 27/10/2012 08:23

I wouldn't mind at all my 13 year old paints my friends 4 year olds nails sometimes and she loves it !

legoballoon · 27/10/2012 08:26

YANBU. Horrible to see small girls learning how to be women at such an early age. Enough marketing and pressure on pre-teens IMHO.

pinkyp · 27/10/2012 08:28

As a one off every now & then I don't see any harm. If it was regular it's a bit too much IMO

greenbananas · 27/10/2012 08:49

It's good that they checked, and of course you have a perfect right to say no.

However - I would probably have let her do it. Especially if it was a 'silly' colour (blue, bright shocking pink) and not seen as an encouragement for her to become adult before her time.

I painted my DS's nails bright salmon pink at his request, and FIL was horrified. I also allow DS to go shopping wearing mismatching clothes that he has chosen, superhero costumes, silly hats etc. and am always happy about the number of people who seem to think it is cute (mostly older ladies who have perhaps realised in a lifetime's experience that this sort of thing, while it may look ridiculous in adult eyes, makes children happy at very little cost).

NewNames · 27/10/2012 08:52

I just hate the idea of a 'girlie Thursday'. The boys leave, and what's the first thing we do? Our nails and hair!

greenbananas · 27/10/2012 09:01

mmm, I'm not very keen on the idea of 'girly Thursday' either. Being obsessed with hair and nails is not a necessary part of being female. Boys like to dress up and paint their nails silly colours as well.

goingcuckoo · 27/10/2012 09:09

Eh? What's nursery doing letting kids bring bottles of nail varnish in? Confused
They're supposed to be at nursery playing and learning, not applying nail varnish, small people's school here nobody brought anything like that in, it was just never thought of and seems a bit strange!
What next? Is somebody allowed to bring their fake tan in next week, with false eyelashes and their mum's make up bag?!

MummyPig24 · 27/10/2012 09:20

Yabu. I don't see the problem. Dd (2) asks foe her nails to be painted sometimes. It wears off in a few days what with the baths, handwashing and water play she dows. Ds has also had his nails painted on request. It's harmless fun IMO.

diddlediddledumpling · 27/10/2012 10:43

Surely girls are learning to be women all the time, copying their m

FunnysInLaJardin · 27/10/2012 10:45

I want a girl specifically so that I can paint her nails. You can't do that to a boy without their father complaining. So just for that YABU

saintlyjimjams · 27/10/2012 10:47

I never wear nail varnish, but i'd let her. I'd have let my sons do it as well if they had wanted to.

diddlediddledumpling · 27/10/2012 10:50

Surely girls are learning to be women all the time, copying their mothers' behaviour? I am kind of amazed that some people are so horrified about nail polish, if it was so very dangerous you wouldn't be able to buy it in Superdrug. I was chatting to an acquaintance recently, a man in his 60s who's first grandchild is 1yo. He was reflecting that he wished he hadn't been so strict with his own children, that he wished he'd let them just be kids and do the fun, harmless stuff that they wanted to do buf he said no because he was busy/stressed/overly worried about doing things right . This thread has made me think of that conversation.

bedmonster · 27/10/2012 11:06

Think its odd to be on offer in nursery, very surprised its been allowed at all but in a home environment I would and have painted their nails at a similar age.
They like each nail painted a different colour (classy) and then a glitter transfer on top. Not an issue here, I can't be bothered getting worked up over something so trivial tbh.

seekingpeaceandquiet · 27/10/2012 12:06

Im very surprised that a nursery allows the girl to bring it in.
A friend of mine had her dd's brand new shoes ruined in school after another girl brought nail polish into school and it went over them.

I have painted dd's (3) nails a few times when I've done mine though and she loves being like mummy and sees it as a nice treat (for example we did it for her b'day) and does not see it as an everyday must have.

HRH008 · 27/10/2012 12:13

To be honest, I see no difference in them coming home covered in mud, paint or nail varnish. My kids (aged 3 and 5) regularly come home from Kindergarten (we live in Germany) with faces painted, biro pictures on their hands, paint on their fingernails for "nail varnish" etc. All because they have been right there in the middle of doing something interesting with their friends or teachers.

Then they go in the bath.

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