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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sell my engagement ring?

39 replies

ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:09

Or is not selling it being unreasonable?!

I have a ring that was given to me the first time I got engaged 15 years ago. (We broke up, and he wanted me to keep the ring.) I'm quite attached to it as I'm still good friends with my ex and it's the only ring I've got! (DH never got me a proper one.)

We're a bit skint at the moment and I'm wondering if I should sell it if I can get about £100. DH isn't overjoyed about it still being in the house but I don't want to just give it away, and I'm not sure if getting rid of it is the right thing to do anyway? It's part of my history and I wondered if it should go in a box of relics for the great grandchildren to have a rummage through. Grin

And if I was to sell it - how would I go about it? I don't like the look of those bung yer gold in an envelope and we'll rip you off send you a tenner businesses...

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 24/10/2012 14:13

When my Granny died and we were sorting her stuff out, the meaningful stuff was the stuff that went on between her and my Grandad. There WERE 'love letters' (naice polite ones speaking of courtship) which were wonderful, but I think if we'd come across a ring, an engagement ring from another man, much as we'd have realised she was a person with her own life story (we already knew) we'd have also wondered why, when they were on their last bean and struggling, why she didn't sell it and make life a little easier/nicer/sparkly for her and her husband.

YANBU to sell it.

YANBU to keep it.

Whatever you decide to do with it, do not do it for anyone else but yourself.

Idocrazythings · 24/10/2012 14:15

I think you should keep it.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 24/10/2012 14:17

I have no idea how you would sell it, but I'm ridiculously sentimental so I wouldn't sell it.

I have a ring (just a present, not an engagement ring) from an ex, and it just sits in my jewellery box. I have rings and other jewellery from the ex who is my dcs Dad, and I would never even consider selling it. It's nice for the dc to know there are momentos from the loving relationship that they came from.

aldiwhore · 24/10/2012 14:20

I think, as an ex hoarder and as someone who once lost EVERYTHING, I've come to the conclusion that stuff is just stuff.

I have got a notebook (a lovely one) where I have written an itinery of everything I lost (that I can remember... and it's taken 14 years so far!) and why I miss it. Now as long as I don't lose that, when I'm gone, people will know my story without arguing over the value.

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:21

Hmmm. We're not at the point where if I don't sell we don't eat, or anything like that.

I'm a terrible hoarder and very sentimental. (And clearly very indecisive!) I thought I might have been BU to still have it when DH chucks a wobbler each time he sees it.

I think the reason I still have it is I don't think I'd get much for it (it's a very pretty antique art deco style ring) and I don't want to just let it go for the sake of it. Especially when I've carried it around with me this far...

(There isn't anything dodgy going on with the ex, by the way! He was the first really big love of my life and I look back on those times with fond memories, but I'm not hankering back after it, IYSWIM)

OP posts:
typicalvirgo · 24/10/2012 14:21

I am the total opposite and would sell it like a shot. I cant think of anything worse than having something like this, but I see that you are still friendly with your ex, something again which I am not.

Why not take it into a local jewellers and see what they would offer you... then make up your mind.

Xroads · 24/10/2012 14:24

I think sell it.

I've sold my ex engagement ring got about £40 for it but I'm not friends with my ex he was an abusive bastard.

My mum sold the rings she had from being married to my dad, she was keeping them for me and my sister to wear but they didn't fit and were hideous so she asked if we minded her selling them, said no they are yours to do what you want with so she sold them and gave us the money, got about £70 each and she said we had to spend it on something we could remember so I got a rocking chair for my art studio beause I had always wanted one and a bathroom cabinet because I needed one.

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:25

It looks a bit like this

OP posts:
LadyEvilBeagle · 24/10/2012 14:25

I tried to sell mine after my divorce, it was bought for £400, (two sapphires and a diamond) but the most I got offered was about £40.
I still have it, I'll leave it to my son I think.

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:28

This is the thing. The second time I broke up with a fiancée the ring he gave me was bought for £1500 and I got £500 when I sold it. (I had no qualms about selling that as he basically robbed me and left me in all kinds of shit.)

OP posts:
CotedePablo · 24/10/2012 14:29

That ring's gorgeous! If I had some spare cash I'd make you an offer, but am a bit in the skint side myself at the moment.

If your DH is a bit unhappy about it being about, I think I'd sell it. But it really is up to you.

typicalvirgo · 24/10/2012 14:32

Do you wear it ?

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:35

I don't wear it, which is a shame, as it is lovely! Again though, I think DH would go ape, and probably fair enough. It seems sad for it to be shoved away in a box, but then it seems sad to get rid of it. Sad

OP posts:
Littlemissimpatient · 24/10/2012 14:38

I would sell it.
Put the money to good use

AdoraBell · 24/10/2012 14:38

Why does DH chuck a wobbler over seeing the ring? It doesn't sound like you want to sell it, so I would say don't sell it.

shorttermnamechange · 24/10/2012 14:39

I'd keep it. If you are sentimentality attached to it then I think you may regret getting rid of it. I wouldn't wear it though, out of consideration for dh.

When you have some more money, I think your dh should buy you a ring. He might feel a bit better about you keeping this one if he has also bought you one.

It is part of your past and I'm not sure you should erase evidence of it on account of your dh objecting.

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 14:49

I think it's partly jealousy and partly maybe he feels crap because he's never bought me one himself? I'm guessing...

OP posts:
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 24/10/2012 14:55

I'd sell it. I'd be a bit miffed if dh kept an engagement ring from a past relationship tbh Confused

aldiwhore · 24/10/2012 15:01

Pretty! Should be worn. BUT there's no guaruntee that it ever will be if you sell it either.

I'd look for a suitable buyer/dealer/purveyor of retro items. Don't just 'sell' it, sell it well, give it a good home.

TheCatIsEatingIt · 24/10/2012 15:02

I'd keep it. In fact I have kept mine, although it's silver and CZ so worth nothing in £ terms, and priceless in sentimental terms. It lives in my jewellery box - I don't think DH has ever seen it.

AdoraBell · 24/10/2012 15:05

I still don't think YABU to keep it, wearing it woud be pushing it, but you're not doing that. My OH has things wife first wife bought, I have no problem with that.

FredFredGeorge · 24/10/2012 15:20

I think you should keep it, if you don't genuinely need the money. You write as if it means a lot to you. Your DH is BVU to make you feel bad about having it.

It doesn't take up much space, you don't need the money, keep it.

Original poster
ThatBintAgain · 24/10/2012 15:24

Thanks for all the advice - it does seem to be a general consensus! I probably will just keep it, unless someone was going to offer me an extraordinary amount of money for it, which lets face it, isn't going to happen!

OP posts:
ClippedPhoenix · 24/10/2012 15:26

Tell your DH maybe you'd be more inclined to want to sell it if DH got you one to replace it.

hugoagogo · 24/10/2012 15:32

I had an old engagement ring, I sold it.

In the end even though it was really pretty and I was fond of it, I could never wear it, I couldn't pass it on to my daughter-so I might as well have the cash.

I think dh was glad and I now have a lovely eternity ring which I wear all the time.