to sell my engagement ring?

[ThatBintAgain]

Or is not selling it being unreasonable?!

I have a ring that was given to me the first time I got engaged 15 years ago. (We broke up, and he wanted me to keep the ring.) I'm quite attached to it as I'm still good friends with my ex and it's the only ring I've got! (DH never got me a proper one.)

We're a bit skint at the moment and I'm wondering if I should sell it if I can get about £100. DH isn't overjoyed about it still being in the house but I don't want to just give it away, and I'm not sure if getting rid of it is the right thing to do anyway? It's part of my history and I wondered if it should go in a box of relics for the great grandchildren to have a rummage through.

And if I was to sell it - how would I go about it? I don't like the look of those bung yer gold in an envelope and we'll rip you off send you a tenner businesses...

Any thoughts?

[FinallyMrsFC]

Sell it. Both DH and I were married before, we took in our wedding bands and my engagement ring, had the platinum melted down into two new bands, and the diamond paid for the labour.

Some people would call this bad luck, but I we couldn't have afforded two new platinum bands otherwise, and I liked how it made two wrong decisions into a right one.

[susiedaisy]

I'd sell it, I have sold both my engagement and wedding ring after my divorce and bought myself another piece of jewellery, an engagement/wedding ring represents feelings linked with a specific person if you aren't with them and the feelings aren't there then the ring becomes rather pointless and superfluous IMO but I'm also not a hoarder and am a frequent visitor to our local tip!

[ThatBintAgain]

I do understand him not being over the moon about it, like others have said it is quite symbolic. And its not him that's prompted me wondering this, to be fair, I just wonder if I'm being silly keeping it if I could put the money towards a break away with DH it something.

I highly doubt I'd get anything like a decent amount to make it worth it though, although I might do some investigating out of interest...

[LittleMissFlustered]

Keep it. You husband needs to grow up and realise that it's just a piece of jewellery that you like.

[AnnoyingOrange]

An engagement ring has huge symbolic meaning though. I can understand why a dh wouldn't be enthralled at his wife keeping such a significant memento of an ex. And I don't think it makes him unreasonably jealous

[TrudiRed]

Oh and I wouldn't be impressed if DH kept jewellery from an ex - although like pp I do have a favourite pic of him that a significant other took! There is no right or wrong with all of this is there.

[TrudiRed]

I sold my old wedding ring and engagement ring. I didn't want them. DH didn't particularly want me to have them although he never asked me to get rid of them. I certainly wouldn't be passing on to my children (with DH not with ex). Actually now I come to think of it I gave them away as the jeweller friend I gave them too never actually paid me! I was more attached to my first wedding dress I think which I gave away to charity when my dh and I moved in together. I can remember my past without having to have physical reminders of it that may upset my dh or dc. Having said that I do still have the photos in the loft somewhere - but I find it very hard to get rid of photos for some reason. If I needed the cash I would definitely sell. It doesn't change the past but it could help the present.

[Startailoforangeandgold]

I'd be asking myself why I was married to a DH who was so insecure and jealous of my past?

My favourite picture of DH, which lives on the bookcase, has him looking so happy because it was taken by his ex.
The first girl he ever loved. I'm just jolly glad she dumped him.

[QuickLookBusy]

When I broke up with my first fiancé, I handed back the ring fully expecting him to say "oh no, I couldn't possibly take it, you have it"

He sodding took it didn't he! I often wonder what he did with it. It was blooming expensive and I had already planned what I was going to spend the money on.

I think that ring is really pretty OP and can understand why you don't want to sell it. But I would, when I'd thought of something really nice to do with the money.

[Ithinkitsjustme]

I think I'd keep it unless I was desperate for the money and I could get a reasonable amount for it. If you do decide to sell it, don't stick it in an envelope but take it into several different jewellers to see what they would offer you. Obviously it's up to you, but I think your DH is probably more upset that you are still close to this ex than about your keeping a ring.

[AnnoyingOrange]

I would sell it in consideration of your dh's feelings

[GhostShip]

I sold mine :)

[SoleSource]

Sell it. :)

[Polyethyl]

I'd sell it. You don't wear it. You could use the money to buy something you would wear. It's an attractive ring, so if you find the right buyer you should get a reasonable price. And if selling it would cheer up your husband then that's an added bonus.

[hugoagogo]

I had an old engagement ring, I sold it.

In the end even though it was really pretty and I was fond of it, I could never wear it, I couldn't pass it on to my daughter-so I might as well have the cash.

I think dh was glad and I now have a lovely eternity ring which I wear all the time.

[ClippedPhoenix]

Tell your DH maybe you'd be more inclined to want to sell it if DH got you one to replace it.

[ThatBintAgain]

Thanks for all the advice - it does seem to be a general consensus! I probably will just keep it, unless someone was going to offer me an extraordinary amount of money for it, which lets face it, isn't going to happen!

[FredFredGeorge]

I think you should keep it, if you don't genuinely need the money. You write as if it means a lot to you. Your DH is BVU to make you feel bad about having it.

It doesn't take up much space, you don't need the money, keep it.

[AdoraBell]

I still don't think YABU to keep it, wearing it woud be pushing it, but you're not doing that. My OH has things wife first wife bought, I have no problem with that.

[TheCatIsEatingIt]

I'd keep it. In fact I have kept mine, although it's silver and CZ so worth nothing in £ terms, and priceless in sentimental terms. It lives in my jewellery box - I don't think DH has ever seen it.

[aldiwhore]

Pretty! Should be worn. BUT there's no guaruntee that it ever will be if you sell it either.

I'd look for a suitable buyer/dealer/purveyor of retro items. Don't just 'sell' it, sell it well, give it a good home.

[FluffyJawsOfDoom]

I'd sell it. I'd be a bit miffed if dh kept an engagement ring from a past relationship tbh

[ThatBintAgain]

I think it's partly jealousy and partly maybe he feels crap because he's never bought me one himself? I'm guessing...

[shorttermnamechange]

I'd keep it. If you are sentimentality attached to it then I think you may regret getting rid of it. I wouldn't wear it though, out of consideration for dh.

When you have some more money, I think your dh should buy you a ring. He might feel a bit better about you keeping this one if he has also bought you one.

It is part of your past and I'm not sure you should erase evidence of it on account of your dh objecting.

[AdoraBell]

Why does DH chuck a wobbler over seeing the ring? It doesn't sound like you want to sell it, so I would say don't sell it.