To ask how often your children see their grandparents?

[VIX1980]

my son is only 4 months and already im finding my inlaws really suffocating, wanting to visit constantly, expecting us to go around there all the time etc. they live half an hour away and mil expects me to walk ds all the way there few days a week, this hasnt happened yet as ive said no quite a few times.

but then if i dont go they just turn up unannounced (especially annoying if ive had a rough night and decided to have a nap while ds sleeps), ive started dreading the weekends because i know as soon as they wake on saturday at 11 the phone will go asking can they see us. they do have 2 other children but my dp is the oldest and ds is there only grandchild.

my own mum on the other hand i take him now and again to see her or she will come here, but she respects our right to privacy and a bit of family time, i think if she had her way mil would of moved in with us by now. Tell me this isnt normal that we should have to see them every single weekend, dp doesnt mind but there his parents and is used to them, i just find them too suffocating and when ive said something im the bad person for wanting a bit of a life at the weekend instead of them coming here or us going there and watching fil pick things out his teeth while watching a western film cos god forbid he turns it off and actually speaks to us.

my nan used to mind me after school so i saw her that way so i dont know if this is normal or too much time really?

I said no to the 1 day a week thing as i didnt feel it was fair to my parents never to be able to see ds on say a saturday or whichever day we decided on him going there.

And thats the other thing, i work from home mon-fri, oh works full time with usual overtime being saturday morning, so the only real time when we are a family is the saturday afternoon although oh is usually tired so dont do much then and the sunday, which is when they like to visit. if it was every other weekend and maybe they could come round 1 afternoon for an hour or 2 i could cope, but my parents arent like that, they let us get on with our own lives, it feels suffocating because in laws have no other hobbies other than going to the pub and coming here. I even tried to introduce them to the local college, mil seemed interested but that was 3 years ago and she'd rather stay at home and drink (another reason why i dont respect them).

If my ILs lived the same distance away as yours they two would need telling to back off (as my SIL who lives near them would attest). They would definitely be round every couple of days come what may -but eh would be very helpful indeed round the house and with DC when there -are your ILs helpful (obviously your FIL not so much with the Westerns)?

As it is my ILs live 3 hours away and come and stay for one weekend a month or so. My own folks are 1 hour away and maybe see us every 4-6 weeks for a whole day or weekend. They are busier, have more going on, and are less hands on and confident with the kids then they ILs, even thought they dote on them.

Both DC utterly adore all 4 grandparents and no doubt would love or see them more. I'm pretty happy as it is (although life would be considerably easier eg Childcare for evening meetings if they were nearer!).

i guess there is no normal.

My children see my mum everyday, and inlaws 4/5 days out of the 7. I love it this way, as I only got to see my gran every 2-3 months when i was a child, and I dont think we were as close as my inlaws and mum are to my children, especially as they grow up.