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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lie to the PiLs about where I am tomorrow?

51 replies

ViviPru · 22/10/2012 17:27

I work from home. I sell a weekday to a client, 8.30-6 and work with them remotely but closely, so constant emails back and forth, phonecalls etc. The significance of this is that even though I am self-employed and work remotely, I can't just pick and choose when I work. DP's working set-up is quite similar, but he is less answerable to his clients on an hour-by hour basis.

The PiLs have been trying to arrange a weekend to visit us, but the one date they suggested was the only date we have had a prior engagement in the diary for months which cannot be rearranged. All of the other dates we offered (about 5 options) between now and Christmas are inconvenient for them. So this weekend, they arranged with DP that they will visit tomorrow (Tuesday) as they are 'in the area' - (we're actually an hours' detour from where they are but closer than usual as they live a good 200 miles away) He explained that we are both working, (they are semi-aware of the nature of our work, but they've never really listened when we've tried to explain) but they are still insisting on coming.

They're quite hard work, think Victor Meldrew and Hyacinth Bouquet, and require hosting (unlike my parents who just help themselves to drinks, initiate chit chat and generally blend in) I'm happy to host them when I have time at the weekend, but it will be extremely difficult on a working day. Particularly at the moment as we have an 11wk old puppy who is manageable, but a handful. They have never been particularly enamoured/fond of our dogs.

DP can manage his parents on his own, and has said I only need pop in from my office and say hello, and then I can get back to work, but I think this is totally unrealistic. Not only would it be awkward making my excuses and getting back to work, I think they would find it a bit odd too. I also worry about the puppy, she is at that bitey, defiant stage and DP struggles to multitask, I worry he won't be able to engage them in chit chat, make them drinks and keep the puppy from destroying MiL's handbag without a bit of support. I imagine they'll be here a good few hours at least.

Now every other Tuesday I work in-house for a client (i.e. in the client's office). DP told his parents he wasn't sure if that was the case this week or not (he genuinely wasn't sure) but in actual fact it is not the case. I have the perfect get-out clause though, I could go and work at my Mum's house, and we could tell his parents I'm at my clients. I would take the puppy with me as usually my Mum does have the puppy when I'm working in-house so DP can get on with his work uninterrupted, so nothing out of the ordinary there...

God that's all a bit long winded, sorry, so WIBU to let my In-laws believe I'm working in-house for a client when they visit tomorrow? WWYD? Thanks.

OP posts:
HeinousHecate · 22/10/2012 17:28

I'd do it.

Musomathsci · 22/10/2012 17:28

No brainer. Go to your Mum's. Sorted.

Trills · 22/10/2012 17:29

Do it.

aamia · 22/10/2012 17:29

I think going to your mum's is a fab idea! Depends on how honest you like to be though lol!

stealthsquiggle · 22/10/2012 17:31

Do it. No question.

TiAAAAARGHo · 22/10/2012 17:31

I'd do it too.

JustFabulous · 22/10/2012 17:31

It is the kindest thing for all of you for you to go to your Mum's.

MardyBra · 22/10/2012 17:32

Run for your life!

RobotLover68 · 22/10/2012 17:33

lie

Floggingmolly · 22/10/2012 17:33

Wouldn't cost me a thought.

ViviPru · 22/10/2012 17:33

Ha, well, I honestly wasn't expecting such a unanimous response so far.... For some reason I feel a bit bad about fibbing - I think DP isn't accurately visualising how the scenario would realistically pan out so is making me think I'm taking unnecessary evasive measures...

OP posts:
Woodyhels · 22/10/2012 17:34

Do it! Save your sanity! But maybe call by for lunch with them?

slambang · 22/10/2012 17:34

Would your dh back you up? Is he a good liar? Would he resent you not bering around to see his folks?

If the answers are yes yes no then go for it.

MrsKeithRichards · 22/10/2012 17:35

God they sound about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 22/10/2012 17:37

Run for the hills, or at least to your mum's house.

It's a white lie.

ginmakesitallok · 22/10/2012 17:38

As long as your ILs won't be popping round to see your Mum too...

lisaro · 22/10/2012 17:38

I'd lie - but I think you husband should be able to cope with that and the puppy, unless he is actually working as well.

PickledFanjoCat · 22/10/2012 17:38

Go to your mothers to work but meet them for lunch or something to be polite. Then you can go back to work.

Trills · 22/10/2012 17:39

I don't really understand how DP can't make a cup of tea while the puppy is there.

ViviPru · 22/10/2012 17:40

Good points, slambang

Yeah he'd back me up and is an excellent liar (to his parents - he's been doing it all his life). I don't think he'd resent me not being there, in actual fact now I think about it, he was the one who suggested I could go to my Mum's when he told me of their visit, but I think that was more to sweeten the pill and he didn't actually think I'd take him up on it. So when I told him I was thinking of evacuating just now, he got a bit moody.

He's also a bit disappointed about me suggesting I'd take the puppy - he has a rose-tinted idea of showing off our cute new puppy to his doting parents, which couldn't be further from reality - she's been a snappy, crochety monster this last couple of days and the truth is his parents could really care less about dogs.

OP posts:
poozlepants · 22/10/2012 17:40

Go and don't look back. I have inlaws who require 'hosting'- it is not optional as far as I can see.

Shutupanddrive · 22/10/2012 17:40

Do it!

Twitterqueen · 22/10/2012 17:43

I wfh too but am bound by numerous European conf calls so I can't just entertain people when they feel like it.

Absolutely do it!

NetworkGuy · 22/10/2012 17:43

No brainer - just do it. The puppy will be safe from causing a problem, you can concentrate on your clients' work, and they are the ones imposing themselves on you, it wasn't as if you were asking them to come this day and then avoiding them deliberately.

As they accept the day is a work day, it makes it so much more sensible to not be around, than to be wondering what the puppy is doing, whether they are happy, and how they might feel if you are in the same building but locked away as if they have something contagious :)

And what MKR says - the evasive measure is justified for you to have a clear conscience when charging your client a fee for working for them.

ViviPru · 22/10/2012 17:43

lisaro he should be working, but he will take the time out to host his parents. He can cope with her, and he would cope, but I think the situation would be quite fraught, so why put anyone through that?

The meeting for lunch thing is a good compromise idea and I'd do that, but they know that my Tuesday client is a good 2 hours drive away.

OP posts: