To think that I will not psychologically damage

[SecretCermonials]

My DCat by saying " no my fatty you have had your dinner" any more than I will give him species confusion when i pronounce he is "mummys cleverest beast" or make him join the SAS by telling him he is the "best furry bringer of mouse death in the world"
DP is concerned over the possible damage i am inflicting on his self esteem and delicate feline psyche
Disclaimer light hearted

I chose my usernames for one of my cats. We call them the Furry Motherfuckers as although they are cute, they are so annoying. They're being cute tonight though because of the fireworks. Won't be cute when Nathan's punching me in the face at 4am for foodz. Cats. Bah.

Well I still think it's a brilliant cat name

Formatting fail there....

Haha flippin me too

Nathan - do you have Sky Masterson too? Or a Miss Adelaide? Damn, I wish I'd thought of that cat-naming theme :o.

Please be careful with our cats feelings. Our cat is no longer with us and I miss her so. I wish that I had never gone down the line of controlled yowling..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/478733-our-cat-won-t-sleep-through-the-night/AllOnOnePage

With praise you need to be really careful. You need to think how your praise your moggie. There is no point in telling your cat that he or she beautiful. You need to encourage behaviour you want.

Hassled calling your cat little fucker will encourage him to shag anything in the neighbourhood with an oriface. Is that what you really want?

You probably ABU and the cat will have untold damage.

However, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones - One term of endearment for one of my cats is "The mad serial killer", which she is - and very proud of it too. The other cat (also female) is often referred to as "Tim nice, but dim" - because she is indeed lovely, but cerebrally challenged.

Cerebrally challenged

really that thread is genius!

I used to call our cat Fatty but he started gulping his food down too and throwing it up. DH was convinced I'd given him an eating disorder.

When my favourite cat wakes me by licking my head at 4 in the morning I call him 'my little fucking cock licker' in an affectionate tone as I take him downstairs to the food bowl.

SecretCermonials' cat on the therapist's couch

quad

Oh OP i feel sorry for your cats >passive aggressive sad face<

you will damage his esteem, if i knew who you were, i'd be calling catline right now

poor wittle pussy

Edgar i need help dont I?

yes you need assistance to turn your situation around - they aren't going to rehome your cat, they'll come to offer support so you can be a better owner in future.

i think your cat should see a vet just in case they have become depressed.

i can also recommend 'old possums book of practical cats' as a manual to help you on your way.

edgar I will try the book, and hope for my cats psychiatric future

"Cats

Cats no less liquid than their shadows
Offer no angles to the wind.
They slip, diminished, neat through loopholes
Less than themselves; will not be pinned

To rules or routes for journeys; counter
Attack with non-resistance; twist
Enticing through the curving fingers
And leave an angered empty fist.

They wait obsequious as darkness
Quick to retire, quick to return;
Admit no aim or ethics; flatter
With reservations; will not learn

To answer to their names; are seldom
Truly owned till shot or skinned.
Cats no less liquid than their shadows
Offer no angles to the wind."

hopeful but still sad face

ReallyTired, that other thread is Mumsnet at its gloriously insane best

OP, I think you should be careful with the language you use around your DCat. I've been calling mine Psycho Pussy for years. Last week I discovered she's got her own sexcam site, offering feline domination. I hacked into her messages (I know I shouldn't but the anxiety was destroying our relationship, I had to do something!) and my worst fears came true. She's been meeting toms on the riverbank, where she mauls them half to death for packets of cooked ham. No wonder she pukes her dry food all over the furniture.

The vet referred us for family therapy. We've only been once so far, but the therapist seems to think I've imprinted her with the Psycho Pussy identity. It could be all my fault she's gone off the rails. I'll never forgive myself.

Oh garlic dont blame yourself, you couldn't of predicted her sexual predilections!

Thanks, Secret ... but I was wondering. You wrote: "DP is concerned over the possible damage i am inflicting on his self esteem and delicate feline psyche" He hasn't been going out without saying when he'll be back, only to return with muddy paws and an ear hanging off, has he? Only he sounds like just the sort of tom PP gets her claws into down the river ... Have you noticed any naice ham missing lately? Make sure your DCat can't get unsupervised interent access ...

Love that slightly spooky poem, Edgar! seldom truly owned till shot or skinned made me lol

Well... He did come back showing signs of a scuffle now you mention it ?! oh blimey I've made him resort to sex crime haven't I? He's a beaten sexual gimp tom!

I know. Do you think we should start a support group? For us, I mean!

I think we should! I thought i had considered all my obligations before getting a cat... How wrong was i?!