To be pissed of with my DH about the soup?

[FishfingersAreOK]

Because I really cannot tell (raging PMT and v emotional). It is such a minor thing. He has to work on Sunday so yesterday I made a big pan of our family favourite soup so we could have it for lunch today.

He knew this and we agreed we have several things we have to do - he has to take DS to barbers and go and help his DF hang a picture.

The plan agreed at breakfast was he would do those things in the morning and then get back for lunch. Family lunch. I am already getting a bit agitated as I know what happens when he goes to his parents - whatever he is therefore takes longer than he thinks and he gets asked to do other stuff. There is no way he is going to be back at a reasonable lunchtime. I can see my big pot of love soup not being used.

He then proceeds to fuck around get distracted by various "jobs" - doing a computer back up, faffing around with his bike helmet. I know he doesn't get much time during the week to do stuff like this but FFS. I point out (stupid I know) that he really needs to get a move on. He finally takes a shower and gets dressed. He is finally ready to leave at 11.30. He is going to walk into town and back (20mins minimum each way - probably longer with DS). There is no way he will be back for a reasonable lunch time. I ask (albeit really grumpily) if he can go to his parents in the afternoon. He says, in essence, to back off - he will play it by ear - he may be back for lunch he may not. He will call me and let me know. He will work out how stuff is as the time goes. It is his weekend. He is not a child. He needs to have some control and flexibility over the weekend - just like I do. He is pissed off with me. I feel really pissed off and hurt by him.

Oh bugger am I being unreasonable to be royally pissed off and hurt by this? I feel like my soup - and therefore the love that went into making it/planning it - has been thrown in my face. I am being irrational aren't I? But I just want to throw it away. Or is he being a bit of a shit?

Am I a ratty control freak or right to be pissed off. Please help me get some perspective on this.

Soup is tomato....but the most yummy tomato soup ever. Everytime we have had with friends/family they have without fail asked for the recipe.

Meze lovely. Half way through DH and DS walked past window and joined us. I still got my family lunch . And comfort Love Soup for tea.

This is nonsense and just PMT, soup can keep in a pan until tonight or in the fridge for tomorrow.

And breeeeeathe

Can I have the recipe please, I make loads of soups and always on the look out for new recipes? :)

YABU :)

But I love it :)

I just stood for an hour and made tomato and garlic soup it is rank dh bravely drank a cup of it then followed it with. Bombay bad boy

Ah, that's lovely :)

ooh yes, recipe please: I have never managed to make edible tomato soup

This reminds me of an argument about nothing with dh, when my arting shot whilst slamming the door was" it s not fair! I am allowed to be unreasonable soetimes!".

So you were BU, but everyone is allowed to BU sometimes!

I had an HUGE row with my dh about a cushion once, yes a fucking cushion

YABU to tell us about this amazing soup without giving us the recipe.

Cushions -

Can someone please explain the Sharon comment - do not understand that one.

And recipe - seriously is lovely.
Ingredients
1 tin tomatoes (try and use decent ones not value ones - does make a difference)
1 chopped onion
1 chopped carrot
2 chopped rashers bacon (any)
1/2 tin of swilled out tomato water (you know rinse the tin - half full - add to pan).
1 stock cube (I use beef oxo)
1 tablespoon flour
Squish of tom puree
1 good grating fresh nutmeg
Salt & Pepper
Bay leaf if available

Method 1 (aka properly)
Sweat the bacon, carrot and onion in a pan until onion softish and bacon cooked.

Add the flour and mix in.

Add the tinned toms and 1/2 tin of water and stir in.

Add stock cube, puree, nutmeg, salt and pepper and bayleaf.

Simmer on the hob for 20 mins or so stirring occasionally to stop sticking. If it begins to look a bit lacking in liquid add a splash more water.
When carrot is soft and mushy it is ready to "whizz". At this point REMOVE BAYLEAF [unpleasant green bits in soup experience].

Whizz. Add some milk or water if a bit too thick. Taste. Season to taste. Eat. {awaits discussion as to whether you eat or drink soup}

Method 2 (lazy, easy)
Put all ingredients in a slow cooker or casserole with lid on.

Cook on medium heat (160/180) for about an hour/hour and a half - or until carrots mushy. Check half way to make sure not catching. When carrots mushy is ready to whizz.
At this point REMOVE BAYLEAF [unpleasant green bits in soup experience].

Whizz. Add some milk or water if a bit too thick. Taste. Season to taste. Eat.

I used to do it "properly" but my old gas hob was a bit pants at simmering - either used to go out if too low or catch the soup if high enough not to blow out. So tried the shove in the oven method. Takes longer but you can just leave it. Have done it with sweating stuff first and then shoving in oven and possibly this gives a tiny bit more flavour than if you just shove it in cold - but taste difference is fairly minimal. Love it in that however you make it, it tastes brilliant, you can shove it in the oven, go out for a long walk and if it is in for longer it will not harm - just get in, remove bayleaf, whizz and ready.

Sorry - shall stop evangelical soup waffling now

Oh and I always, always make at least double this - and before I "thin" it down I grab a couple of ladle-fuls of the thicker stuff to use as a pasta sauce for the children.

I actually remember how this recipe came into the family about 31 years ago....my DSis made it for her first cookery class at school. Mum dutifully tasted the (cold) soup when DSis got in from school - just the normal "oh that is lovely dear" reaction was the plan from her - but she tasted it, I tasted it, DSis tasted it. Even cold it was gorgeous. Mum then nearly knocked us both over in her eagerness to get to DSis's cookery folder so she could make a note of the recipe. Has been a family favourite ever since.

This is like anal sex: relax in your mind.

This has reminded me of the old joke
'Why does it take a woman with PMT 6 hours to make the dinner?'
'Because it fucking does' (to be said very aggressively).

Such a lovely thread

I now want to make soup for tea.

Anal sex ?

So I leave the bay leaf in then

I love a day that starts out awful and ends up great, no better way to renew perspective for future shit days. Enjoy the rest of it

Ohhhhh I feel a name change coming.....

Oh and DS's hair has been massacared - think Olivier in Henry V. And DPil didn't need Dh in the end - they had already hung picture.

So Mardiness from soon to be "RemoveTheBayleaf" {once I work out how} was mostly for nothing. And lovely MNetters helped me not ruin our only day of the weekend

Suggestions for what to do (once a month)? Make your soup, sounds nice, leave it for whoever, whenever. Leave a list of chores for whoever, whenever.

Then - go to bed for the day. You then do not have to deal with anything or see anything slightly annoying.

Thanks for the recipe - will be trying that out this week!