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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop my 10 yo daughter eating, even though she's not fat (yet)?

149 replies

KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 18:44

From the moment she got in from school she has been eating. Crackers, strawberries, biscuits (she ate more than her share but her brother and I weren't quick enough) also a yoghurt, and a chocolate spread sandwich with two slices of bread! I took the chocolate spread off her and couldn't believe how much of it was gone, i only bought it an hour ago.

I told her spagbol in an hour, so no more eating. the whinging and the whining - you would have thought I had locked her in the chokey for a week with gruel and water. so, i managed to prevent her eating anymore bread/cheese while I cooked, although a few times I had to say 'i said NO!' and shut the cupboard door as she was opening it.......... made the spagbol and dished up and she had seconds, which is FINE, totally fine. Then she was hungry, so i said have some snap peas. her brother and i had the snap peas and I said have a pear then. no, still 'hungry' but not hungry enough for snap peas or a pear but she has devoured two brioches. i'm so cross, all the food i carted back from the supermarket earlier, which was for the whole weekend, she on her own has already depleted a weekend's supply of carbs!!! she will be up before me tomorrow eating whatever she can lay her hands on as well.

aibu to put it to her that she should think about whether or not she is really hungry or not. and that if she is genuinely hungry she wouldn't turn her nose up at snap peas and a pear.... i'm forever telling her that she can't have six slices of bread a day, even brown bread, because of the salt content. i'm worn out with her.

she's ten by the way and although she is not plump she has a sticky out tummy, it's not wobbly, it's kind of like a drum sticking out, four months pregnant!

OP posts:
Inneedofbrandy · 19/10/2012 19:15

Maybe she has worms! What my mother would say anyway...

bruffin · 19/10/2012 19:15

I wouldn't limit the carbs. My dd grew about 4 inches in a year at that age. They grow out then up which is why they get a but if a tummy. Same with my ds.
Once they start to hit puberty they can be permantly hungry.
Both my dcs have no fat on them at all

GossipWitch · 19/10/2012 19:19

I find my boys eat like this whilst having a growth spurt, unfortunately it lasts weeks, I limit them to one packet of crisps and 4 biscuits a day they have a large dinner after school and they can help themselves to all the fruit and veg they can stomach, I also keep them well hydrated which helps too. As long as they are getting plenty of exercise (all 3 very active) i'm not worried about weight gain.

I dont think you are being unreasonable, that is an awful lot for a ten year old, I definitely think you need to set limits on the amount she's eating.

Original poster
KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 19:21

Maybe I should do a new thread for this but, did your daughters all start their periods earlier than you did. I was a week short of 14, and relieved to finally get it! So (naively?) I was expecting that my daughter get to at LEAST 13 before she got hers. Is that total ignorance on my part?

OP posts:
bumperella · 19/10/2012 19:24

I think you're mad for worrying. After dinner let her have as much in the way of "boring" food that she has an appetite for - make extra spagetti without the sauce or whatever - surely at 10 she should be eating until she's no longer hungry - you said she's not overweight so really why are you telling her that wanting to satisfy her appetitite is wrong???

I stopped growing when I was 23 - when I went to uni I was 5'8" and a (UK) size 6 - useful as I could buy childrens clothes and clim it was a crop-top ('80's). Am now 6' and a size 12 (and 40 years old - how did that happen??). My parents used to go on (and on and on) about food - cost, obesity, etc - so I didn't eat what I needed to when they were looking.

WorraLiberty · 19/10/2012 19:25

Kenneth What does your DD do after school?

Does she play outside or go to any activities?

Could she be bored?

Original poster
KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 19:27

I thnk she is bored yes. She does dancing one day and drama another day. she walks home from school (with me) because we don't have a car. we do walk more than other families because we don't have a car.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/10/2012 19:30

When she is dancing or doing drama, is she just as hungry?

bruffin · 19/10/2012 19:31

I was 12 Dd was 11.

Original poster
KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 19:33

welll,, she comes in ravenous. she likes her food for sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 19:35

Thanks bruffin. interesting... i may do a separate thread. has it been done before.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/10/2012 19:36

I think if I were you I'd introduce and stick to the 'ask before you take' rule and make sure she drinks more.

My DS2 is terrible for not drinking...he would literally go 24hrs if I didn't keep an eye on him.

He doesn't like water much so it's normally milk or juice.

3monkeys3 · 19/10/2012 19:36

I used to eat like this when my mum came back with the shopping! For me is was all the excitement of new yummy stuff and not being able to decide what to have, so just having everything! I wouldn't worry too much - she's growing and probably won't eat like this every day, so it will even out! Her tummy is probably sticking out because it's full - I bet it's flatter in the morning.

Original poster
KennethParcell · 19/10/2012 19:39

yes worra. interesting somebody suggested porridge and porridge made with full fat milk is something she has eaten in the past that has finally FILLED her. I must start making her that whilst simultaneously putting the lid back on the bread bin shutting the cupboard doors and reminding her not to eat everybody's share of fruit.

I must introduce the concept of thinking about whether or not you're hungry, and somehow Confused making her drink more.

OP posts:
mamij · 19/10/2012 19:43

As other posters have said, I would have a fruit bowl - as much as she likes. And maybe nuts and dried fruit instead of refined sugary things like brioche.

imperialstateknickers · 19/10/2012 19:47

another one with a skinny face-stuffer here... dd1 seems to have hollow legs, anything is grist to her mill, healthy or unhealthy.

I control the level of unhealthy crap by only buying limited quantities, when it's gone it's gone, tough. She'll happily choose fruit even when there's still crisps etc left in the house, thankfully. She (and dd2 too) loves veg, particularly brussels sprouts! Amazing...

Helping yourself from anywhere other than the kid's snack cupboard or fruit bowl is banned, and they're still young enough to be scared off by mummy going ballistic.

BlueSkySinking · 19/10/2012 19:48

Is she mistaking thirst for hunger or is she bored?

blackcurrants · 19/10/2012 19:51

I think porridge is a.great idea, plus.teach her how to.scramble an egg or have some hard boiled ones in the fridge - a lot of the time a bit of protein sticks to the ribs a bit more! Cheese or cold meat, nuts, seeds - I wouldn't talk about obesity (the LAST thing you.want to do is provoke secret shame eating) but about having a big drink of water before meals or snacks, putting all your food on a plate, eating it at a table and not grazing while distracted by tv, etc.

socharlotte · 19/10/2012 19:52

Y6 girls shoot up unbelievably IME.Has your DD had a big spurt yet or do you think she might be due one?

BlueSkySinking · 19/10/2012 19:52

Crackers - wheat?
Strawberries - sugar
Biscuits - wheat again?
A yogurt - does it contain sugar?
A chocolate spread sandwich with 2 slices of bread - wheat and sugar?
2 portions of spaghetti bolognese - wheat again.
2 brioches - wheat and sugar.
Banana and pear - more sugar.

I think she needs to eat something else other then wheat and sugar possibly.

nokidshere · 19/10/2012 19:55

My son was like this last year in yr7 - he was 12 and 5ft2, he ate all the time. Exactly 10 months later he was 5ft9!!!!!!!!! and his food intake has gone back to normal.

So now my 11 year old is wanting to eat all the time I am less worried and am expecting a huge growth spurt sometime soon!

Laquitar · 19/10/2012 19:58

I would give her a boiled egg and a cracker after school. Or a falafer and a cracker.

What she had sounds a lot but none of it is filling. No protein.

Oh and never show them the shopping.

Mollydoggerson · 19/10/2012 19:59

Apparently Western girls are staring their periods earlier and earlier due to weight gain. Apparently once they hit approx 7 and half stone, it triggers some hormone that starts puberty. So early periods are weight related.

cappucinogirl4 · 19/10/2012 20:06

I started my periods when I was 13.My DD started at 10.I wasn't expecting that.I thought we had plenty of time.Luckily the month before I had bought some pads and told her where they were for a 'just in case'.She is extremely embarrassed about it,i think because she is the 1st in her class.She won't talk to me about it at all.

bruffin · 19/10/2012 20:08

It's not weight, my Dd certainly wasn't 7.5stone . I read it was a certain percentage of body fat.