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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't have to accommodate gay / unmarried couples?

407 replies

moogstera1 · 19/10/2012 09:18

Re. the b and b owners who have been fined for refusing to allow a gay couple to share a room.
From what I can gather, they are committed Christians who do not allow hetero or homosexual unmarried couples to share a room.
The gay couple deliberatly chose this B and B as they knew they would be refused a shared room and wanted to make a legal point.
They were offered 2 seperate rooms but refused.
So, despite personally not being at all religious and not caring if someone wants to share their bed with whoever they choose, AIBU to think that in their own home, they can choose to uphold their values ( which seem to be consistent as regards no unmarried couples.)

OP posts:
SackGirl · 19/10/2012 10:05

I don't agree with it, but I can't help feel sorry for people who are trapped in uneducated religious minds.

A1980 · 19/10/2012 10:05

YABVVU

They're running a b&b ergo it isn't their private home.

One of my ex boyfriends parents did not approve of us sleeping together under their roof when we stayed with them. I might add I was at uni and we were about 20 years old. old fashioned perhaps but their home, their rules and I respected that 100%. But when I PAY for a hotel room oe b&b to a business they are not telling me who I can and can't share with.

ICBINEG · 19/10/2012 10:05

Do you have the right to think less of someone because of their sexual orientation? YES (although I will then exercise my right to think less of you because of it)

Do you have the right to treat people of different sexual orientation differently as part of your business? NO it's illegal.

If you can't run your business legally then don't run it. Seems simple to me.

EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 19/10/2012 10:05

We stick to anonymous chains when on holiday for exactly that reason - especially if we have DD with us. We don't need the hassle, she definitely doesn't.

SuePurblybilt · 19/10/2012 10:05

I've never heard that the gay couple chose the B&B deliberately to challenge, rather the reverse. Can anyone link to this actually reported? I can't find it.
Not that it matters, you're still off the charts BVU.

BupcakesAndHaunting · 19/10/2012 10:06

I don't think that the gay couple seeking it out to "test" it did anything wrong at all. This type of divvyness needs challenging. Well done to them.

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 19/10/2012 10:06

Sue I can't find anything about this either, personally I think it's a load of bull.

somebloke123 · 19/10/2012 10:07

And anti-religious creeds have been used to justify racism, slavery and sexism e.g. Jacobinism, Fabianism, Nazism, Communism, Maoism.

It really turns on the question of whether if someone lets out a room in their home it remains their private home, or it becomes a sort of hotel. My own gut feeling is that it remains their private home and people who stay there are guests, albeit paying guests. But I don't really know how many rooms you have to let before it makes the transition from one to the other.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 19/10/2012 10:08

I agree bupcakes. They can put up and shut up or they can highlight the problem and try to change it.

Pagwatch · 19/10/2012 10:09

Sue, I think I heard it on radio 5.

It may be true or not. It doesn't make any difference to their getting the right judgement.

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:09

We have laws to protect us from 'uneducated religious minds'. We dont need to feel sorry for them.

To the B&B owner who said The owners brochure makes their Christian believes very clear so why not respect that and stay somewhere else? - what if their beliefs dictated no blacks? Would a black person just be expected to 'respect' that and stay away?

BupcakesAndHaunting · 19/10/2012 10:09

I don't even know if it's true that they tested the B&B by trying to book in, but tbh, if I was looking for a B&B and I chanced upon a website of one that said "Sorry we don't accomodate women with brown hair" I sure as fuckery would book in and challenge it! No way would I just accept that bullshite.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 19/10/2012 10:10

I'll weed out the ginger haters with you.

Birdsgottafly · 19/10/2012 10:10

Many Christians at that court case argued against the B&B owners, as they said that, as Christians, they now accept Homosexuality.

So the refusal of the couple was on shakey ground, when they stated that it was because of their religion.

As others, including Church Leaders, stated that they could of had them sharing a bed under their business roof.

eBook · 19/10/2012 10:11

Why do you have to make a point,like a spoilt toddler who doesn't get their way?

I know, so selfish isn't it. Just like those inconvenient suffragettes, and Nelson Mandela, anti-war protestors, the Ford sewing machinists on strike for equal pay, anti-slavery campaigners and the students seeking democracy in Tiananmen Square. Why couldn't they just accept their lot and stop fussing? Hmm

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 19/10/2012 10:12

I'm pretty sure if a B&B had denied the Christian couple a room because of their beliefs they'd be suing for discrimination.

TooMuchRain · 19/10/2012 10:12

I don't agree with it, but I can't help feel sorry for people who are trapped in uneducated religious minds

Free will?? They live in a society where they have ample opportunity to become 'untrapped'.

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:12

ebook - exactly.

BupcakesAndHaunting · 19/10/2012 10:13

That's interesting, birdsgottafly. So they're actually just Big Homophobes, cloaking their bigotry under religion...

It's a bit like my granny, that. Never abided by the Bible at any time except for when she was pointing out that the bible says "No gaying allowed" Hmm

pigletmania · 19/10/2012 10:14

Yabvvvvu it's not only their own home but a business that is not above the discrimination laws sorry. If they feel that they are in the wrong business. If the couple told them they were in a civil partnership would they still be allowed to stay there, I think not Hmm

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 19/10/2012 10:14

Bupcakes My Nan was exactly the same, which was a shame because she had a gay son. Fortunately now they - and his lovely husband - have built a relationship, but it took her decades to do it and she's still convinced he's secretly straight Hmm

SackGirl · 19/10/2012 10:15

To all of the people who have replied to me... You are not really getting my point...
So I will just bullet point my thoughts

.I agree that it was out of order of them to refuse the double room

.I don't think religion should be grounds for discrimination

.I have absolutely no issues with gay people AT ALL and believe it isn't a choice to be gay, same as it wasn't my choice to be heterosexual

.Christianity has been around for decades and decades and therefore will be the 'only way' for some people because it's all they know

.The world has very quickly moved on and changed it's laws towards many different orientations

.Some people may need longer to get to grips with this ever changing world and it's rules/acceptances.

If you could see it properly you'd realise I agree with all of you, I just also have sympathy for the other party as they aren't choosing to be stupid, it's what they've learnt over a long period of time as being 'right'

If I was brought up to think that eating potatoes was wrong and I would be punished for eating them, i'd most likely have a very strong aversion to eating potatoes. It wouldn't be right for me to think like that, but that wouldn't change the fact it was imbedded in my brain.

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:17

I just cannot understand why some people aren't getting the fact that if we let this discrimination stand then it opens the gates for so much more.

Why does the fact that 'oooh but its Christianity' make it ok for some people?? Confused

SackGirl · 19/10/2012 10:17

'Free will?? They live in a society where they have ample opportunity to become 'untrapped'.'

Yes I agree, but you could say the same for anxiety/depression, from all of the things I was taught when I was a child I grew up to have extreme anxiety and it took a year of CBT to even slightly alter my state of mind... Religion is a mind set and would take a long tie to undo it...

SackGirl · 19/10/2012 10:18

I'm not saying let it stand fluffyraggies, it should be brought to light, but maybe in a different way