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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't have to accommodate gay / unmarried couples?

407 replies

moogstera1 · 19/10/2012 09:18

Re. the b and b owners who have been fined for refusing to allow a gay couple to share a room.
From what I can gather, they are committed Christians who do not allow hetero or homosexual unmarried couples to share a room.
The gay couple deliberatly chose this B and B as they knew they would be refused a shared room and wanted to make a legal point.
They were offered 2 seperate rooms but refused.
So, despite personally not being at all religious and not caring if someone wants to share their bed with whoever they choose, AIBU to think that in their own home, they can choose to uphold their values ( which seem to be consistent as regards no unmarried couples.)

OP posts:
QuenelleIsOrangeAndGoldForNow · 19/10/2012 10:19

moogstera1 and SackGirl you have ignored this fact explained by ForkintheForeheid right up there ^ in post #4:

that [religious] argument didn't stand up in court because they admitted that A. They didn't ask the couple if they were in a civil partnership before refusing them a double room and B. They admitted that they don't always check if heterosexual couples are married.

They were only applying their 'religious' beliefs to homosexuals, not to unmarried couples.

They weren't even discriminating according to their religion. It was pure homophobic bigotry.

grovel · 19/10/2012 10:19

Sackgirl, I know what you are saying and don't disagree.

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:19

... they aren't choosing to be stupid, it's what they've learnt over a long period of time as being 'right'

So ... we let them just carry on, right? Because they don't know any better Hmm

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:20

X post sack.

In what way then?

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 19/10/2012 10:20

I'm so happy to see how many people are actually supporting the gay couple in this thread though. It warms my LGBT loving cockles Grin

MakeItALarge · 19/10/2012 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grovel · 19/10/2012 10:22

fluffyraggies, no-one has said they should be allowed to carry on.

trockodile · 19/10/2012 10:22

I'm a straight Christian who supports equality and know (tbh mostly through twitter/Facebook) many gay Christians. Jesus told us to love God and to love our neighbour. There are many laws in the bible which Christians do not follow as we believe times have evolved, this is no different. This is not an issue of Christians v homosexuals-it is about whether the beliefs of 2 individuals who identify as Christian should be allowed to break the law and discriminate against a gay couple.

valiumredhead · 19/10/2012 10:25

The gay couple deliberatly chose this B and B as they knew they would be refused a shared room and wanted to make a legal point

That's not what they said yesterday on the radio - they took it to court because 'it didn't bother them that much as they were long in the tooth and could cope with ridiculous prejudice, but they would hate for anyone young to face this who wasn't so sure of themselves' - or words to that affect (effect?)

You can't have a b and b and decide who has sex with whom. You can do that in your own house if you really want to be a twat, but you can't do that with a business and quite rightly so!

grovel · 19/10/2012 10:25

MakeItALarge, they do allow gays and unmarried couples to stay. They don't want them sharing a bed. Again, I think the court got it right. I am, though, able to feel a little sympathy for the B&B owners.

NotGeoffVader · 19/10/2012 10:26

If they were invited as guests to a private residence then that is fine. However if you operate a hotel or guest house/B&B then you are running a business and should accommodate people regardless of their sexuality, religion, age or gender (or for that matter, number/ability of limbs, eyes, ears...etc).

If you don't want to do that, then don't run a business. Although I am heterosexual I would certainly boycott any establishment that discriminated against anyone because of those factors.

fluffyraggies · 19/10/2012 10:26

Well, i'm not sure grovel. Sackgirl said .Some people may need longer to get to grips with this ever changing world and it's rules/acceptances.

If this was in the context of someone's personal beliefs while sat in their arm chair at home then yes, i agree. But this is in the context of people being allowed to carry on running a business in this way.

somebloke123 · 19/10/2012 10:27

trockodile

Out of interest, on exactly the same reasoning, do you think that all churches and creeds, Christian, Muslim and all, should be forced by law to have gay marriage and not to discriminate in any way between the sexes and sexual orientataions?

Birdsgottafly · 19/10/2012 10:28

It would be very dangerous to allow those with the means to do so to, to buy up land and property/business, then allow them to make these rules, if you cannot see that then you are increadibly stupid and need to study modern history.

If you look at the location of this hotel it isn't as simple as "choose another".

They didn't choose this hotel to bring this court case as a test case.

PeshwariNaan · 19/10/2012 10:29

They're running a business, aren't they? Doesn't matter if it's out of their home. They can like it or lump it. And, they are utter cunts.

grovel · 19/10/2012 10:29

I don't want to fight Sackgirl's corner but she was pretty explicit:

I agree that it was out of order of them to refuse the double room

FamiliesShareGerms · 19/10/2012 10:31

Very simple, OP, YABVVVVVVVVVVU

Cartoonjane · 19/10/2012 10:31

The idea that it is Christian not to let them sleep in the same room is preposterous. A few people have chosen that idea to give credability to their own prejudices and others have followed. Would Jesus Christ have let them stay on the same room?

Catkinsthecatinthehat · 19/10/2012 10:32

I don't know why you're claiming that Mormons and Muslims can get away with discriminatory business practices either. Mormons are also Christians, but a Mormon B&B wouldn't be able to reject black guests for example, even though Mormonism is extremely racist and banned black people from the priesthood until relatively recently. I can also think of recent news stories where Muslim taxi drivers have been prosecuted for refusing to carry blind passengers with guide dogs etc etc.

NotGeoffVader · 19/10/2012 10:33

Somebloke I think that marriages should be of the same 'calibre' whether conducted at a civil venue or a church. In fact, I think churches/equivalent establishments should NOT conduct marriages - they should be the venue where those of whichever faith is affiliated to them can go for a blessing/additional ceremony should they wish.

This would then give every married couple the same legal standing.

TheCunningStunt · 19/10/2012 10:33

YABU. And I think the majority of MN has already said everything I would have

pushitreallgood · 19/10/2012 10:36

they are knobs, its fine to be christians, it is fine to christians in business but to then say no you cant because stay in a room because you might have sex outside of marriage. it ridiculous, go in to a different business. people go away for dirty weekends and to make it so unequal as well. they are just dumb i am afraid. it's their right i suppose but they are then opening themselves up and will now have a very short lived business.

EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 19/10/2012 10:37

The upshot of the recent gay marriage thread was that legal marriage should be a civil ceremony which would be the same for all couples, and then if they wanted to have a religious ceremony on top they could. Made sense I thought.

somebloke123 · 19/10/2012 10:39

NotGeoffVader

So you would forbid churches or mosques from actually marrying people, reducing any service to the status of a blessing?

But surely if you would make it illegal for a church or mosque to refuse gay marriage you should also make it illegal for them to refuse a gay blessing? It's still discrimination.

CelineMcBean · 19/10/2012 10:40

I cannot believe there is even a debate in this day and age.

The law is clear:

? Do not discriminate against people with protected characteristics, one of which is sexual orientation.

? An acquired protected characteristic, such as religion, is trumped by an innate protected characteristic such as sexual orientation or sex.

If you are unable to run your business in accordance with the laws of the land you have two choices 1. Pick another business where your nasty views are not an issue 2. Go and live somewhere where your nasty views are accepted.