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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not really see the teachers point of view for punishing dd for this..

39 replies

Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:18

Today I got told that dd had been hardwork. She had painted her hands at the easel and made handprint pictures.
She then tipped a box of bricks over, albeit the teacher said it was tidy up time and they had been tidied up. When speaking to dd she said she was going to build a castle and she hadn't heard it was tidy up time.
I can see the teachers point of view on this as she should have been listening. However when I tried to talk to dd about it she said, next time she will tip the bricks up in the construction area as that would have been better, which leads me to think she doesn't associate the 'wrong behavior as doing it at tidy up time rather it was where she did it.
But the first incident seems bizarre to me, I work in a nursery and we would never punish a child for that.
I have supported the teacher, dd missed story and had to tidy the bricks up, and I have followed it through at home but I am still struggling to see her point.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 18/10/2012 20:21

Was she actually punished, or just told to tidy the bricks away?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 18/10/2012 20:22

I'm not sure I fully understand, but it doesn't sound like she has actually been punished. She has been made to tidy up the mess she made.

I take it she's in reception?

slartybartfast · 18/10/2012 20:23

well was she meant to make hand print pictures or was she meant to draw or write letters or something. bit of an uncessary mess on her hands perhaps - how old is she?

slartybartfast · 18/10/2012 20:23

perhaps they thought she was being defiant

Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:26

Yes I see what your saying I suppose missing story isn't really a punishment.
I agree she should have picked the bricks up, what I am finding difficult to understand is why she was 'hardwork' and why painting her hands was such an issue.
Maybe I am overthinking it, yes reception.

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Scarynuff · 18/10/2012 20:27

What was the punishment?

Scarynuff · 18/10/2012 20:28

Sorry, I meant what was the punishment for painting her hands?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 18/10/2012 20:30

What did the teacher actually say? Could it just have been that her behaviour needed a lot of management today so the teacher was just letting you know?

Making handprint pictures is a typical thing that children are supposed to do in reception, so there must be more to it.

I wouldn't worry about her being made to tidy up the bricks. It's not a punishment, it's just making her tidy up the mess she made. No one else should have to do it for her, not when it's an easy thing to tidy. I'm sure she will have been able to hear the story, it's more likely that she just wasn't sitting on the carpet while she was tidying up her bricks.

catgirl1976 · 18/10/2012 20:32

Tidying bricks up isn't a punishment - it's tidying up

"Hard work" sounds a bit much for what you describe though and painting her hands and doing hand prints doesn't sound like bad behaviour

Tryharder · 18/10/2012 20:35

That's harsh. I would expect my reception age child to be punished for being violent, mean or overly disruptive but not for hand painting and knocking bricks over.

alphabite · 18/10/2012 20:36

Eh. She just had to tidy up. Not exactly a punishment. You are being completely unreasonable to make an issue of this. Do you tidy everything up for your daughter? Why should the teachers?

jamaisjedors · 18/10/2012 20:36

I think you are over-thinking this. Don't worry about "following through at home", the teacher will have dealt with it and at reception age I don't think an extra punishment at home would make any sense (too far from the event).

Maybe have a word about listening to what the teacher says instead? Sounds like your DD might have been ignoring instructions a lot.

jamaisjedors · 18/10/2012 20:37

Is your daughter a pfb? You sound a bit stressy about something trivial tbh.

Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:38

She said she had painted her hands and put it on the paper, she did say after that it did sound petty but she didn't elaborate any more. Maybe they don't like the mess.
Never thought that she would have been tidying up whilst story was going on, but dd did say she had to go to the library? Not sure if that's true or not.
Her exact words were 'hardwork' and she said she had had to really shout at her this afternoon.
I totally agree she should tidy up, I just interpreted from her she had to miss story as a punishment.
Maybe she was being difficult all day and they were the worst things hence her speaking to me.

OP posts:
alphabite · 18/10/2012 20:40

For a child who was being deliberately defiant then missing a story would be a perfectly acceptable punishment at that age.

Scarynuff · 18/10/2012 20:42

So, was there actually any punishment for painting her hands or not? Confused

OP it might be worth getting her hearing checked too.

Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:43

Alphabite no I don't tidy up everything and I don't expect the teachers to, it was the missing story time I felt was a little unfair but as has been said maybe that was because she was tidying up.

Jama I agree about the listening I think that may have been the issue and I have spoken to her about that. I am not stress just wondered whether mainly that 'handpainting' thing was bad behaviour. She is my 3rd so definitely not PFB :)

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Cahoots · 18/10/2012 20:45

Unless there is a lot more backstory I wouldn't worry about this at all. I think you are over thinking it too.

I am guessing PFB too (sorry)

jamaisjedors · 18/10/2012 20:46

Ok apologies!

It's just that I never really think about this kind of thing, but maybe I am missing a mother hen gene Smile

Cahoots · 18/10/2012 20:46

Oh gosh, not a PFB at all Blush

I still wouldn't worry about it though.

GhostShip · 18/10/2012 20:47

YABU

FrustratedSycamoreBonks · 18/10/2012 20:48

Has she had her hearing tested recently? My concern is that your dd isn't appearing to hear or fully understand (perhaps not hearing all the words) what is said to her.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 18/10/2012 20:50

If you work in a nursery, surely you would understand what the actual problem is with the hand painting, because I can't see why anything you've said would be a problem.

Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:51

Maybe because it is so out of character, I have had her in my nursery for 2 years and never had an issue with her being defiant to staff although we wouldn't interpret handpainting as defiant.
Maybe she was just having an off day, I won't loose any sleep over it. :)
However we may need to rethink allowing the children at nursery free handpainting as she will have presumed that was ok.
Thanks everyone

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Lilyloo · 18/10/2012 20:53

Will get her hearing checked though as she hasn't had a test recently !

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