AIBU to want to buy a sleeping bag for a street beggar and huffy that my family member wouldn't lend me the money to do so?

[KelperRose]

Yesterday we were in town, I was chumming a member of my family for him to get a few specific bits and pieces so involved a couple of hours in and of out shops in the main area's of Edinburgh.

Anyway it was absolutely pissing down with rain and there was one beggar (I'm sure that term is not pc but unsure what else to use?) who was soaked to the skin with a sopping wet blanket covering him.....he didn't even have a coat.

I felt so bad for this guy I wanted to help in a constructive way but didn't have my debit card on me (I deliberately left it home as I knew I'd buy stuff I didn't need in the shops otherwise and come home with more boots I don't really need)

I asked person with me if he would help by lending me the money to buy him a sleeping bag or a nice warm waterproof jacket and I'd give him the money as soon as we got home.

He refused on the basis of he thought it was a completely stupid thing to do.

So was he in the right and was it a stupid idea or should he have lent me the money for what would have been at max 2 hours?

D'oh. Totally missed that you are also op Ignore what I said about the southwest!

This is one thing I don't understand .........if charities helped why are there people sitting in the middle of princes street soaked through to the skin and looking like death might be a welcome option .

The guy I saw yeasterday is still playing on my mind because he just looked so helpless and resigned to being ignored, and left alone to slowly freeze to death

He was only about 20/21

Like Mrs TP I've worked (on a voluntary basis) for a homeless womens hostel.

It is true that a nice sleeping bag or jacket will quite probably be nicked very quickly or sold but not necessarily.

There is a hardcore group of homeless people who just can't be helped by any except the crisis shelters because they have become unable to live within any stable environment. For a number of reasons including mental health problems and addiction problems.

Not all homeless charities waste loads of money on admin and there is always some admin because you can't run a professional charity effectively without some.

Our hostel made a point of providing a key worker to every resident with the aim of helping them solve whatever problem made them homeless in the first place - perhaps you would turn your nose up at that "admin" cost but it was more effective than buying a coat.

I never gave money to homeless people and lots of friends thought that was shocking given my involvement with the charity - I did buy the BIg Issue but otherwise I gave my time which was a lot more valuable and a token monthly direct debit as well.

OP, homelessness is an incredibly difficult problem to solve. I worked with a lawyer who did benefit advice for a homeless charity. He would have appointments in his diary to advise people all day and a lot of the time, no-one would turn up. I guess there are a ton of reasons for that.

there are several emergency night shelters in Edinburgh this is one www.bethanychristiantrust.com/?p=4609&preview=true

In Reading my part of Berkshire, there are beggars who are there professionally. I ignore them because I have seen some who drove off in big cars after their stint. There are usually men who try to sell The Big Issue and are polite so I would prefer to help them.

I took my late DH's clothes to a local drop-in centre for homeless in the hope that some of them might be used for unlikely job interviews. It was CIRDIC (Churches in Reading Drop in Centre). There might be a similar one near you and they would appreciate anything.

And there's always the Salvation Army as well.

RuleBRitannia - we did provide clothes for women to go to interviews so don;t assume they won't be used, or to go to family events/funerals and sometimes just looking nice and normal is good for people too.

I have got a few replies that have made me sit down and think .

If you assked me yeaterday if Charities could help and make a difference I'd have said no

However I reconsidering as a few here seem to be involved and with the things I'd like to be be involved with too

Not to be a do-gooder but sometimes life really really sucks and if your sitting with nothing but a sodden blanket for a coat .......tell me how to help you

Some beggars have been trafficked into the country by organised gangs.

not the man I saw in princes street yesterday though expatinscotlnd

He was all of 20/21 and frozen to the bone

what a star u r! he shouldve lent u the money, was is it to him wether u spend ur money on a sleeping bag? its horrible to see anyone in a situation like that. it breaks ur heart that for whatever reason, some people are having a crap time. Im a firm believer in helping when and where u can. ive done the same thing....although i only lived round the corner so went and grabbed a sleeping bag mac and blankets. made the guys day. ive been known to see someone on the street on the way home...and peg it home, make a bacon sarnie and a thermos up n pop it back. it dusnt take much on my part at all.....but think how much such a simple thing can mean?!?!?! could you go back and try and find him? just see if hes still there? :)

Hi Cockadoodledooo I am in Devon, is the charity you mentioned above anywhere near me? I have lots of time on my hands at the moment and would love to do something to help.

I used to buy a local beggar a large hot chocolate with marshmallows from Costa every Saturday when I lived in London. She was about 16, had a crippled leg. I still think about her.

Surely you had £1 on you to nip into the poundshop and get him an umbrella if he was sodden?

They're easy to fold and carry and might keep him dry next time.

YABU. You can do what you like with your own money, but you can't demand other people lend you cash to fund your charitable donations. That is ridiculous.

Personally I'd prefer to donate to a registered charity than give directly to street beggars. That's a personal decision and there are arguments for both points of view, I know. I do think sometimes by handing over money (or even buying stuff) you may be enabling and perpetuating the situation, and so not really helping as much as you think you are long-term.

Again, though, you can do what you like with your money.

Well in the shelter I worked in we had seen 1000 people in the course of a year. So, if he was the 1001st one, we wouldn't had had space and resources. Also, very active MH when people don't want to take meds can be a barrier. Active, dangerous drug use or alcohol use is difficult since workers don't want to have to deal with a dead body. I had the same man OD three times in three nights and had to refuse him service on the fourth because he would have died the third night had I not stopped him aspirating vomit. We give people the option of hospital/police (including cab fare) but they have to use.

Don't think you can help unless you have skills. They are people living in homeless shelters who have PhDs and have run million pound businesses. Help if you want to do something the shelter needs; cook; counsel; mentor; whatever. If you have no useful skills, give food, clothes and money.

And, I second what TirednessKills says. Don't blame the charities for the new homeless people on the streets. We bloody solved this issue from the late 1980s onwards. Government policy is and will continue to put old, young, poor, disabled people on the streets. Women fleeing abuse, refugees... Expect to see all these people sleeping rough soon. Remember the 1980s? Well look forward to a young person asleep in every doorway again.

If you want to help homeless people but not just give money to the charities, ring your local charity and ask them what you can do.

One small and simple thing, for example, is providing parcels.

Our local homeless charity collects parcels, so that everyone who comes to the hostel gets a parcel with clean (warm) socks and underwear, a hat/gloves and something nice to eat (a packet of biscuits or chocolate). It isn't expensive, individually, but it adds up when the charity have to provide them.

thank you MaryZed ......

I'll do that

what about the people who will never go to a hostel though ......beacause it's scary and just puts them back in the system?

Here all the charities have volunteers who go around with vans handing out food and parcels to the people who are afraid to come to the hostels.

There are quite a few regular people begging in Edinburgh, a guy usually sits when u come up the ramp from train station. Guy with 2 dogs who has a few different spots in Princes Street.

I genuinely don't understand though why they sit in the absolute pissing rain, soaked to the skin, like someone above said, an umbrella would keep them dry. There are sheltered places to sit as well.

I have bought people a cuppa & a sandwich before.