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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with my son's GF

30 replies

mamabearcomingouttoplay · 18/10/2012 14:14

Well she's his ex GF now.

He did something she didn't approve of (smoked a bit of weed on a college trip, he assures me it was a one off and I believe him) and to punish him she decided to stop taking the pill - when they were together she would fake taking it then spit it out! She did this for two months but thankfully didn't get pregnant. She had done something previously that meant he didn't fully trust her but thought they were trying to rebuild their relationship. He now doesn't trust her at all and has decided to end it.

I'm not unreasonable to be angry about it am I???

OP posts:
OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 18/10/2012 14:15

She faked taking the pill to get back at him is she nuts?!

Hope she remains ex!

WitchesWreakinHavoc · 18/10/2012 14:16

I would be furious! sounds like a very selfish child like thing to do.
How old is she?

Titsalinabumsquash · 18/10/2012 14:16

Gosh, she sounds far too immature to be having sex at all if she's willing to do something like that, is your son also using condoms? If not I'd advise an STI check ASAP and be thankful that she's an ex.

pictish · 18/10/2012 14:16

She sounds like a nutcase so yanbu - however, don't kid yourself your son's smoking weed is a one off. It won't be.

SouthernComforts · 18/10/2012 14:17

She decided to punish her boyfriend for taking drugs by getting pregnant? It sounds like a very immature relationship, they are probably better off apart.

Not sure why you are so involved though? I'm assuming your son is an adult?

StuntGirl · 18/10/2012 14:17

Christ. And if she'd gottn pregnant and been stuck with a weed smoking baby daddy for the rest of her life that would get him back how? Mental.

Hullygully · 18/10/2012 14:18

Erm.....

I.......

Nope.....no words happening

WelshMaenad · 18/10/2012 14:18

Fuck me, what a silly bitch.

Girls this ridiculous should have a temporary tattoo someone conspicuous. One that fades after about five years, by which time they'll have hopefully grown up a bit, but which serves as a warning to the crazy within in the meantime.

That said, maybe a lesson to your son that as a double precaution AND protection against STDs, condoms are a must even if a girl is on hormonal contraception.

2blessed · 18/10/2012 14:18

Wow! That's serious immaturity. Good for your son ending the relationship, doesn't sound like a trust worthy person at all.

picnicbasketcase · 18/10/2012 14:18

She didn't approve of him smoking weed so tried to punish him by getting pregnant? Confused She sounds nuts.

OscarPistoriusGirlfriend · 18/10/2012 14:19

YANBU! She's sounds like she has serious issues!

I'd just question your son a bit more about the weed, but certainly not assume he's an habitual user. I smoked a bit of weed in my dim and distant youth on the odd occasion .

WiseKneeHair · 18/10/2012 14:20

She had done something previously that meant he didn't fully trust her

I hope he was using a condom.

helpyourself · 18/10/2012 14:21

Why are you angry?
They both sound too immature to be dating; I'd be relieved.

beachyhead · 18/10/2012 14:21

She's not the brightest light in the disco, is she!

Well shot of her, both you and your DS, although how you got so involved, I'm not sure.

5madthings · 18/10/2012 14:23

she sounds crazy, but your son should still be using condoms even if she is on the pill, that way he is being responsible himself for contraception and against stds etc.

MadameCastafiore · 18/10/2012 14:23

SHe did wrong but is obviously young and immature and thankfully the relationship is over. Maybe you could just speak to him about being more serious about taking responsibility for himself by using a condom in future rather than leaving it up to his girlfriends and whilst you're at it tell him the dangers of smoking weed - it's hardly ever the case that is was just a little bit and the first time - maybe she knew he did it more than he admitted to you and he had promised not to do it again. I am not saying that what she did wasn't foolhardy but you only have one side of the story and seem to be looking at the situation from the point of view of you being his mother - we are all biased when it comes to our children but I think it pays to sometimes not jump into thinking that our precious little darlings are always the ones who are blameless.

quoteunquote · 18/10/2012 14:24

Buy him a massive packet of condoms and tell him to make sure he takes responsibility for his protection, it sounds like he has learnt a valuable lesson.

I hope that this girl/woman gets some much needed advice as to conduct her life, she is heading towards disaster unless she finds a better way to manage her choices.

helpyourself · 18/10/2012 14:24

How old are they?

WinkyWinkola · 18/10/2012 14:24

I'd be pretty angry too if my ds's gf was tricking him into becoming a father. In fact, I'd be pretty angry if anyone did that to my friends too.

However, I would keep my trap shut and keep out of it apart from offer him support over the break up.

The girl is a loon. A lucky escape.

CailinDana · 18/10/2012 14:26

Tell your DS that it's a lesson learned - condoms from now on. And lay off the weed, it's foul stuff.

AThingInYourLife · 18/10/2012 14:29

At his age he is just as crazy as she is if he is having sex and not using condoms.

People lie. People forget to take pills.

You know if you have a condom on your penis.

Original poster
mamabearcomingouttoplay · 18/10/2012 14:31

He does use condoms aswell, which I assume is why she didn't get pregnant - I know he does because I get them from a friend of mine who is a youth worker and if he's not using them as contraceptives then he's making a hell of a lot of balloon animals Grin I do believe him about the weed being a one off, he's very open with me, we talked about it, he admitted he didn't like it and didn't plan to do it again. I do think he's better off staying well away from her and while I haven't and won't bad mouth her I will offer support to him. We chatted this morning and I told him I thought her behaviour in that instance was very immature and he said she'd gone too far now and he really didn't trust her.

OP posts:
Corygal · 18/10/2012 14:32

Are you Bill Clinton's mother? Of course I forgot, no one ever smokes weed twice.

I hope this isn't unhelpful, but I'd be more worried about having a kid whose stoner ways are causing stress in relationships at a very young age than I would about a loopy teenage girl - why wasn't he using condoms?

Inertia · 18/10/2012 14:32

Clearly there's no way he should stay with someone who actively lies about contraception. Can understand why you're angry, but now they've split up it won't help to get angry.

However, he needs to take responsibility too. He should be using condoms. Hope you've also had that conversation with him, rather than taking the viewpoint that only the woman is responsible for contraception.

Inertia · 18/10/2012 14:33

Ah, cross posts.

Well, it sounds as though all's well that ends well then. It's good that you have a relationship where you can discuss issues like this- and it doesn't sound as though the GF is mature enough to cope with a serious relationship.