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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About online dating on POF?

31 replies

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:21

Hi, I have been seeing a guy I met online. Been on a few dates, quite intense really.
Said we like each other.
He said he's never met anyone online before etc and thinks I'm lovely. Seems vvvv genuine.
I however, have hidden my profile from view now.
I keep checking to see If he has his, and he hasnt and is online now.
AIBU to think he shouldn't be online or am I jumping the gun?

OP posts:
MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:32

Bump

OP posts:
FredFredGeorge · 18/10/2012 13:34

I think you're jumping the gun. And a little bit obsessive with the checking.

missymoomoomee · 18/10/2012 13:36

Won't he also see you are online? I think you need to chill out a little, you sound a little obsessed tbh.

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:36

I am thinking I am too Confused Ive just been very hurt previously

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 18/10/2012 13:38

You're jumping the gun

Until you have the conversation about exclusively seeing each other/being in a relationship, he could still be dating other women freely.

Don't hide your profile until he has.

By the way hiding your profile on PoF means it's just excluded from searches. if he has a link to yours he will see that you are online if he happens to look and your profile will still be there when you are offline if he has a link. Which presumably he will have from your inbox

Inneedofbrandy · 18/10/2012 13:38

I think you need to concentrate on you and not him. Have a read of the rules maybe?

missymoomoomee · 18/10/2012 13:39

Your previous relationships aren't his fault though. You can't punish him for things someone else did. If you are checking up at this early stage then it won't get better, it will only get worse and you will be miserable anyway.

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:39

What rules? Confused

OP posts:
Inneedofbrandy · 18/10/2012 13:42

Google the rules book. Quite a lot is shite, but it's basically saying concentrate on you do things for you and don't obsess over a man because there's always another one! So theres "rules" like don't Go out on a weeken date if he hasn't arrange it by Wednesday. It's about putting yourself first!

Inneedofbrandy · 18/10/2012 13:43

I've missed a few ds of Blush

StuntGirl · 18/10/2012 13:43

Oh my god did somebody just recommend the rules in all seriousness? Don't even go there OP. Just learn to chill and take things as they come. Perhaps have a chat with him about where he sees your relationship going if you're at all concerned. Communication is the only rule you really need to know.

Inneedofbrandy · 18/10/2012 13:45

I think the rules has a point IMO.

ShirleyRots · 18/10/2012 13:45

Don't read The Rules. It's unbelievably shite.

POF is a dating site, so please unhide your profile and carry on dating!

katykuns · 18/10/2012 13:48

Shop around until you can commit to a solid purchase...
Grin

missymoomoomee · 18/10/2012 13:49

I just googled the rules, and I have never been so grateful to be happily married, do people really follow all this nonsense? Only reply to one in 4 emails, go to parties even if you don't want to, he must visit 3 times before you visit him..... Hmm

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:53

I've unhid. The rules sounds pretty hard to me, a bit gamey?

OP posts:
elastamum · 18/10/2012 13:55

IME if someone is serious about you they will not continue to date other people as they dont want to. I did a lot of internet dating and I met my DP on a dating site Grin

ShirleyRots · 18/10/2012 13:58

It's manipulative arse MoreFish. Grin

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 13:59
Grin elsata there's hope for me! May I ask do you tell people that's how you met?
OP posts:
Fairylea · 18/10/2012 14:04

If he's the right one for you you will know. I'm not sure if he is if you are obviously falling for him and he's keeping his options open. Ideally you want someone as totally keen as you even if by others standards that's a bit full on. There's someone for everyone !!

I met my dh on pof after two failed marriages. He is perfect for me and we have been together 4 years now. We havea 4 mo ds and he also treats my dd aged 9 as his own and she loves him to bits.

It does happen !

However I would just have an open mind but not necessarily an open heart.. I met some weirdos before dh believe me !!!

MoreFish · 18/10/2012 14:19

Thank you fairylea Smile

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 18/10/2012 14:26

How long have you been dating?

wineandroses · 18/10/2012 14:49

What does POF stand for?

SoleSource · 18/10/2012 14:52

POF doesn't have a very good reputation. Be careful, unhide your profile shop around :)

SoleSource · 18/10/2012 14:53

Pkenty Of Fish

www.plentyoffish.com

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