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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have sobbed my heart out at work today because I shouldn't have to do this

484 replies

caniscantanymore · 17/10/2012 20:53

I'm a vet. Some details changed or omitted for anonymity purposes and because I'll get flamed for this.

Today a man brought his dog in to me.

The dog was a large, boisterous adolescent puppy. He hurtled into the room, bouncing up to me excitedly, wagging his tail all the time and nudging at my hand with his muzzle. His big squishy paws crashed against my chest each time he paused to greet me, as he bounded around the room investigating all the smells. He was an unusual cross, very striking to look at and obviously a bright and energetic dog. He was adorable.

The history went like this:

The dog had been bought as a tiny puppy by a couple who were told it was a "designer" cross between two specific small breeds. Now, if the people who bought this puppy had had the slightest inkling about what they were doing it would have been immediately obvious to them that this was most certainly not a cross between two small breeds. But anyway, they didn't have a clue so they bought the cute little puppy from this dubious source (probably at a cost of several hundred pounds) and took it back to their family home, complete with toddler.

The dog grew a bit and it became clear that it was actually going to be really big. It was bouncy, energetic and destructive. It kept racing around and knocking over their small child. So they rehomed it to a family member.

The family member also had children but they were slightly bigger children. The family member really wanted to do the right thing, so they tried to "discipline" the dog. The dog began to show occasional signs of aggression and was completely hyperactive in the home, destructive and unmanageable. I was not surprised to hear this, since it was obvious to me from this dog's heritage that it was the sort of dog which had significant needs in terms of exercise and stimulation. In an attempt to magically resolve the issues the family member had the dog neutered. Which unsurprisingly made no difference.

Today the dog was brought in to be put to sleep. It had growled very aggressively when a child had put its face near his, and between this and an imminent change in circumstances the family member felt unable to manage the dog any more. He had tried local and national rescue organisations, all of which were full. He had nobody to care for the dog overnight tonight. He was not able to take the dog home, partly because of safety concerns and partly because the decision had been taken together as a family that it was the right thing to do.

So I put this healthy, affectionate, vibrant dog to sleep while it munched on treats and the third owner in its short life cried into his fur. Then when it was just me and the body of this poor puppy I had a good old cry myself.

I know there will be people who think I was right to put down a dog who has shown any signs of aggression under any circumstances. I disagree.

I know there will be people who think I was wrong to put down a dog when I could have taken it and found it a new home. I disagree.

I also know that there will be many many people who have no idea that this is happening all the time in this country because of irresponsible ignorant greedy people, selling dogs to irresponsible ignorant feckless people, who then pass them on to naive and thoughtless "rescuers" who eventually get to the end of their tether and bring them to me for euthanasia. All the time.

These are the dogs who bite children in the home due to a total lack of knowledge, reasonable expectations and effort to socialise them adequately.

These are the dogs whose owners can afford four figure sums to buy the latest random mongrel "breed" with a stupid made-up name, but cannot afford fifty quid to get it vaccinated, far less any money at all to treat even minor illnesses.

These are the dogs who clog up rescue centres all over the country, waiting along with thousands and thousands of others for the home with no children, no other pets and eight-foot fences, with an owner who has experience of managing behavioural problems, works from home, has stainless steel furniture and can write blank cheques to pay for the inherited illnesses the dog suffers from. Homes which don't actually exist.

These are the dogs who I have to put down because I know that it is more responsible of me to painlessly take their life than to condemn them to wait with the rest of the enormous population of "difficult" dogs sitting in rescue kennels all over the country.

Please, please, I implore you. Get advice before you take on a dog - from a vet, a qualified positive behaviourist, the Kennel Club, the Blue Cross, the Dog's Trust, the RSPCA - the information is there for the taking, there is no excuse. Go to a decent breeder, who has a waiting list, or a rescue centre which really grills you thoroughly before matching you with a pet. Find out how to bring your puppies up properly so if you do find your circumstances change then at least they are rehomable. Make sure you can afford to pay for the unexpected. Make sure your expectations are fair.

Please, because I can't keep having to do this :(

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 18/10/2012 14:51

I always wanted to be a vet, until I learnt this would be part of the job, then I realised I couldn't do it.

It's not fair that vets are expected to do this. I know some don't. Some do as I said earlier and keep the dog in the 'back room' until later, upon which rescue space is sought. Some even have a list of short term foster homes they can use or direct contacts within rescues.

I still don't think you can or should place the blame on the vets themselves. They did not go into the profession because they don't care. In many cases their hands are tied by their employers.

Plus by blaming the vets you are taking away the emphasis from where it should be: The breeders who sold the puppy under false pretenses just to make a quick buck; The first owners who bought the puppy without doing their homework and then did nothing to train it; The second home who 'rescued' the puppy and then allowed their toddler to torment and still did not seek behavioural help or attend training.

HoneyDragon · 18/10/2012 14:53

That's why I am in favour rather than against the ops actions.

However. I don't think it should have to be down to the vet in these cases because it's not bloody fair on them! Why should they have to be in that position?

The op had to decide there and then. Perhaps a different vet would have had the provisions to assess the dog and find a rescue centre but I doubt it very much.

Like I said it's a fucked up situation.

HoneyDragon · 18/10/2012 15:01

And if that comment was aimed at me Piglet, I think all my post indicate I don't think it's done "for kicks".

And also my friend thinks if people were responsible for their pets, than she would still have her dd.

Polyethyl · 18/10/2012 15:03

Posts like these only add to my nervousness. I'm a siamese cat lover, but I don't have one, because I live in a London flat and work full time. My husband wants a Labrador - one day - and I Just don't know one could possibly be happy with us. I certainly am concerned that if we ever tried it, our experience would be as unsuccessful as these people were.

Jins · 18/10/2012 15:06

Honeydragon :(

pigletmania · 18/10/2012 15:07

No honey it was flatbread sorry Smile

achillea · 18/10/2012 15:08

I've been thinking about this today and I do think that easy euthanasia will be encouraging a lazy attitude to dog ownership. But rehoming does a similar thing - people know that they can just hand them back when the going gets tough.

I think if you decide you can't cope with a dog there should be rehoming options but people should have to pay 'dog mainenance' as they do with children, until the dog is safe enough to be rehomed.

But in the real world, there just needs to be a lot more education and more incentive for attneding dog training classes.

theodorakis · 18/10/2012 15:30

Anything that takes the responsibility away from the owner could be seen as encouraging. What's the alternative though? Anyone who gives up their dog gets 50 lashes?

achillea · 18/10/2012 15:58

Exactly theo, there is not much of an alternative but when I was young this didn't happen. I think an age limit of 21 to own a dog or walk a dog on your own would also help. So many people buy dogs for their teenagers and kids, they walk them for a week and then give up.

Making kids feel safer on the streets would also help. Most of these young people buy them for protection - same reason as they carry knives. Not right in this day and age.

Alleviating the problem of young people owning dogs would make space in the rehoming centres for the dogs where there is a genuine reason to rehome, (such as a problem relating to children).

Jins · 18/10/2012 16:06

Seriously? An age limit of 21 to walk a dog on your own?

My DSs have been walking our dogs alone since they were 11 or so. It's been a huge part of growing up and gaining responsibility. DS1 (18) still walks 'his' dog every night.

The vast majority of people are sensible responsible dog owners. A small minority are thoughtless, selfish, horrible people

theodorakis · 18/10/2012 16:24

I couldn't manage without my young slaves to do the walking but I wouldn't allow them to walk a dog who wasn't safe.

If it's your Yorkie who gets ripped to shreds in the park that minority number doesn't matter.

Blackballoon · 18/10/2012 16:30

I have been walking my family dog since I was 11. Taught me how to be a responsible dog owner.

QuietTiger · 18/10/2012 16:55

I think one of the massive problems is that people get pets without any thought as to the consequences of their actions and the level of work involved.

An example.

On Friday night, out of the blue, I had a phone call from a farmer friend asking if I wanted a 10 week old Welsh Sheep Dog out of working parents - mum is an International sheep trials champion, from fantastic lines, dad is a working sheep dog who is winning nursery trials. I said we'd have one. I picked him up on Sunday. This was a spur of the moment decision after me asking DH "can I have a puppy?". DH said yes.

Now, on that one paragraph, you'd think I was completely irresponsible. Getting a dog on the spur of the moment without researching the breed & its needs.

Honestly, I had actually forgotten how much work a pup is. It's like having a baby in the house - he needs constant supervision and clear boundaries. He's into everything and he's already, at 10 weeks, showing herding behaviour. He is as worky as hell, and it is a challenge. In the last 4 days, there have been a couple of times where I've wondered, What the hell have I done? Especially after last night when we had an explosion of puppy poo all over his crate.

Now in reality, I know EXACTLY what I am doing. All that has actually happened with DH & I, is that we have got a working sheep dog puppy 6 months earlier than we planned out of working lines that we've been waiting for a pup from. (We had planned for summer next year). I'm home all day (within reason) and DH is in and out of the house when I'm not here. Pup is going to be trained for a job (sheep work) because we are farmers, DH has had working collies all his life, we currently have 2 other collies (having lost one in January this year to old age) and I have back up advice through a specialist Border Collie rescue in an emergency, because of my links with the people who run it and my rescue work.

If I am finding it a "challenge" and I know what I am doing with my specific breed, compare that to Joe Bloggs who sees a BC puppy advertised on Gumtree for £150 and "thinks it's cute" so gets it. Knowing nothing about collie behaviour or it's needs, he takes it home for the kids. 6 months in, the collie is exhibiting normal collie behaviour - it's herding the kids & nipping them to make them move, which is what happens when collies are working sheep, they nip at the sheeps legs and bottoms to make them move. Nipping is part of a collies working instinct. It?s there. It?s instinct. BUT, because Joe Bloggs doesn't know what he is doing, that dog is labelled aggressive. "It BITES the children".

That person then wants to pass on responsibility & "get rid" of the dog. However, all rescues I know (and that's a lot), have a priority list. For e.g. The Rescue I work with most will take Pound dogs & dogs in immediate danger first, dogs with other rescues next (and before anyone comments on this, if a collie comes from an all breed rescue, it means a space is created in that rescue for another dog of what ever breed so creates a rescue space) and finally last of the list, owner surrenders. That happens in rescues ALL over the country. They have differing priorities, but they operate a priority list and some rescues cherry-pick, because they don't want to clog their spaces long term - it means that they can't help more animals.

There is NO rescue utopia. Certainly not for "dogs that bite children". "Aggressive Dogs" are on a one way ticket, simply because they clog rescue spaces. Remember that young collie who herded and bit the children earlier in my post? He was lucky he ended up at a breed rescue who understood his behaviour, but thousands don't.

Education is the absolute key. You'll still get the morons, but a LOT of people are just misinformed. Education can change that.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 18/10/2012 17:18

Education can change this, but we will still get the eejits who think that GSD/husky/Sharpei/SBT or whatever 'in' breed is around who buy/breed/sell all over the place unless some sort of legislation is in place and enforced properly - and even then it will be ricky.

I was out with a friend and between us we had a Duck Tolling Retriever, GSD, and a black lack and collie. He was walking a Sharpei, we said hi and he told us he had Sharpei pups to sell - if we knew of anyone to let him know! Angry

3 out of the 4 working dogs we have do obedience and agility - the only reason the other doesnt is because he is nearly 15 years old! I dont have dogs as a status symbol.

So now, somewhere near where I live there will be a whole bunch of dickheads with Sharpei pup because they look cute. AARRGH

LtEveDallas · 18/10/2012 17:18

QuietTiger, great post. My Mutt has collie in her and tries to 'herd' the local kids. We've had a couple of angry parents because of this, luckily we've been able to explain and show them, but as a result we no longer let her 'go out to play' with them (they used to call for her!) and now she satisfies her urges by herding our new rabbits! Great for getting them back into the hutch at night Smile

HoneyDragon · 18/10/2012 17:19

QuietTiger
Our current puppy ownership scenarios are almost identical.

Our Lab passed away unexpectedly on the Wednesday. Fate intervened with a rescue of Lab pups with the rescuer wanting experienced owners.

By Sunday I'd been home checked and had a puppy. Like babies, the stuff I'd forgotten was waaaaaay more than the stuff I remembered. Now I do adore her, and I knew this one would be work from what I'd been told, and she is.

If she had been my first dog I'd probably be thinking I was hopeless, she was hopeless and I should give her to someone who knows what they are doing.

However, I do know better. I know to post here and ask for advice from people who do know their stuff Grin

Education and support is the key, how many threads have we seen on here where the op is at their wits end with a young dog. Once they know they have some support and help is out there than suddenly it's not a huge mistake, and the lovely dream of a family dog is acheivable again.

Flatbread · 18/10/2012 17:22

It is absolute nonsense that vets don't have a responsibility to be judicious about killing dogs.

It is amusing to see the double standards and bullying alive in this thread though. I have no idea how my pups are relevant to this discussion. I considered private homes (not selling), talked to three dog organizations, visited their facilities, asked what vetting they do in selecting owners, proportion of returns, policy for any return dogs and then made my decision. Interesting too, that all three place had seperate sections for puppies (so not taking ip space in the normal kennel) and in all three these were almost empty, with a waiting list of potential owners. Each was keen that I choose them and I got multiple callbacks to urge me to give my pups to them.

But why let facts get in the way of a public bullying opportunity. Of course it is the done thing to personally attack, make unacceptable comments about my gorgeous, well behaved dogs. Try that in any other part of MN about people's children and you will get lynched. Bullying is not acceptable, except when it comes to dog-related topics.

It is unbelievable that you all think it is ok to kill dogs irresponsibly. Of course the vet is complicit. If a doctor aided selective abortion or anything else that harmed children, they would be a huge public outcry. But apparently if vets are willing to kill healthy dogs at the drop of a hat, if is all for the best. So much for rescues being full, eh?

You guys are seriously nuts and could care less if you agree with me. LtDallas is seriously unpleasant and if anyone finds that her comments are not personal attacks and constitute acceptable forum behaviour, then I am sorry you have no idea of how to behave on a forum.

It is also interesting that I am attacked for having puppies and homing them to caring families, without any payment. But people who are willing to kill young healthy dogs for payment are supported and encouraged. Glad I don't share your twisted values

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 18/10/2012 17:28

Oh give over Flatbread. If you think you're being bullied, report the relevant posts to MNHQ.

HoneyDragon · 18/10/2012 17:28

Flatbread

Can you link to the thread you are reading please?
I don't think you can e referring to this one?

Flatbread · 18/10/2012 17:39

And to finish the rant, it is in bad form to call people liars. I have no interest in lying, have no desire to meet most if you and have absolutely no interest in your life.

I think people who call others liars are themselves fibbers and hence see the world in that light.

Anyway, none of this will be of any help to the poor young dog who lost his life because noone could be arsed to help his cause.

If you know of any dogs who need rehoming, please do call around. Inspite of the chorus here that all rescues are full, you will find many that have space for a dog, especially a young, healthy one. Do not be apathetic and let them die, because it is easiest all for the 'best' Sad

LtEveDallas · 18/10/2012 17:42

No, it's bad form to lie.

pigletmania · 18/10/2012 17:43

Great post quiet, there is no puppy utopia. Those dogs that people like the op put down are probably those who are unhomeable that show signs f aggression, therefore more likely to languish I rescue centres being Pts anyway. So the dog that op ut wn would orobably bern unhomeable

D0oinMeCleanin · 18/10/2012 17:44

No-one is encouraging the killing of healthy dogs Flatbread. It is just not fair to blame individual vets. Blame the system as a whole by all means, but blaming OP is not on.

Whether you or I would have done the same thing is irrelevant. We were not there to make that choice and imo it is a choice that vets should not have to be held responsible for.

I'm not sure that there is a simple or easy answer to this. Of course having dogs pts for solvable behaviour issues is abhorrent, but if all vets refuse, where would that leave the dogs whose owners simply refuse to have them in the house any longer?

Rescue spaces unfortunately are hard to find. They are even harder to find once a dog has been given the label of being a 'problem dog'.

I'm not sure I'd welcome the alternative, unless there was a clear system in place to help these dogs and atm there is not.

I do fear that the dogs would be dumped or people would take the death of such dogs into their own hands.

NapaCab · 18/10/2012 17:45

There are too many dogs - that's the problem. Dog-owning is portrayed as a lifestyle choice that anyone can have when the reality is very different. It is almost like having a child or a baby in terms of the need to be home to take them for walks, train them and manage different breed needs. I thought about getting a dog while I was having trouble conceiving but once I asked a dog-owning and knowledgeable friend, I realised it was a hell of a lot more work than I imagined and put plans on hold for now.

Now I meet dog-owners all the time when I'm at the park, many of whom seem clueless about how to handle their dogs and I wonder why more people don't just do their research before getting a dog and take it more seriously.

pigletmania · 18/10/2012 17:46

Meant so the dog that op out down would orobably have been unhomeable