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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is being unreasonable here?

37 replies

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:25

My dh goes running twice a week. He has recently been working hard on increasing his distance and currently runs around 12km at each run - this is the furthest he has ever run. He has randomly decided to take the morning off work tomorrow and run a half marathon - not an official race, just go on his own to attempt the distance. I am very worried about this - he will be alone, we live relatively remotely and the route he has planned is along country roads, so he is not going to have people around him, he has done no specific training to gear up for it (just his 2 runs a week) - he basically has not prepared at all! I asked him about carb loading and he struggled, I asked him if he even had a drinking bottle to take with him and he said no (he doesn't take a drink with him usually)! I think he is being unreasonable! I have no problem with him tackling the distance, but I feel he should do it for the first time at official race, with medical help and people nearby, having done some specific training and preparation! He thinks I am being unreasonable and am spoiling his mindset by being negative!

OP posts:
3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:25

He is 35 and only really moderately fit btw. And we have 3dc.

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3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:26

He shrugged! Not struggled!

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SugariceAndScary · 17/10/2012 19:27

I'm with you OP, it sounds ill prepared in my opinion.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 17/10/2012 19:29

So he's going to go from running 7.5 miles often to 13 miles once.

He will be fine providing he has no health issues - it's only going to take him 80-90 minutes so get him to call you after.

My dh does this regularly and he doesn't take water either, you don't need it if you're already well hydrated. And you don't need to carb load beforehand, my dh runs this on an empty stomach as most runners do - it's bloody difficult to run on a full stomach.

Numberlock · 17/10/2012 19:29

You're not being unreasonable to be concerned for him but you would be unreasonable if you tried to stop him from doing it.

SarkyWench · 17/10/2012 19:31

Not an unreasonable step up in distance IMO.

nailak · 17/10/2012 19:32

how a bout treating him like an adult capable of making his own decisions?

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:32

Ok, I feel slightly better. I wouldn't stop him, although I'd rather he did a proper race than just went off on his own.

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RubyFakeNails · 17/10/2012 19:32

I think, as a runner, it does sound ill prepared but most likely, as when I first attempted longer distances, I ran out of steam and walked back until I could find the energy to jog again. I don't run in organised events because I don't like them, they're not for everybody.

I think its not really an issue as long as he takes his phone. He will probably just be sore and grumpy with copious blisters tomorrow evening or he will be thrilled with himself and still have copious blisters.

He's an adult.

spottybag · 17/10/2012 19:34

I think it's fine. If it's too long he's just going to stop and come home, surely?

RubyFakeNails · 17/10/2012 19:34

Also yeah I don't think its at all necessary for him to carb load, if he was going to do that he might of done it tonight, but I wouldn't say for that distance he needs to. I might have half a banana prior to that length of run.

Nancy66 · 17/10/2012 19:34

he'll be fine.

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:36

Ok, def feeling better now. He's not usually so impulsive so it's thrown me a bit!

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Doyouthinktheysaurus · 17/10/2012 19:38

A bit I'll prepared but he'll cope. He'll either run out of steam and give up or muddle through and come back knackered!

I run that distance once a week, on my own, often without fluids and I live to tell the tale. He's not likely to come to any real harm, running on country roads is fine really. I always wear high vis gear and run facing the traffic.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 17/10/2012 19:39

I toned down my dh's response as his face was like Confused and he said 'sure, it's a step up for him as a runner, but he can just stop and walk the last couple of miles can't he'? Grin

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 17/10/2012 19:39

I just have my usual a brekkie of toast and marmite before that distance run.

mum11970 · 17/10/2012 19:39

He regularly runs 12km and is reasonably fit so I don't see the problem. He won't need carb loading and a lot of runners find a bottle of water annoying to carry. If he can't manage to run the full 13 miles he can just slow down or walk.

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:41

Or call me to come and get him Grin

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3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 19:42

Ok, I'm laughing about it now! Didn't think AIBU would make me feel so much better so quickly! Normally it makes me cross!

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lljkk · 17/10/2012 19:53

He's an adult, let him get on with it.

3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 20:42

I am now doing him a surprise playlist! Any suggestions welcome! Thank you for the reassurance - I really needed it as I was worrying quite a bit! Feeling much better and confident that he has a good shot at it. He has just told me his planned route and he is going a different way to where I expected - into and around our nearest town, so he will have people around him for most of it, plus it is quite a flat route (his normal runs are very hilly). Phew!

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Trills · 17/10/2012 20:44

If he finds he can't manage it he'll just have to walk back, won't he?

RubyFakeNails · 17/10/2012 21:24

By running playlist is loads of garage and house by people I can't remember, however you have to use:

Keep on running by spencer matthews band,
the long and winding road by mccartney
run through the jungle by creedence clearwater
shoot the runner by kasabian
run by snow patrol
nowhere to run by martha and the vandellas
2000 miles by the pretenders
born to run by springsteen
ain't no stopping us now by mcfadden and someone I can't remember
eye of the tiger
don't stop me now
the rocky theme song?
the winner takes it all by abba

I can't think of any more, but you can buy running playlists from itunes and or just look at them online for inspiration.

RubyFakeNails · 17/10/2012 21:24

*My running playlist.

FredFredGeorge · 17/10/2012 21:37

LFCisTarkaDahl 80-90 minutes impressive faith you have in the OP's DH! I suspect it'll take a bit longer than that.

But yes, he'll be fine - he might be cold on the walk home when he screws it up, but I actually expect he'll be fine - 12km runs twice a week is quite a lot of training for quite a lot of half marathoners.

You should probably encourage him to add a couple of short runs to the week too rather than just 2 long runs - he'll likely improve faster.

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