To ask if you would let your let your DD almost 13 go to an under 18 night at local nightclub

[scattermummy]

DD is 13 in January,she wants to go to an under 18 night at liquid in Newcastle with her friends.
I said no chance to her.
She says all her friends are allowed.I think she is too young.

However,I was brought up by strict parents and remember not being able to do stuff and by the time I was 15 ,I would just lie about where I was.

I had a friend who was allowed to do what she liked and I would go there and we would go clubbing and go back to her house.

Part of me thinks that if I don't want her to lie in future,maybe I should let her go and teach her to be open.

We could pick her up and take her,but I cant help feeling like it is a slippery slope and that she is only 12.

I'd let my DD go to one in our local town but not in the large city nearby. She is just 13 and I remember all too clearly what I was like at that age. and I had extremely strict parents and I never told them anything at all, and lied till I was black in the face!

Yep I would! I went to those under 18's at liquid (6/7 years ago!) and they're really really safe. It's good too because once she is 18 and old enough to go to town properly, she's got a much better idea of how it works and how to stay safe.

Now MAXIMES under 18's was a different story...

And they're extremely strict with alcohol. One whiff and you're not getting in. And they will breathalize.

I have very happy memories of the local nightclub's under 18 night every Monday. It was a small town location, rather than a city centre, not sure if that makes a difference though.

I was always dropped off and picked up at the door.

So, I would let her go, but I would be dropping off and picking up.

I allowed my DD to go at 13. They are well staffed, making sure no drink allowed etc. As long as she was going with friends, was dropped off and picked up and has a mobile with credit, I would say she would be fine. Believe me, when they get to 15/16 +, they don't want to hang around with 13 year olds so you will probably find the age is more like 13-15 year olds.

My dad owns a nightclub in town and a promotor booked it to do an under 18s function. My dad pulled the plug on the day of the event when the promoter said something dodgy and creepy to him (or a doorman, can't remember exactly) about the 14 year olds having plenty of flesh on show.

My dad heard afterwards that this guy was totally dodgy. No record against him, but the rumour was he took minibusses of underage girls to music festivals. With the parents being lied to about other parents being there.

The rumour was this guy also apparently liked to boast about his antics and show round pics of semi-naked underagers. The police are aware of him.

What I'm saying is no fecking way will my DDs go to under-18 clubs, you just don't know who the people are that are running them.

The Liquid events are ran by Liquid though, as far as I know. So the owner of the clubs are responsible for the events.

It is worth double checking.

Are all the staff working on these events CRB checked?

I used to go to under 18 nights from the age of about 12...one set of parents would drop us off and another lot collect. We were allowed to go and had curfew time so never took advantage as didnt want to lose the privilidge of going out. Most people were under 16 as anyone 16+ used to try and get into over 18's instead! It was good, harmless fun, a bit of dancing and snogging but that was the worst it got.

No definitely not, for all the reasons that have already been stated.

I have to say when I was her age I lied to Father McAbe at our local church hall and got a pass to the Sunday night disco

My DS has recently gone to one of these but he is nearly 15, there's a chain of them called Oceana.

He was also picked up and dropped off by a parent.

They are very very strict in these places regarding alcohol etc.

I do however think she's still a bit young OP. Like you said, all in good time (keep them as young as possible for as long as possible these days)

There won't be any 18 year olds there though, I can guarantee it. It's the sort of thing that becomes deeply naff by the time you are about 14, certainly 15.

I wouldn't feel bad about saying no if the age limit is thirteen, but I'd let her go if a family member could drop off and pick up.

I did let dd1 go to one a couple of times aged 13 or 14, but she lost interest quickly. She hadn't asked me earlier, but then I suppose her friends weren't clamouring to go then either. At that age they are surgically attached to their mates.

NO!!!

under 18 nights have more drugs etc and more predators than going to an over 18s club when you're under 18.

I worked in a bar that did under 18 nights, they were VILE and very difficult to police, our own bouncers couldn't handle it and had to outsourse, much more drug dealers and older men turning up! lots of sex around the dance floor etc

was the same in "my day", MY GOD the stories from friends who went to teen discos , I was allowed to go to over 18 ones from 13 if I could get in as were the children of all the parents who were "in the know" (social workers, mental health workers, police, front line nursing, sexual health workers, drug workers etc) as its by far a safer option

To be fair, it depends on the club. The ones round here certainly weren't like that- not remotely.

I'd let her go, I used to go to one in a club and it was no different to the discos at a local hall, there were bouncers on the door and no alcohol served.

I'd much rather know where she was and that she was supervised than going to a friends house party or walking the streets. I had more alcohol at friends houses when the parents were out.

You could always ring the club and ask any questions beforehand.

on a slightly different note I used to go clubbing at 13/14 and pretend to my mum that it was an under 18's night. She bought it for years............beware of your daughters people

My DDs are now 18 and 21 but I did let them go to events like this from the age of 13.

They are usually very well run, the clubs can't chance any underage drinking/fighting etc or they would lose their licence. At ours the road around the club was closed for drop off and pick up, so that all the DC could easily find their parents and they weren't running in and out of cars. There were also lots of police there so anyone whose parents didn't arrive for some reason were safe. They ran from about 8 until 10 so they were well over before the "grown ups" arrived at the club.

My DDs only went about 3 times then got bored and thought they were "babyish" so at least they got it out of their system.

Gosh I didn't know such events existed.

I don't like the idea much, certainly not for 12yr olds. Nightclubs are pretty grubby seedy sort of places generally, and although there may not be any drink, it kind of seems like 'playing' at that 'out on the town getting lashed' mentality that I wouldn't want to encourage or normalise.

Why do 12yr olds need to pretend to be 18yr olds? Why can't they just do 12yr old stuff? - school disco, pizza but, sleepovers?

Id say 'no, don't rush to grow up therell be lots of time for all that soon enough'.

Is this mainly a girl thing? I suspect it majorly attracts girls, and that would worry me too. Nightclubs are often where girls put themselves on display to attract the boys. Not something I'd want to to be starting any younger than it already is, or even playing at doing.

"Is this mainly a girl thing? I suspect it majorly attracts girls"

yeah it was mostly young girls, and close to 18 boys (over 18 men too if they could get in, couldn't at the one where I worked but they certainly tried!)

they can be pretty targetted by the wrong sort