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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this friend is weird?

63 replies

Iodine · 15/10/2012 13:10

Yesterday we went for a 8 mile walk with a group of friends and afterwards a couple invited everyone around for a takeaway. They told us to come around at 8 to give everyone a chance to shower and warm up.

At 10 to 8 we got a call asking of we were still coming and telling us to hurry up- we could've been there much sooner but were hanging around till 8 to let them get ready.

When we arrived they had already listed the food they wanted us all to order. 5 dishes for 8 people (4 big men who eat a lot!). I persuaded them to put another dish on as it was no way enough but caught the wife having a huge rant at her husband as it would put the price up (about 50p per person) and she didn't want to pay. They are by no means hard up. Both have v. good jobs and are off on a 2 week safari next month.

When the chinese said it would be a long wait she had a massive rant that we should have ordered sooner- we ordered it as soon as we had walked in the door at 8!!!

She also made a HUGE deal about saying that she doesn't eat much and therefore we wouldn't need much food. When the takeaway arrived she hogged the best dish, eating pretty much all of it and generously helped herself while everyone else awkwardly took tiny amounts. She said she thinks any leftovers are just waste (in my house we just eat any the next day for lunch) as they just throw them away. We all would've happily taken them home!

We have had big ishoos with her and money in the past. She is happy to spend huge amounts of money on herself but is very penny pinching in group situations. She once invited us to the cinema, arrived half an hour earlier than planned and then refused to help us out (seats get allocated so we wouldn't have been able to sit together) by buying us tickets. We had the money to pay her back on arrival.

OP posts:

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights · 15/10/2012 18:05

God I don't do sharing with takeaway. Never got why it's a "thing"

Like "Oh the food is foreign....we have to share!"

HeadlessForHalloween · 15/10/2012 18:10

Whenever we have friends over and we get takeaway we all order our own meals. You get what you like then! I'm not tight, I'll let someone try mine, so long as I get the lions share of my dish

YANBU she is weeeeiiirrd.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 15/10/2012 18:46

Weird and extremely rude. I'm surprised that nobody insisted on ordering their own food, as odd as she is, it's just as bizarre for a group of 'friends' to let someone dominate the groups food order knowing that it will lead to most people going hungry.

IneedAsockamnesty · 15/10/2012 19:48

yanbu, its weird and very uparsey rude behaviour.

my best friend and i have a takeaway night every so often and because i luffs her i do i always let her pick what we order i demand we order way more than we need and have to add a weird banana thing that we both profess to hate but i know she secretly loves, i get to pay for it and she gets to take all leftovers home because shes the guest.

she trys to put something towards it but i wont let her because shes skint but she always comes to me despite her having to pay a sitter and i know thats a expense for her and i really enjoy the time we get togather,and am so grateful to her for always being willing to come to me because a sitter for her costs about £15 but for me would be about £200 (i need at least 4 sn experanced ones or if im really lucky and my dd is here i only need 2) so the way i see it me feeding her that night and the next day is more than fair given her contribution towards the event

TessCorpseDissect · 15/10/2012 20:05

TBH she sounds a bit bonkers but I still can't see how she managed to control the other 7 people there. I know you were trying to be polite and fit in but why did nobody else say anything?

I hate being hungry. One of the worse nights out I had was at a Tapas restaurant with a group of colleagues. I may only be small but I like my food and I could have polished off all the dishes myself. I think I filled up on baskets of bread

sooperdooper · 15/10/2012 20:17

She's a weirdo, but I've have just said, 'no problem I'll order my own' and left it at that, can't undertand why nobody else said something along those lines?

digerd · 15/10/2012 20:22

Bluntly, she is selfish and a bully, why do people put up with her? I don't know why she is not told to get lost. And I know of no man who would put up with bullying so blatently from a woman.

Original poster

Iodine · 15/10/2012 20:30

Digerd- I think her husband puts up with it for a quiet life.

OP posts:

thixotropic · 15/10/2012 20:32

This is an added bonus of being a chilli head.

I usually order something freakishly spicy, with extra chilli if I think there are going to be sharers present.

Disclaimer * I don't always eat overspiced food, but it is such a good way of not sharing.

DeepPurple · 15/10/2012 20:38

How strange! I had a takeaway night once where every couple knew they would be paying their share. We ordered a dish each and enough rice, noodles and crackers to feed an army. We each tucked in to our own first then tried some of each others. That's how it's meant to be isn't it? One dish is meant to be a portion so under ordering means it's less than a meal!

I'm an over caterer too. Although a lot of the time there isn't anything left by the end of the evening! And if there is one of my friends is a human dustbin and loves to take it home with him!

solidgoldbrass · 15/10/2012 20:47

If the others in the group have all known each other for ages they are probably so used to this woman's tiresomeness that they just shrug and let her get on with it. People you have known for a long time sometimes get more and more awful but you tend to remember their good points and are therefore reluctant to bin them.

But she's not your uni friend so it would probably be best to start looking for some new friends of your own. GOod luck.

Anniegetyourgun · 15/10/2012 21:02

Some people are well off for the very reason that they don't believe in spending on anyone else (and the worst ones get someone else to pay for them whenever they can swing it).

Kalisi · 15/10/2012 23:10

Yup, exactly as proud said. She certainly sounds very odd! If you like hanging around with them then it's probably not a good idea to just stop but atleast you know what she is like now so there is no need for feigned politeness. Order your own food from now on, arrive when you say you will and tell them to order without you if they need to. Aleays pay for exactly your share etc etc. When you start being petty around petty people it stops bothering you so much. Save your carefree generous nature for those who deserve it :)

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