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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

was this a bit hysterical?

44 replies

YerMaw1989 · 14/10/2012 23:47

we were out to dinner the other day and my DM was watching toddler DS who had finished eating and was a bit bored/restless.
He wandered off into the gents and my DM went grabbed him fair enough, she came back saying 'that was a close one' and said 'Ooh I'm not comfortable with little boys going into the gents room' my DP asked why and she made an incredulous noise.

I said 'in the three seconds he was in there what do think would have happened?' AIBU in thinking this is a but hysterical I mean at some point my DS will have to go in alone to the gents.

OP posts:
Mosman · 14/10/2012 23:49

He will of course, but not until he is about ten years old and able to raise the alarm hopefully before anything untoward happens.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 14/10/2012 23:50

Well to me I would grab a toddler heading for the gents alone because quite often they are dirty and the urinals are at toddler playing height Grin

Original poster
YerMaw1989 · 14/10/2012 23:50

10 years old? isn't that a bit old I can't imagine a 9 year old boy still going into the ladies with his mum.

OP posts:
spondulix · 14/10/2012 23:52

YABU, everyone knows men's toilets are a cesspit of criminality. 98% of white slavery rings operate from men's toilets in malls.

scurryfunge · 14/10/2012 23:53

I think that as long as they have got past the messing about with water stage and are trusted to wash their hands then they will be fine.

Graciescotland · 14/10/2012 23:56

If it was my toddler, in those three seconds, he'd have marched up to a random stranger having a wee and be trying to chat about willies.

WorraLiberty · 14/10/2012 23:57

I said 'in the three seconds he was in there what do think would have happened?'

You haven't told us what her reply was so how can we know if YABU or not?

IMO YABU for allowing your toddler to leave his seat at the table but no doubt someone will be along to disagree with that.

Original poster
YerMaw1989 · 14/10/2012 23:58

I'd have expected my DM to be embarrassed about having to go into the gents if anything.

OP posts:
RubyFakeNails · 14/10/2012 23:59

Your DM is the reason I keep walking into a toilet or changing room and having to go out and check I'm in the womens.

I swear there was a boy of 12 in the changing rooms at the gym the other day. I was Shock

apostropheuse · 15/10/2012 00:00

a four year old boy was sexually assaulted in the toilet in an ASDA shop in Scotland a few wees ago and a teenager has now been charged with it. Your DM may have read that story and it was fresh in her mind.

The little boy was only in the toilet for a few minutes.#

toofattorun · 15/10/2012 00:00

I have never disagreed with you, Worra. You talk sense.

Original poster
YerMaw1989 · 15/10/2012 00:01

Worra he had finished long before us and my mum was watching him play on a machine, people may disagree but he wasn't rampaging around the place unsupervised or crying disturbing others.

She made the incredulous noise as if to say 'anyone could get him' sorry I mixed that up a bit.

OP posts:
suburbophobe · 15/10/2012 00:02

Lucky you having your mum there to chase after your DS so you could enjoy your dinner Grin

Original poster
YerMaw1989 · 15/10/2012 00:06

perhaps I am not hysterical enough? I could understand if he had been in there for ages but literally a few seconds.

OP posts:
RubyFakeNails · 15/10/2012 00:10

No, do not change your stance.

LucieMay · 15/10/2012 00:29

I let DS, six, go into the gents alone if I don't need the toilet and I wait for him outside. If we both need it, he comes into the ladies with me. Yes, there may be a paedophile lurking but our children can be at risk of paedophiles anyway and most abuse comes from adults known to the child, not strangers.

Mosman · 15/10/2012 00:33

I like to reduce risk where ever possible

ripsishere · 15/10/2012 01:39

Don't forget those white slave trader types also cut and dye your DCs hair in the blink of an eye.
In fact, you probably wouldn't have recognized him had your DM not been so quick.

hornybill · 15/10/2012 01:56

YANBU, your DM is being very silly. Grandmas can get a bit like that for some reason. My DM gets twitchy when we go for a walk next to a canal. She wants me to hold the dcs' hands at all times. They can all swim, she can't.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 15/10/2012 02:00

horny - maybe she's hoping they'll save her if she falls in?!

hornybill · 15/10/2012 02:12

Well she is definitely the one we would have to fish out!

howdoo · 15/10/2012 02:43

Mosman, there's a balancing act between "reducing risk wherever possible" and putting the fear of god into your children for no discernible reason. DSs (6 and 8) will go into the loos without me, and I wait outside. I tell them not to talk to anyone and that's it.

Mosman · 15/10/2012 04:45

It's all in the delivery, I'd like you to come to the ladies because if you don't the bogey man will get you, I'd like you to come with mum. End of sentence.
Totally different scenario, there have been stranger rapes in supermarket toilets so I'm sorry but keeping kids close and safe without frightening them is responsible parenting IMO

Proudnscary · 15/10/2012 06:50

My ds has been going into the men's loos on his own since he was about 7 or 8. If I'm honest I don't love it, especially at a big motorway service station or similar but just like crossing roads, walking to school on his own (he's now 10) I know it's important to let him do these things and to teach them/talk to them about specific risks and how to stay out of danger.

I realise the risk of anything happening to children in a public loo is very very low though I can't forget the horrendous case with two little boys being sexually assaulted in a McDonald's loo (man was found guilty and imprisoned, Dec 2010 before anyone challenges that - I get Angry with the arrogant, achingly faux laid back attitude on Mumsnet where anyone who shows a hint of fear about sex predators are told they are hysterical - it is rare but it does happen).

roughtyping · 15/10/2012 06:57

Proudnscary - agree with your last paragraph.

Also agree with poster who posted about the wee boy in ASDA. That was v recent and about 3 miles away from where I live. There has also been an incident where 2 men in a car approached children leaving my son's school - credible enough that the school sent home a letter and all other schools in the LA were notified.

It's horrible. My DS is 8 and have been encouraging him to be more independent, but knowing stuff like this CAN happen scares the shit out of me.

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