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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If somebody is in your house sat with their fingers in their ears

71 replies

Mosman · 14/10/2012 03:34

Because your child is crying, would you be annoyed/offended ?
He's not being left to cry we are dealing with it but it irrationally winds me up more than the crying tbh.
Is it me or is this person rude ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mosman · 14/10/2012 06:21

It's a long story May, there have been many threads lol

OP posts:
AngryBeaver · 14/10/2012 06:22

Don't send her on a tour of here thank you!!
She sounds like a horrid intolerant bitch.
Does she help you with the housework and meals at least?
How old is she? Could it be the beginnings of dementia? (thinking of the puppy incident)
I am dreading my ILS coming for a visit. They are put off by the long flight at present, and I hope they stay that way,for they are a huge PITA!
My mum comes to stay for long periods, but she is fab. Comes in, sweeps floors, makes lunch, puts washing on, adores the children. So she is welcome anytime!
If visitors cannot pull their weight,they should stay at fucking home! I've got enough to do! As I am sure you do. Tell dh she has to stay in a hotel the next time or not bother coming!

Fairylea · 14/10/2012 06:24

So rude.

Suggest she never bothers to come back, she obviously doesn't enjoy anything about the visit ! What a horrid woman.

ChasedByBees · 14/10/2012 07:16

I've read your previous threads. What does your DH say when she's aggressive to your kids? I'd tell her to leave for that alone.

BiscuitNibbler · 14/10/2012 07:21

I would be booking a room for her in a Travelodge-type place for her remaining 13 weeks.

JeezyOrangePips · 14/10/2012 07:23

Has she ever had whiplash or a head injury?

I ask because I know two people that certain noises cause them physical pain - one had a head injury from a fall, the other was in a head on collision. They are affected slightly differently - one is affected by volume, the other by a certain pitch.

I think a baby might be able to affect either one.

Original poster
Mosman · 14/10/2012 07:27

Unfortunately DH was pretty cross with them at the time too as they had played up but I gave him short shrift too.
She cannot afford a travel lodge if I kicked her out she would be heading home and she knows it hence the apology no doubt.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mosman · 14/10/2012 07:29

She has had a whiplash injury and did say it hurt her ears but wtf was she expecting in a house hold with 4 kids in it?

OP posts:
storminabuttercup · 14/10/2012 07:31

Sorry if this sounds off but why is she actually visiting? She doesn't seem to like the kids very much.

I'd be scraping together the money to send her bloody home, not on a little jolly!

Disclaimer, I can't spend 20 minutes with my DP's mother, so my tolerance levels are obviously very low.

sashh · 14/10/2012 07:47

I ask because I know two people that certain noises cause them physical pain

I was thinking that - I feel pain ith certain pitches of noise. But if I chose to spend a number of weeks with a new baby I'd take earplugs and still be appologising profusely to the parents.

Check flight times and leave a printout on her bed.

You have a baby, a family and a puppy - a MIL who doesn't help is the last thin you need.

PeahenTailFeathers · 14/10/2012 07:56

She is so rude! It's your house and you little baby can cry as much as she needs to. Send her home - you know you want to Wink.

toxtethogrady · 14/10/2012 07:58

oh god
i remember yr threads. shit. it all came to fruition then?
you are a living saint

NeedlesCuties · 14/10/2012 08:21

here, OP, have a medal<

I couldn't cope with anyone visiting for 20 weeks, nevermind my MIL!

She was being rude, YANBU.

lovebunny · 14/10/2012 08:38

could she be aspie? my fingers go into my ears if there is no other way to avoid upsetting noise. i've learned to ask, firmly, that taxi drivers switch off their music. that annoys them but it saves me looking a complete prat. if she's aspie and there is a noise that makes her anxious, she'll have to block it out somehow.

JeezyOrangePips · 14/10/2012 08:43

So it causes her pain, and you think it's rude?

Wow.

Sorry op, but I think YABU. If something caused you physical pain, wouldn't you do something to lessen it?

eurowitch · 14/10/2012 08:44

OMG, OP. My MIL stayed for a week last Xmas and I was at the end of my rope after about 3 days!

LadyFlumpalot · 14/10/2012 08:45

20 weeks?!?

Could you book a nice week long holiday for you and your DC's and let your DH and his mother have some (ahem) quality time?

Or, set up a voice recording of someone whispering her name very softly and slowly in a kind of sing song stylee and leave it on repeat in her room. All night, every night...

FannyFifer · 14/10/2012 08:45

She could do something to lesson it alright, she could leave.

Good god 20 weeks, send her home she has totally overstayed her welcome.

Original poster
Mosman · 14/10/2012 08:47

I hadn't actually considered it might hurt her tbh and yes she does get very anxious I'd the howling goes on for a while so there might be more to it. Doesn't excuse the snapping and shouting though does it ?

OP posts:
LadyFlumpalot · 14/10/2012 08:48

Jeezy if it caused her pain, she could say "I'm very sorry, I hope you don't think in being rude, but I am sensitive to high pitched noises so the crying is hurting my ears".

To just sit there with cats bum face and her fingers in her ears is very rude.

JeezyOrangePips · 14/10/2012 08:52

Obviously the snapping and shouting is not ok, but you werent asking if you were being unreasonable about that. I suspect you know you aren't!

JeezyOrangePips · 14/10/2012 08:56

Ladyflumpalot, I have been in the company of two people with this problem.

Never once have I thought 'how rude'. I have always thought 'poor you' - as to be honest, getting sharp pain with noise is not pleasant. You can see in their face how much it affects them.

I don't think someone should have to apologise because they are in pain and they are trying to lessen it.

It might be polite to do so, but I don't think it's necessary.

Willabywallaby · 14/10/2012 09:05

I think you should suggest that she goes for a walk when things get too much.

RobinSparkles · 14/10/2012 09:06

Is it just me who thought that this thread was going to be about X Factor?

OP I couldn't bear having anyone to stay in my house for 20 weeks. You must be a saint or a glutton for punishment. Shock

LadyFlumpalot · 14/10/2012 09:07

That's fair enough Jeezy but, the difference is, you knew. The OP had said that she didn't think that so, I'm assuming, her MIL hadn't made it known, therefore it's not surprising she found it rude.