AIBU to thank that my nephews university womens society were wrong in..

[Immycupoftea]

My nephew is a fresher at a University in Kent. In an introduction speech to a large hall of freshers the Womens Society officer proclaimed that "All men were potential rapists" AIBU in thinking this is not a point of view to express to 18 year olds. I realise we all have to be careful, but....
I must add this was not an employee of the uni, just a society officer.

UltraBOF - it's not common knowledge that 'rape' is abuse with the penis ONLY.

personally I would class any sort of sexual abuse that involves insertion, as rape.

And I think whether or not that line was to spark debate, you're going to still get some girl walking away with that quote in her head who'll go on to take it as truth.

Thank you Ghostship, I agree completly.

Well - assuming they have a functioning penis then yes all men do have the potential to forcibly penetrate a woman. The potential IS there, inherent in the male sex. Furthermore women are at far greater risk of attack from men they know than from strangers. So I don't think it's that controversial a view point for a Womens' Officer to express. What is she supposed to say? Some men have the potential to be rapists? How exactly would 'some' be defined? Abusive men don't come with a label. They look like all other men.

If your nephew was offended, I think that may have a positive outcome. He can reflect on his behaviour and make damn sure no woman ever has cause to say the potential converted to reality in his case.

Hmmmm I still don't think undergrads should need nannying or thought-policing and should be old enough to know not to take everything anyone ever tells them as 100% literal truth...

Also 18 year olds from sheltered homes living away for the first time who are naive enough to be shaken by that statement might be naive enough to trust the wrong person just because he is her age/ on her course/ has a nice face... shocking them into thinking twice might be a not altogether stupid aim...

I'd like a bit more context. Why was the Women's Society officer talking to a large hall of freshers? It can't have been a talk to all freshers, as annual intake is about 4000. Was the society officer giving a talk to encourage new students to join the Women's Society, or was it a talk about personal safety? What did the officer say after the proclamation about all men being potential rapists? Without knowing a bit more, I can't tell you whether this was wrong or not.

Right on, EnglishWoman. I am a bit fed up with eighteen year olds simultaneously expecting to be treated like adults, but then also babied and spoonfed when they feel like it.

northernlurker

It's silly to point it out though, and a really negative and insulting thing to say.

We all have potential to be murderers
We all have potential to be paedophiles

We all have 'potential' to become rape victims. < bet she didn't say that one.

Without hearing the rest of the speech, I'd reserve judgement. Could have been making this sort of point for example: kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/.

And englishwoman is right, BUT I'd be more concerned with what context they took that sentence in, and how they processed it. Did they realise it was suppose to shock? Or did they take it as gospel?

kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

How did the speech continue? It's not a nice thing to say but I would guess it was said to highlight to the women that actually they aren't safe with a guy just because he is a student / someone they recognise. Most rapists attack women they know therefore I think it's better to say that than give the women lots of warnings about short skirts, spiked drinks and walking home alone. Perhaps it was also supposed to highlight the importance of actually getting positive consent from partners too? There is a fairly high chance that someone in the audience has / will rape someone so it might have been said in an attempt to tackle rape myths.

Is it maybe making the point that until you know someone better you should bear in mind that you don't know them

So even if a woman technically rapes a man or another women it isn't classed as rape? What is it classed as, assault? sexual harassment?

WithougCaution, there are actually a whole range of sexual criminal offences. Rape is the most well know word therefore it is often misused outside of it's legal definition. That doesn't mean that other situations aren't criminal, or are less severely punished, it just means they have a different name. It is a crime for a woman to force sex on a man or another woman, we just don't call that crime "rape" when it's in court.

Ah, ok then Thanks TeddyBare

The Women's Society Officer is presumably just a student a year or 2 older than the ones she was talking to...

I don't see that students need a group of aunties/ mums policing what is suitable for their delicate little ears by a fellow student...

Oops I made no sense there, I meant what is said to them by a fellow student.

I was thinking along the same lines as EnglishWoman. It's hard to tell without being there.

The point could be a shock way to say that you don't know which men could be rapists, which might cause the students to be more careful.

When she talked about men abusing their power, I imagine she meant "men as a class". Given she was the University Women's Officer, it's unsurprising that she considers men as a class to have more power (privelige) than women as a class.

Well what was the purpose of the speech? Did she go on to say 'so be careful out there, take responsibility for yourselves, don't be too trusting but here are the support facilities if you need them'? Or was she trying to provoke thought about the role of the women's soc?

Either way, an intelligent person ought to be able to understand the point being made, distinguish between that and hyperbole, ask questions, argue or dismiss exaggeration for what it is. I agree with the poster who asked what anyone incapable of critical listening is doing at university. Part of the point is to be exposed to new and extreme ideas.

And assuming they're still going, just wait til the SWSS get going. Then he'll hear all about the diabolical actions of all sorts of groups of people defined 'as a class' (and learn to listen selectively).

"Why are women potential rapists? confused

You need a dick, at least in British law."

Well technically a woman could be guilty as an accessory or through the doctrine of innocent agency even though in reality it's not going to be the case, but they'd still be charged with the same crime as the primary culprit if they were an accessory.

All men are potential rapists comes from Reclaim the Streets doesn't it? So it is in the context of women being told they must take precautions, such as not going out alone at night, rather than men (the group from whom rapists come) being told they should be the ones staying in.

Impossible to get my knickers in a twist about it with all context removed...