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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my dd to have sugary food?

57 replies

HairyToothbrush · 11/10/2012 11:01

I admit I'm quite strict about what I let dd (13mo) eat and I do not let her eat too much 'junk' but I do let her have the odd bit of cake, crisps ect. But I'm so fed up so friends and family saying
'aw don't be mean, just let her have a bit'
'a small bit won't hurt'
'she's missing out'
'when she's older she'll resent you'

Is it so unreasonable that I want my dd to eat healthy food? I really don't understand why everyone wants me to give her chocolate and sweets all the time. My mum is the worst. She doesn't understand why I don't feed her chips and sausges everyday. My dd likes fruit and vegetables! surely it's a good thing??? Am I just the weird one?
Sorry got a bit carried away there but I'm still angry at my mum giving dd a whole donut for breakfast!

OP posts:

OxfordBags · 11/10/2012 12:13

YADNBU! I feel the same way as you. I'm not a diet nazi, as my DS has the odd try of stuff like cake now and then, but he genuinely dislikes them when he does. When we offered him some ice-cream on holiday, he reacted like it was poison! I don't eat sugar myself, so am not being a hypocrite, and having lots of sweet treats isn't something that occurs to me, so it's just not a thing we do in our home.

My folks are v good about not giving him anything I don't wish him to have, as my own grandparents ignored my Mum's wishes that they didn't stuff us with sweets and choc the second her back was turned! However, other people are really weird about my choice. I hear you about the squash issue, OP! Other mums are really off with me about me not letting Ds have squash at his groups. How it affects them in any way, I do not know! Sugar is bad enough, but additives are unequivocally bad for everyone, and there's no way I'd touch that stuff myself, never mind him.

You just have to remember that when people are being funny with you, their desire to give children sugary treats is all about THEM, not the children involved. THEY want to feel good, THEY want to enjoy being someone who is giving a treat. Their annoyance when you don't allow it is at feeling bad about being denied this chance.

Tincletoes · 11/10/2012 12:13

I do agree with you OP, but with regards to teeth I don't agree that an apple is any better than a doughnut. With regards to general health, an apple is obviously way better.

I remember going on a course once where the question was asked - which is better for your child, crisps or an apple. Well of course everyone said apple - the answer was that it depends on the context, and a dentist would say that as far as teeth were concerned, crisps are far better!

OxfordBags · 11/10/2012 12:15

BTW, the same mums that are funny with me for not allowing Ds squash and sweets at his groups are the same ones who make a big deal about asking me 'how' I 'get' him to drink water and eat fruit and veg. Erm, what am I supposed to say in response to that?!

BlueberryHill · 11/10/2012 12:16

I always worry about really small kids choking on haribo, am I being a bit OTT?

Mine are 5 yo and 2 yo, they do have some cake / sweets but only ever after eating their meals. I have a no juice rule too. It is more from a healthy teeth point of view. We find it difficult to clean the 2 yo teeth properly all the time so the dentist has said focus on not feeding them sugary stuff in the first place.

AvengingAngel · 11/10/2012 12:17

Except some crisps have sugar in them!

Another thing which annoys me, is the surestart playgroup we go to, which is a government funded, ie taxpayer funded, at snacktime, provides those bloody pink wafer biscuits! I just don't get it! One the one hand they are educating parents and children on the value of healthy eating and on the other hand providing children with utter shit at snack time. Courtesy of the tax payer! It makes me furious!

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 11/10/2012 12:17

It's the acid in an apple, and other fruit whi h might be harmful to teeth. So brush regularly. An apple is not fattening, won't cause type2 diabetes or clog your arteries.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 11/10/2012 12:18

I dont give dd squash, and hope to not have to for a long time. I feed her lots of fruit and veg and she has a good balanced intake of food. she gets a biscuit at home time from the CMs and would have a bit of cake if at a party or someone brought it for a reason to our house. Theres no need to give babies junk.

KitCat26 · 11/10/2012 12:21

YANBU. I'm gobsmacked that your mum gave her a whole donut for breakfast (did she eat it all?)

You sound like you have the balance just right actually with the odd piece of cake/crisp here and there.

FWIW with DD1 I was pretty strict no chocolate/cake etc until she was over 1, then relaxed a little. With DD2, she was sucking her way through a bourbon biscuit happily at 6 months . But they only had their first taste of a donut aged just over 3 and 20mths.

ditsydoll · 11/10/2012 12:22

My DD was always fed on really healthy good and I had the same issues with family members etc but I stood my ground and now she is almost 4 and would still choose vegetable sticks and fruit at a party before she went for the burger and chips. She does however enjoy the odd treat (usually offered by nanny because that's just what nans are for) but I do agree that at 13 months old your DC should definitely not be eating junk food. I remember DH dad asking if he could give DD crisps when she was about 1 and when I said no because they where too salty he made a side remark about how I let her have pieces of cheese which contains a lot of salt, I spared myself an argument by just saying that there was a lot more nutrition in cheese than in crisps. I got so fed up of explaining myself in the end that I would just smile and say no lol. I also got grief from a few family members for breastfeeding DD at 18 months old. We are all constantly scrutinized as parents, they would probably all have something to say if they thought you gave her too much junk.. everyone has an opinion, stick to your guns.. your baby, your choice x

YouWithTheFace · 11/10/2012 12:22

My DD is almost two and has never liked juice, doesn't get chocolate or sweets, and gets cake on Very Special Occasions. She gets masses of those fruit bars (urgh) and fruit, and gets those baby snack foods too, you know, organic tree-huggy crisps that make me feel marginally all right about them. And my friends (who give their kids white bread and chocolate spread sandwiches) think I'm depriving her!

Of course, I just point to my spare tyre and hips and say I don't want her to struggle with poor eating choices like her mother does, and that works REALLY well to stop the comments!

expectingno2 · 11/10/2012 12:28

what i have perfected is - thanks for that but it is quite close to mealtime (or some other excuse) so I will give it to them later. Then I just eat it myself. I have a cupboard full of such stuff that I will occasionally raid on an evening. Especially the Haribo.

Shagmundfreud · 11/10/2012 12:28

YANBU

But I also think that children should rarely have fruit juice, and that they shouldn't be snacking on fruit all day either.

Some fruit is very high in sugar. I don't think it's good for ANYONE to be walking around with high levels of glucose in their blood all day, and constantly having to release insulin to deal with it.

Seriously - where do people get the idea from that fruit-juice is a really good drink for children? What's wrong with water?

Shagmundfreud · 11/10/2012 12:31

"Wildworld- fructose, fruit sugar, is an essential source of slow release energy. The body requires these natural, simple carbohydrate sugars. It doesn't need refined sugar"

You don't need to eat fruit to be healthy.

Children can grown and thrive without it. People can live perfectly healthy lives eating good quality fat and protein, with some vegetable matter thrown in to boot.

Purple2012 · 11/10/2012 12:51

My nephews love sweet stuff, but they also like healthy stuff. They are allowed sweets as a treat but know it's not every day. If I am going to take them sweets or homemade cakes I always ask their parents first and they know in advance so if I say I will be visiting in 2 days time with cakes they know and that will be their treat for the week. Everything in moderation is fine.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 11/10/2012 12:51

Shagmund- err...ok....If you say so. I don't agree though. 5-a-day?

As said above shag, it's not glucose, it's fructose. Totally different.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 11/10/2012 13:20

yanbu, some people are obsessed with inflicting their own terrible diets on my child, only the fat unhealthy ones mind, normal people might ask on occasion but accept my response. Those who live on junk try to change my mind or sneak her stuff. It's no wonder there are so many fat kids and not necessarily the parents overfeeding them either....

It really annoys me, even if they don't get fat now (and who on earth would purposely inflict that on a child ffs?), there's tooth decay and you've set them up with bad habits that could lead to obesity and related health issues in later life. Sugar is addictive and some people seem particularly vulnerable to it.

Salamanger · 11/10/2012 13:47

YANBU.

I work with young children in full daycare. National and local policy restricts the sugar we can give. Even raisins are only given as part of a main meal to restrict the sugar contact with teeth. The children enjoy their food and never ask for 'treats'.

I feed my 2yo according to the same advice. Makes for a much easier time when she's surrounded by bags of sweets in shops, but then I do like feeling smug.

QueenStromba · 11/10/2012 14:18

You're right Kitty, fructose is completely different to glucose. While glucose can be metabolised by every cell in the body, only the liver can metabolise fructose and it deals with it in almost the exact same way as alcohol - it gets turned straight into fat and can lead to fatty liver disease the same way alcohol can. Professor Robert Lustig makes a very compelling argument in that fructose is pretty much the same as alcohol but without the buzz and is very damaging to your health.

ICBINEG · 11/10/2012 14:26

My 16 mo DD got fed chocolate chip cookies at a baby cafe this week. I was a little stressed but as she usually rejects anything sweet tasting I didn't fuss to much....so she only ate about 4!

Mostly I stick to her being allowed a little of anything that anyone else is eating as a one off but meals and her (endless - I really hope its a growth spurt) snacks are pretty healthy.

nickeldaisical · 11/10/2012 14:29

i'm quite annoyed that your playgroups don't give the option of squash or water.

I go to a playgroup and it has cups put out colour-coded for water and squash.
it's 50/50 and the parents choose.

NowThenNowThen · 11/10/2012 14:32

YANBU. I resisted giving ds any refined sugar at all until well beyond 2. He loves fruit, and eats well.
It's not necessary, and there is so much sugar in convenience foods, so I avoid those too.
Now, at 6, he is allowed sweets now and again (Friday night for example) but he just cant eat a lot of chocolate/ sweets because he has never had them in abundance.
And his teeth are perfect.

PhoebeLaura · 11/10/2012 14:39

YANBU.

Doughnuts for breakfast? Seriously? Your mother should know better. Babies don't need sugary junk and I can't understand why some people inflict their bad food choices on little ones.

My MIL gave DS an ice-cream when he was 10 mths 'as a treat'. He vomited it all down her.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 11/10/2012 15:53

Yes that's right. Fruit is worse than alcohol. Let's all stop eating fruit.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 11/10/2012 15:56

My apologies, the same as not worse than. Still

QueenStromba · 11/10/2012 17:38

Fructose is as bad as alcohol. Fruit has other things like fibre and vitamins but there's nothing in fruit that you can't get in veg. Fruit has also been bred to have a much higher fructose level than it does naturally. Refined sugar is more of a problem but fruit really isn't as healthy as it's cracked up to be.

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