To not want my children to take part in trick or treating?

[ValerieDavis]

Coming to that dreaded time of year again ... Halloween.

I've fairly strict with my children's diets and I really do not want to take them trick or treating this year. All those sugary sweets are no good for their teeth.

I've spoken with DH about this and he thinks that they've only young once and it's only for one night but the sweets tend to last a couple of weeks and I'm doing it for their own good.

I'm more than happy to buy them costumes and let them dress up and have fun on the day and will let them have a few sweets, just no trick or treating!

AIBU?

Thanks DarkMatter, I enjoyed that :)

I think it is fine if they knock on doors of people they know, to those with decorated houses. It doesn't work like that around our way. I don't decorate and I don't know many of the children who call.
It is so dire that we try and go away- failing that we go out for the evening if possible.

Dd is 4. She first went tot when she was 18 months ish. Big group of us going to prearranged houses. That's fine by me. Second year the older children had gone round first (very early) so a lot of people had nothing to give. I made the decision then to keep dd home and handing out treats to other prearranged visitors. Of course others get something. But I keep enough aside as bigger kids are terrible for grabbing handfuls.

Dh is great though. He answers the door and if the callers haven't made much of an effort (ie just a cheapie mask) he tells them to come back when they can make the effort

I love Halloween - I grew up in Dublin and like Maryz said it's a huge deal there.

We have colcannon with money in it for dinner, I bemoan the fact that I can't get hold of a barm brack with a ring in it over here and then take the DCs out for a little while (till I get bored & cold).

When I was little we went from door to door chanting 'Help the Halloween party' - I get my DCs to say Happy Halloween when someone opens the door. Mostly because they don't have a trick to do if they're called on it.

My first Halloween over was rubbish. I didn't realuse I needed to decorate the house so that people would knock, got DS (18 months) dressed up in a pumpkin suit and then waited. And waited.

DH came home to a sobbing wreck (I was pregnant and homesick) - with me wailing that I just 'felt too foreign'. I blame the hormones. Once I'd calned down I was happy enough to eat the sweets

yanbu don't agree with it at all. what's the message it gives? you knock on people's doors and they give you money or sweets? It's intimidating to some and a nuisance to others. Goes totally against my ethos that rewards are to be earned.

i can understand if you have pre-arranged with other families to visit. but to knock on neighbours doors, when you don't knock on them any other time of year, I think is out of order.

I've managed to organise either small parties or visits to halloween events and have not felt I've deprived my dc.

I think it does make a big difference where you live. Our town is quite organised and it is clear who is and who is not open for trick or treaters.

It helps if Halloween falls at the weekend and on a dry night

Primaface, Yes I do put up a Christmas tree and I even celebrate Halloween.

Way2Go - I think you have a point about location. A friend of mine lives in a small village where literally everyone knows each other and they pretty much plan Trick or Treat night together as a social event.

If I lived somewhere like that, I might be more open-minded about the whole thing.

It's a good point...we live in a cul de sac which has another cul de sac leading off it. We take ours around at about 6.30 or so...then home....and then all the bigger kids who've just given the little ones sweets at their doors, come round to ours!

They do love it so and the knocks stop at about 8.30.,,,I put out lights and take pumpkins in... If the door knocks after that... then I know it's people from further afield and I don't answer.

What chops said

We go out with the children who are all dressed up. The rule in our town appeara to be only knock on the doors of people who are playing - think pumpkin, decorations etc.

Children are always polite and a lovely hour spent by all.

Once you take your pumpkin in, no one knocks - all very civilised here so for that yabu

Worra, it is an American event and has nothing to do with the U.K, we have our own event here which is called Samhain which is preferable.

I hate to be pedantic here, bureni but Samhain is not "our own event" in the UK. It's a significant festival in the pagan calendar across the world. Including America.

As for trick or treating, I went through a somewhat po-faced stage with my dcs because we do Guy Fawkes in such a significant manner round here that Halloween tends to pass almost unnoticed. So there's no doubt that actually, what they wanted to do was beg for sweets. Not that I was particularly troubled by the sweet eating, it has to be said. More that they were being extremely opportunistic!

However, once they got older and I realised they'd disappear off and do it anyway (usually by "going round to X's house to have tea/do homework etc.,) , it occurred to me that there are worse things to get agitated about.

I feel very sorry for anyone who suffers from anti-social behaviour which tries to justify itself on the grounds of Halloween. But having visited people in areas where they do trick or treating and seen how much genuine fun the local children had going from (carefully chosen) house to house all dressed up and accompanied by parents, I'm a deal less intolerant!

I'm going to stick a note on the door asking people not to knock as we have a young toddler sleeping and his room is right by the front door.

When he's older I will dress him up and go to prearranged friend's houses but not knock on random doors, I don't think it is right to go knocking on doors. Pre parenthood I used to hate random people knocking at night on Halloween, always scared me, noknow owing who the hell it was and whether they would turn over the bins or trash the porch in retaliation for not getting sweets or money, so I don't want DS doing it.

There is a local Halloween parade thing where kids can walk about in their costumes and get treats from local businesses so we will pop into that if it fits round tea and bedtime.

The sweets won't matter if they brush their teeth properly afterwards (according to my 35 year old friend who eats chocolate daily but had a dental nurse for a mother and has 1 filling aged 32).

I'm really disapointed when no one knocks. I usually have a carved pumpkin outside.

I am a total convert.

I live in the middle east in a "gated community" (I do know how wanky that sounds I just can't better describe it ) We have a committee who are currently organising the Halloween parade and 100's of children will dress up and attend.

The majority of the residents go to town with the decorations - we have several neighbours who manage to transform their hall into caverns with cauldrons and bats. It is amazing.

The DC's think it is pretty much the best day of the year and I am in total agreement with the sentiment that the more fun you can have as a child the better.

I can't be bothered to read the thread. YABU. Use a toothbrush. I am THRILLED to be the US for the first time this year so we can take part wholeheartedly in this tradition of knocking on strangers' doors and getting stuff (not always candy - you can get floss from dentists, pencils from teachers, etc) free of charge. All the killjoy moaning and whingeing about it in the UK is so dull.

The children in our area don't knock on random doors. We one designated street in our local area where all the home owners get together and decorate their houses. The kids don't knock - they visit. A lovely local way to celebrate halloween without having to go to the homes of strangers.

My kids are allowed 2/3 of the lollies they collect. Then they go in the bin.

No. Bloody retailers wanting to make a few extra pounds by jumping on the (predominently) US bandwagon and shoving it down our throats.

You cannot reliably do it because people being called on won't necessarily be prepared, for a start, and it terrifies a lot of elderly people. I was going to suggest doing between a pre-planned network but then noticed MrRected's post - I could condone that; nice one.

In England, Guy Fawkes night trumps All Souls .

I have a question, since this year I WILL be taking the dts out, do most people leave the sweets on the doorstep when they take their own kids out?

I was thinking leave dh at home with the sweets, in case the first couple emptied out a bucket left on the doorstep!

Gosh, I love trick or treating. Having grown up in the US, I think Halloween's great fun and don't see why people are such humbugs about it. I also celebrate Guy Fawkes in a big way (and we did even in the US, for fun!), so I say, embrace all the celebrations you can! Why get so grumpy?

It's a children's holiday really. You can take up the sweets at the end of the night and distribute over several months if you want. Some of my best memories are of Halloween and I'm looking forward to having fun with my future child on Halloween!

I would love to know where these people live who have a civilised hour where DCs only visit decorated houses. I might like it if that was the case. We never decorate our house and yet get 3 hours of visits.
I also don't want to go to all the bother if MeRected then throws third of the sweets in the bin- how wasteful and pointless. Just show off costumes and refuse the sweets.
I also hate the way it has become so commercial. We may have had Halloween but it used to be low key and home made. It has become very American- something we don't need - like school proms.

We only go to houses we know and with whom we've agreed in advance. They do get a lot of sweets but tbh most of them are still in the cupboard now so I don't worry about it too much

Did you eat sweets as a kid op?

I don't get all the panic about sweets. Mine only have them once a week if that, but sweets don't go off very quickly!

Every time my kids come back from my parents (who live away so not often) they come back with bags of the stuff, we just keep in the cupboard and it's an occasional treat.

YABU. I am busy planning a Halloween party for my DC. Can't wait. We are in a new area with very few children so I doubt we will do ToT but we had hundreds last year as I tend to go over board with decorations.

I have really been laughing at some of the arguments against though! Those of you who have taught your DC not to knock on stranger's doors do you not explain it is one day a year? I celebrate Christmas where we have a mountain of gifts and my 4 year old realises it only happens once a year... I think she would understand ToT only happens at Halloween and obviously would only go out with adult supervision!

don't really care for the angst on here about halloween, people will always find something to take the joy out of life it seems

it's pretty simple though, if you don't like it then don't do it, it isn't forced.

i sympathise if you live in an area where there is lots of trouble and would get onto pcsos to see what diversion activities they have planned for 'troubled' areas