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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my children to take part in trick or treating?

293 replies

ValerieDavis · 09/10/2012 16:18

Coming to that dreaded time of year again ... Halloween.

I've fairly strict with my children's diets and I really do not want to take them trick or treating this year. All those sugary sweets are no good for their teeth.

I've spoken with DH about this and he thinks that they've only young once and it's only for one night but the sweets tend to last a couple of weeks and I'm doing it for their own good.

I'm more than happy to buy them costumes and let them dress up and have fun on the day and will let them have a few sweets, just no trick or treating!

AIBU?

OP posts:
MaryZed · 09/10/2012 20:20

Yes, I was going to say that. It's a very old Christmas song.

Are you just making this up as you go along bureni? None of it sounds Irish at all.

shesariver · 09/10/2012 20:26

I'm Scottish and we always called it guising, kids now do call it trick or treat although they still have to tell a joke first. I'm glad mind you its pumpkins and not turnips as I have not so fond memories of hacking into and carving out a turnip, it was like chipping away at cement!

lipglossandlashes · 09/10/2012 20:50

Haha forgot about the turnips! Pumpkin carving is so much easier! We went guising when we were young and my kids go to the Halloween party now. Harmless fun!
Friends and neighbours make tablet or toffee apples and buy in sweets, monkey nuts and fruit and make up goody bags and give them "their Halloween" What's the problem?

MaryZed · 09/10/2012 20:50

I remember doing turnips with a hammer and chisel, and my brother cutting his palm quite badly.

I am sooooo old.

mrsrosieb · 09/10/2012 20:53

The OP reminds me of Wilbur Wonka, Willy Wonka's dentist father in the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I agree one should not fill a child full of junk food, but totally prohibiting something will only make children want it and want to rebel.

RobinSparkles · 09/10/2012 20:59

Ooh, I love these threads! You can't have Halloween without one of these threads.

Every year - loads of miserable posters hating Halloween, trick or treating is begging. Them bloody Americans sending their traditions over here, how bloody dare they rah rah rah etc etc. Do we have a full house?

Fwiw, I love Halloween. It's a milestone on the way to Christmas for me.

All the houses on our estate get really into it - lots of decorations etc. we only knock on the decorated houses. The children around here are all lovely and don't cause any nuisance .

When I was little people didn't make as big a deal of it as they do now. I always wanted to live in the states and have Halloween like in the films :o.

RobinSparkles · 09/10/2012 21:07

Oh, and once children get to High School they'll probably wreck their teeth by buying sweets at the corner shop on their way home from school.

I used to catch a bus to work and I remember all the High School children getting sweets from the shop before the bus came every day, with what probably should have been their dinner money!

CaliforniaLeaving · 09/10/2012 21:09

I'm in Bloody American and we don't do trick or treating, and no one knock our door looking for sweets (thank god)
We do get dressed up and go to a friends annual party, her family love halloween and go all out, so the kids play games and eat dinner and run about with torches in the dark.
I hate trick or treat, I taught my kids not to take things from strangers and it goes against everything we tell them. I hate the begging of it all.

MaryZed · 09/10/2012 21:13

But proper trick or treating isn't strangers. It's neighbours. One's you know, and whose children play with yours.

That's why trick or treating on housing estates where everyone does it is such fun.

Primafacie · 09/10/2012 21:18

YANBU not to celebrate any festival, fest or holiday that you don't want to celebrate.

YABabitSad though. As a Canadian who did Halloween for years (in Canada), I have very fond memories of it. Thankfully we are in London and can go to American Expatland South Kensington to get our yearly fix. My three year old is beside herself already, trying to decide between the mermaid and dinosaur costumes.

We also celebrate Christmas, American Thanksgiving, Passover and Durga Puja, each of which delights our children. Why pass on an occasion to have good fun?

Bureni, I presume you don't make a Christmas tree, what with it being a German tradition?

picnicbasketcase · 09/10/2012 21:25

I've said this before but I'm somewhat hypocritical about this subject. I buy sweets to give to children who knock on our door but I don't take my DC out trick or treating. I don't really like the idea of asking strangers for sweets whilst telling them the rest of the time not to talk to strangers plus the idea that they might scare or intimidate someone elderly etc etc

solidgoldbrass · 09/10/2012 21:29

We love it; there are a dozen households round here that make a huge effort every Halloween and several more that at least have a pumpkin or two and a bowl of sweets. I put out a pumpkin, have sweets ready, then DS and I pick a moment to go and do our own little tour and leave the sweets on the porch...

I always wanted to go trick-or-treating as a kid but it Just Wasn't DOne round our way.

Primafacie · 09/10/2012 21:31

How can you even draw a parallel between begging and halloween? At halloween, people buy sweets and invite kids to their house (by putting a jack-o-lantern out) to take them. It is not begging by the kids -more of a random act of kindness on the part of the sweets givers, as the sweets were purchased for the very purpose of giving out.

And I have never in my whole life even heard of (Canadian) kids playing tricks to those who don't give sweets. That, as far as I know, is only a British tradition.

CaliforniaLeaving · 09/10/2012 21:33

MaryZed.
But proper trick or treating isn't strangers. It's neighbours. One's you know, and whose children play with yours.
That's why trick or treating on housing estates where everyone does it is such fun.

Not true here! The kids come in van loads from other areas to knock on the doors of the fancy houses over at the golf course. Most people here don't even know the neighbors except to say hello as you pass, not to chat even. Kids are driving to each others houses to play on "play dates"

CaliforniaLeaving · 09/10/2012 21:34

that is driven not driving, my 7 year old cannot drive (yet)

cynister · 09/10/2012 21:35

Those bloody Americans bringing their tricky treaty ways to our sacred shores! My Scottish mum took me out on Halloween when I was but 5 months old. I am a bit taken aback at people getting all up in their girl about the begging from strangers thing. Where on earth do you take your children? I only TAKE mine to our neighbours and friends. These same people they visit after school, and hit up to buy useless crap for the school sale...

MaryZed · 09/10/2012 21:36

That isn't what I would consider to be trick or treating then California, which is a real shame - like my comment above about 14 year olds in balaclavas not being trick or treating.

I think it is possible to support and enjoy the true trick or treating, and still object to the hijacking of it in some places by teenage hoodlums, beggars and troublemakers.

Rather than tarring it all with the same brush, as it were.

IvorHughJackolantern · 09/10/2012 21:38

We are mean, we put a sign up last year and will re-surrect it this year, asking people to please not ring the bell as we have a sleeping baby... But we do have a little bucket outside the door with sweeties in and ask them to help themselves (DH, tight as a whippet's arse, has suggested we put an empty bucket there and allow people to assume that they've all been snaffled already Hmm)

IvorHughJackolantern · 09/10/2012 21:39

re-surrect? Sorry.

MaryZed · 09/10/2012 21:42

You need sweet papers in the empty bucket, though Ivor. Just so your neighbours don't realise you are tightwads Grin.

How old is your eldest? 'Cos at about the age of 5 they become opinionated little sods on the subject of Halloween (and Christmas for that matter Hmm).

tittytittyhanghang · 09/10/2012 21:47

YABU, although in Scotland its called guising. When i was little people usually gave out money because when you knocked on the door you didn't say trick or treat, but penny for the gut. Was great fun.

DarkMatter · 09/10/2012 21:47

This thread reminded me of this excellent David Sedaris piece that was read on R4 earlier this year. It's long but v funny and well worth a read:

www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2004/jun/sedaris/usandthem.html

Way2Go · 09/10/2012 22:03

I don't get why some people are anti Halloween because it is so American

I presume they couldn't possibly let their DC's watch Disney Movies, eat McDonalds, wear baseball hats and read Dr Seuss?......

..............Yeah, I thought as much. Smile

cynister · 09/10/2012 22:03

Excellent, Darkmatter! I am emailing copy to my friends..

Vagndidit · 09/10/2012 22:05

I absolutely LOVE Halloween and I am sad that my son is missing out on a fabulously fun holiday by not living in the US at the moment. Cannot get excited about it here in England though because of all of the British moaners because nobody celebrates it quite like the Americans. I miss all the great sweets even candy corn