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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my children to take part in trick or treating?

293 replies

ValerieDavis · 09/10/2012 16:18

Coming to that dreaded time of year again ... Halloween.

I've fairly strict with my children's diets and I really do not want to take them trick or treating this year. All those sugary sweets are no good for their teeth.

I've spoken with DH about this and he thinks that they've only young once and it's only for one night but the sweets tend to last a couple of weeks and I'm doing it for their own good.

I'm more than happy to buy them costumes and let them dress up and have fun on the day and will let them have a few sweets, just no trick or treating!

AIBU?

OP posts:
rockinhippy · 09/10/2012 17:37

Decor, OR pumkin, damned autocorrect

GreenEggsAndNichts · 09/10/2012 17:37

Begonia proper lol at your flabby lady. Grin

YABU, OP.

bureni · 09/10/2012 17:39

We do not have trick or treat here but the Halloween Rhymers do go round the doors in the larger towns and cities singing a song but are only asking for money not goods, the song is called " Halloween is coming".

Halloween is coming
and the goose is getting fat
would you please put a penny in the old mans hat
if you havent got a penny
a halfpenny will do
If you havent got a halfpenny
then god bless you.

BegoniaBampot · 09/10/2012 17:39

I had teenagers at the house last year, they were all lovely. Does anyone actually do the trick part? That's not part of our Halloween at all, we used to have to do a turn, tell a joke or sing etc for any apples, sweets.

To the person who said you never missed out not going round the neighbourhood, fours Halloween was one of the biggest days of the year, we got so excited and it was a huge deal. I'd be sad to think I'd never experienced that fun as a kid.

BegoniaBampot · 09/10/2012 17:42

We used to say,

"The sky is blue
The grass is green
May we have our Halloween"

Sirzy · 09/10/2012 17:42

Yes people do the trick part still. My elderly grandmother ignored the Knocks on the door and the next day discovered the house covered in flour and egg.

Thankfully the lovely teens from next door cleaned it up for her!

ByTheWay1 · 09/10/2012 17:44

I was not allowed to trick or treat either - my parents were devout Catholics and saw Halloween as intentionally promoting a world where evil is lauded and viewed as a powerful influence on the most innocent of children.

I am an atheist, but don't "celebrate" Halloween .... I guess some of the influence wore off on me... I do see it as just a bit "wrong"....

DoodleAlley · 09/10/2012 17:44

Personally I would never let DS do it. What looks cute or harmless from my perspective might be very intimidating to an older person on their own and there are plenty around where we live. They don't know when the door knocks who is there and what they will do.

But then I don't like Halloween per se. It might seem cute and candy coated but if you take that layer off it's not that nice... Souls of the dead waking the earth doesn't really fill me with a warm glow!

But each to their own

rockinhippy · 09/10/2012 17:45

We did rhymes as kids too, DD + her friends loved the idea + now made up their own song + do that too :) seems to have taken off a bit as others cottoned on they were getting more treats as a result

schroedingersdodo · 09/10/2012 17:45

Yes, having sweets ONCE A YEAR will ruin their lives forever.

LordFlasheart · 09/10/2012 17:46

i love it. We will be decorating and going out too. In our area (south London) you only knock if the house has a pumpkin out. When we run out of sweets we take the pumpkin in and stick a note on the door saying 'no more sweets left, sorry!' do people really shout through the letterbox?!

Chrysanthemum5 · 09/10/2012 17:47

Celebrating Hallowe'en is not American (although I guess trick or treating may be). In Scotland we go out guising, the children go round the neighbours houses and each child has a little party piece they do eg singing a song. Only if they do that do they then receive sweeties. And even the teenagers round here take part.

And YABU, if you dont like it then don't go, but the DCs end up with loads of sweeties and I just remove most of them. They never remember how many they got, and they are pretty happy with the ones they get to eat.

BadgersGhostlyRetreatWoo · 09/10/2012 17:47

see here (canada) no-one does the trick part - it's all very nice and there's no nastiness that i used to see in the UK. We got flour and egged once and our friends had graffiti sprayed on their house

here it's just kids (hoards of them!) getting a few sweets and dressing up

if you don't have a pumpkin/lights on/decoration you will not be knocked on

bassetfeet · 09/10/2012 17:51

I so love it if the local children visit my door on Halloween , I buy nuts and some sweeties ........and erm Blush now fancy making toffee apples for the first time in a while . Sadly only had two knock on my door last year . Can understand why though.

Twas turnip lanterns when my children were young with black bin liner costumes ...and always apple bobbing and pomegranites for some reason .

MaryZed · 09/10/2012 17:52

I'm marking my place because I'm counting these threads and this is the easiest way.

I'm in Ireland, btw, where t&t-ing is fun.

WorraLiberty · 09/10/2012 17:54

We do not have trick or treat here but the Halloween Rhymers do go round the doors in the larger towns and cities singing a song but are only asking for money not goods, the song is called " Halloween is coming"

So how is that different to trick or treaters asking for treats? Confused

TalkinPeace2 · 09/10/2012 17:56

YANBU
We hide in the back of our house on Halloween because of the area.
It has turned into demanding food with menaces.
When gangs of 14 year old boys in balaclavas are doing it (as happened to me a few years back) that's the end.

BUT
WE always have a halloween party in the garden with a fire and marshmallows and sparklers and pumpkins and bobbing for apples and feely boxes - MUCH more fun.

purplepenguin86 · 09/10/2012 18:00

Yes, some do tricks. Some teenagers covered my mums car in egg and flour - probably about 10 years ago now. We hadn't even been in, so we couldn't have given them anything! And I live in a naice area. To be honest I don't see why teenagers have any more right to go trick or treating than adults would - they can be just as intimidating to the elderly etc, and I think it would be naive to think that there aren't some groups of older kids/teens (ie unsupervised) who take it too far. As I said before, not all, but in my opinion once kids are past the age when it is cute then it stops being appropriate. I would say primary aged only really.

Part of my opinion on teens trick or treating is because I did once go trick or treating, as a teenager, as someone in my class had a Halloween party that I went to, and we decided to go. Some of the behaviour was awful, I felt really embarassed. There were probably 15 at this party, all around 13 or 14, and off we all went. You could see some people looked uncomfortable when opening the door, and then a few did throw some eggs, and decorate front gardens with toilet roll etc. I felt terrible, and left at that point. I believe a couple of people called the police. And again, this was a naice area, and this was a group of Year 9s from a private school. I know not all teens are going to play horrible tricks, but to elderly people I think just seeing a group of teens at the door can feel quite intimidating. Primary aged kids look cute - older than that it is begging, with a hint of 'and if you don't...'

And no, I really don't feel like I did miss out anything as a child by not going trick or treating. I had a friend with 2 siblings, and they each used to invite a friend and their mum did a little party for us. We had special food, played games etc, dressed up, and gave sweets to the kids that came trick or treating. We had great fun! I don't think trick or treating is wrong, but neither do I think you are missing out if you don't go.

ChristmasKate · 09/10/2012 18:00

We decorate the house and invite school friends and neighbours children round to go treating en mass.

We

Itchywoolyjumper · 09/10/2012 18:01

Bureni, its really not just an American thing. When I was wee in Scotland we went out guising, which is a bit like Trick or Treat but you have to sing a song or tell a joke before you get any sweeties, its very sweet Smile I'm not sure how long the tradition goes back but I would say at least 3 generations because my mum taught me a song to sing for guising that her parents had taught her.

OP, let them go, its so much fun, I have some hilarious memories of guising. I also remember only getting a few sweets but pretty much my own body weight in monkey nuts so maybe it might not be a bad as you think.

Ephiny · 09/10/2012 18:02

I think it depends on the area you live in, but around here yes it is intimidating.

Last year some neighbours had lit fireworks put through their letterboxes when they didn't answer the door and hand over money, and kids throwing eggs and flour. DH had a firework thrown at him walking home from the station once.

I wouldn't put a sign on the door as drawing attention to ourselves would probably make us more likely to be targeted, not less.

bureni · 09/10/2012 18:05

Worra, because they are asking for money not treats. I live out in the sticks not in a town or city and disapprove of this begging which imo is worse than the american trick or treating. I have already stated that I prefer the traditional celebration that involves the children giving not taking. The proper English event called All Souls Day also involves giving not taking.

YouMayLogOut · 09/10/2012 18:14

Carol singing around the houses to raise money for charity is much nicer all round. You're teaching them to provide a treat to raise money for someone less fortunate, instead of expecting a treat for themselves.

WildThongyoumakemyringsting · 09/10/2012 18:17

I feel sad reading some of these posts. When I was little we had such fun and it wasn't all about the sweets, although that helped! I always followed my dc and his posse of pals round and watched with other parents from a respectful distance.
My dc is 14 now so that ship has sailed but I'm glad he now has the happy memories to look back on too. Children grow up so fast, simple traditional pleasures like Halloween are few and far between.

Itchywoolyjumper · 09/10/2012 18:18

Cross posts with Chrysanthemum5. So sorry to hear about some of the nastiness going on around Halloween, because when its done nicely its lovely.