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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be concerned about this (re:DD2 and reasonable noise)??

156 replies

matchpoint · 08/10/2012 18:53

My DD2 started in Reception last month. She is really enjoying herself so far and I am really pleased.

However, in her class, there is a little girl who has a tube in her neck which is attached to a breathing machine, whihc is quite noisy (no idea why, none of my business I suppose). There are two full time members of staff who work with this child.
My DD2 has consistently complained that the noise from the breathing machine is "annoying" and she "doesn't like it". So far, I have (nicely!) told her to get over it, but I am starting to get concerned about the effect this may have on her education.

WIBU to go to the teacher about this, and ask for some kind of solution? I'm not asking for this little girl to go be educated in a shed far away from other children. I am concerned, however, about the effect of this constant low-level noise on my DD2 who does deserve to be educated too.

First post here, I'm slightly at a loss here, and could do with some MN advice!

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/10/2012 19:48

I was going to type a reasoned sensible response.

I decided no to bother.

OP your post is a pile of intolerrant, shit stirring twatwankery.

WereTricksPotter · 08/10/2012 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 08/10/2012 19:50

It's not as easy as saying that child is unfortunate so you can't complain, some people are very sensitive to certain sounds and it's not the young childs fault for being agitated by it. She may have sensory issues that haven't been diagnosed yet for all anyone knows. You could ask for them to be on opposite sides of the classroom.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/10/2012 19:51

OP, are you taking the piss?
Why not ask the carers to turn it off, that'll shut her up.

reddaisy · 08/10/2012 19:51

What ventilatormum said far more eloquently than I could have done.

Joiningthegang · 08/10/2012 19:52

Just to reiterate - what the f* do you think the teacher will say?

I can see why the noise might be "annoying", but really??? You and yoir daughter need to appreciate you are fit and healthy.

Please dont say anything - you will come across to the teacher the way you are on here!

And they mostly play and learn that way- its not like it will impact on her a level exam - now that may be worthy of a comment - but reception? Really?

akaemmafrost · 08/10/2012 19:55

because this can't be serious. Well done for trying OP but not nearly subtle enough.

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 08/10/2012 19:55

SauvignonBlanche · 08/10/2012 19:57

I should imagine that having to have to rely on a tracheostomy and an ventilator to stay alive is 'annoying' too. I know I 'wouldn't like' it - would you?

CailinDana · 08/10/2012 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

HeadfirstForHalos · 08/10/2012 20:01

Oh I agree OP, I think the teacher should ask the child to stop breathing when the class are learning

I helped out in Reception last year doing reading. I had to sit in the corridor with the children I was reading with as the classroom was so noisy. I doubt very much this "low level" noise is affecting your dc as much as she is claiming...

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 08/10/2012 20:01

YABsoooooU. I was going to have a rant, but there's no need. VentilatorMum put it so much better than I could have (& bought a tear to my eye as her daughter is so lucky to have such a calm, reasoned mum). Grow up OP.

sookiesookie · 08/10/2012 20:02

Not sure if you live under a bridge or just horrible. Not sure which is worse. Actually, I am.

No reception class is quite, nor do they usually have assigned rigid seating. In a reception class i would be surprised any 'low level' noise could be heard.

But you know, how rude of the girls parents to want their child to have a main stream education when she dare have noisy equipment to keep her alive.

CaseyShraeger · 08/10/2012 20:08

My DD1 also started in Reception last month. While she is loving it in general, so far she has told me that [child A] has a grumpy voice which is annoying and she doesn't like it and that she can see [child B]'s pants when they are sitting on the floor and that that's also annoying and she doesn't like it. It hasn't occurred to me to go to the teacher about either of these and ask for a solution, or to fret about the impact on her education; partly because she is a typical four-year-old being over-dramatic but also because learning to rub along in a community of disparate individuals is a big part of what school is about at this stage. Also, I would sound faintly unhinged.

I'm assuming here that your DD doesn't have a processibg disorder or other sensory issues that make this noise a legitimate concern; if she does then obviously getting a diagnosus will help in getting her needs met.

Blatherskite · 08/10/2012 20:11

Have you ever been in a reception class OP?

It's like pre school but with uniforms. No sitting quietly - lots of colouring and running around and shouting with the odd bit of counting and Phonics.

If your DD can pick out the sound of a ventilator over that lot she is trying too hard. Even if she does have some sort of processing disorder, I should think the noise of 1 ventilator would be the least of her worries in a room full of excited 4 and 5 year olds. Wait until the inevitable screaming/squealing phase starts!

If it is still bothering her next year then maybe, just maybe you might be able to get away with asking for your DD to sit away from the noise but while she's still doing EYFS, there is no chance that this could be doing any damage to her education at all.

That poor child has overcome so much to be in that classroom and now she faces this

carabos · 08/10/2012 20:12

Being charitable here, perhaps your DD is struggling to express what she really feels about the ventilator? Perhaps she says its annoying and she doesn't like it when what she means is she's unsure and anxious? Perhaps she needs reassurance that the machine isn't hurting her classmate and that it isn't going to hurt DD. Perhaps she thinks that she will have to use a machine too?

Perhaps you, as her parent, should investigate what she's really feeling and help her get over it before you dump the monkey on the teacher's desk. As ventilatormum said, ask the classmate on a play date so that DD can familiarise herself with both the machine and the person behind it.

marbleslost · 08/10/2012 20:16

Jesus - how about teaching your dc some empathy. This would be a good time I feel.

ByTheWay1 · 08/10/2012 20:16

Why on earth can't people ask what to do if their child is having trouble coping in class.... what level of problem does the OP have to have before it is valid to ask for something to change - perhaps the noise is unbearable to the OP's child -

I find repetitive noise to be so unbearable I have to leave a room - as it gives me palpitations - sorry, I guess I am lucky to be able to get up and leave - but I just DO NOT get that anyone with ANY sort of "problem"/disability/condition/illness cannot be "annoying" to someone else.....

If the OP's child has trouble coping with the noise, then her concerns are valid and need to be addressed - ok - there may be nothing that can be done, (as if ANYONE would suggest turning off the machine...) but at least an assessment of the classroom conditions would be done .... and it could be something simple like making sure the op's child is closer to the teacher than the machine.....

SlightlyJaded · 08/10/2012 20:17

Sorry, don't believe this post.

So sue me delete me

TantrumsAndBalloons · 08/10/2012 20:18

I can understand a reception child making a comment. They don't tend to know any better.
But I actually can't believe as the mother of a child and a presumably grown up woman that you would think this, let alone post it.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 08/10/2012 20:18

I hope this is not real. I really do.

schmee · 08/10/2012 20:19

Think Carabos makes good points. But I would add to say that I'm not surprised your DD has issues with the noise if she has been brought up by a mother who honestly thinks it's ok to complain about the detrimental effect on her child's education of another very young child's ventilator. FFS take a fucking look at yourself and sort yourself out so your daughter doesn't grow up like you.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 08/10/2012 20:21

ByTheWay - the OP's DD finds the noise "annoying" and says she "doesn't like it" but is otherwise happy and enjoying school, so it hardly sounds as if the noise is "unbearable" to her .

solidgoldbrass · 08/10/2012 20:25

Bloody hell there's some officious, self-righteous, pity-party whinyarsery on this thread. The OP's child is 4 and distressed. The OP is asking what can be done. Maybe this DD does have some sort of sensory/processing issue, maybe she's frightened of the machine, she is 4 years old. Just telling her to 'learn some empathy' is not going to ease her distress. As BTW says, it's surely worth having a word with the teacher and seeing if perhaps the DD can move seats or something.

SadPanda · 08/10/2012 20:26

YABBeyondU

Other than that, I'm at a loss as to what to say, I'm so utterly gobsmacked at you unreasonableness.

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