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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was IBU to have called the police re car seat?

76 replies

Everythingsgoingtitsup · 08/10/2012 13:13

Parked in sainsburys p&c space this morning, loading my shopping into boot when another car parks alongside me with a toddler, around 18 months / 2 years in back seat completely unrestrained. Not even a car seat in the car, not even an adult seatbelt round the child. Hoicked my judgy pants, finished loading my shopping, drove out of my space then started thinking, if they've not even bothered to get a car seat for the child, what else don't they do? Child had been left in car with a woman while two other adults went into shop. So I rang the police non emergency number. Waited a few mins, police turned up. Now I'm wondering if I was OTT? Should I have spoken to them myself? Not involved the police? Not sure whether to feel proud or silly? Was IBU?

OP posts:

LexiLoganberry · 08/10/2012 17:21

My PIL were looking after our DD for the afternoon when she was only 2 months old, they were out around the local town with her in her pram, she was asleep and because they didn't want to wake a sleeping baby they placed her in the carrycot of the pram onto the back seat of the car, they had the car seat with them. This really angers me, FIL says this is what we used to do when our children were babies, who cares it's now not legal and he says he'd a good driver, ffs it doesn't matter that he's a good driver, someone could of run into him.

I wish someone had called the police on them, they could of killed my child.

YANBU good on you, if they had a legit reason like an emergancy of some kind then they can explain that to the attending officers, better to be safe than sorry.

mamabanana · 08/10/2012 17:25

I think you were completely right to report them - I would have done the same. A few years ago I saw an older man driving down our road with child (probably grandchild) sat on his knee pretending to help him drive. I was so shocked I couldn't even manage getting the number plate. Thankfully I've never seen anything like that again!

ZombTEE · 08/10/2012 17:26

You should never ever restrain yourself and a child using one seat belt. In an accident you will crush your child.

CarpeJugulum · 08/10/2012 17:28

We have only ever carried DS unrestrained once in the car. And that was at 2am when we were on the way to A&E with him and it was more important checking on his breathing than having him strapped in (he was fine for the record!).

The law does allow for emergency transport for short distances without a car seat - I think to cover such occasions, but I don't think a trip to the supermarket would qualify really - especially as there were other adults in the car; so someone could have stayed at home/wherever with the toddler.

pumpkinsweetie · 08/10/2012 17:30

Yanbu op, you may have just saved the childs life in the future.
Seriously what sort of parent doesn't strap their child in let alone not bother putting them in a carseat if its their own car!!

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/10/2012 17:30

inneedofbrandy i belive that for the loophole to be relivant the journey has to be short undertaken in a emergency and unforeseen

tazzy65 · 08/10/2012 17:31

i think you did the right thing, well done you.

Themumsnot · 08/10/2012 17:31

Scaryboo - do you mean you strap the adult seatbelt around both yourself and DS? This is the most dangerous thing you can do. In the event of an accident you would crush him. Either hold him on your lap or put him in a separate adult seatbelt. But I don't understand in what circumstances you might be doing this regularly without any other choice.

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/10/2012 17:41

im also confused as to why you would not have a choice, obviously excluding emergency dash to docters/a&e, or midnight short notice flit from the mafia/husband/loan shark what possible other reason could you have?

caramelthewitchescat · 08/10/2012 17:50

I have a booster seat for my son, it's now in his grandma's car. We walk over to see her and she gives us a lift back, they did have one of their own but for reasons unknown they got rid of it.

It isn't a long journey but some of it is on a bypass and my Mum is a bit of a crazy driver. In the past they have had him in the back with the seatbelt on but with the strap under his armpit.

My Mum was also done for not wearing a seatbelt not long after it became law. Dozy mare worked right next to a police station and she was putting it on as she pulled out of the junction.

I can remember seatbelts in the car from a young age, there are pictures if when I was a baby and there were restraints in the car then ( mind you, I was born in Cyprus and there areq some crazy roads there)

caramelthewitchescat · 08/10/2012 17:51

are

Meglet · 08/10/2012 17:53

yanbu. I asked the police about this the other day (via twitter) and they said to ring and report via 101. Typically I haven't spotted one since.

CaliforniaLeaving · 08/10/2012 19:48

You were right to call.
One toddler died and one ended up in ICU just a couple weeks back near us. Neither was in a car seat one wasn't even in the seat belt. They were stopped in traffic and a tow truck rear ended them, not even their fault. But the Police are considering charging the driver with something over the kids not being in proper seats.

Salmotrutta · 08/10/2012 20:08

The "I never wore seat belts as a child and I never died" is just about the daftest argument going

It was only because it was not standard to have rear seatbelts fitted until around the mid 80s and baby car seats came in as standard around the same time.
Even before that I remember Princess Anne being roundly criticised for getting into the front of the car as she was leaving hospital holding her brand new son.

I'm also old enough to remember when the front seat belt laws came in (around the mid to late 70s?) and - oh the irony - Jimmy Saville used to do the Clunk Click, Every Trip adverts!

HappyJustToBe · 08/10/2012 20:26

You did the right thing in my view.

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2012 20:32

I remember in the early 80's a baby going through the windscreen of a car outside our house, the car was travelling at around 20 mph - it was horrific, that baby didn't die either - but had nasty scars from the impact and glass.
If the baby had been in a baby seat in the car the baby wouldn't have gone through the windscreen and wouldn't today have the scars to live with, instead of being in the mothers lap so she could give the baby a bottle.

BertieBotts · 08/10/2012 20:40

When it's raining, cold, dark, you're tired and your toddler is tired and you can't physically carry them home, and someone offers you a lift. Also Scary has some health problems herself IIRC which would exacerbate the situation.

I've done it a handful of times. Now DS is big enough for a booster I breathed a sigh of relief and ordered one of those portable ones which I can carry for emergencies. Although he's so tall he doesn't look out of place in an adult seatbelt now.

dysfunctionalme · 08/10/2012 20:50

Oh I'm glad you phoned police and that they showed up.

Similarly, I parked alongside a guy who was just popping his toddler into the FRONT seat, no carseat. I phoned police, not interested. And as I got off the phone, he crashed. Seriously.

He got out, didn't get her out so couldn't see but she hadn't gone through windscreen. Both cars quite badly damaged. I phoned police again. Again not interested. Suggested I email them.

I despair...

ScaryBOOAlot · 08/10/2012 20:53

I have a series of health conditions, mental and physical. My physical health can collapse (and regularly does) at any given moment, leaving me unable to walk. If I'm out with DS at this point I then don't have a choice other than to call a taxi, or a friend if I have no money with me.

I also tend to take DS to playschool in a taxi two out of three mornings a week because my pain is always worse in the morning, and my mental health is too.

He's either in his own seat belt or held on my knee whilst I have the belt on.

I'm aware of the risks, but sometimes I don't have a choice. Our local taxi firm also won't allow you to use car seats, although they also don't supply their own. Once he's big enough for a booster seat (he's nearly three, but quite diddy) I'll get one of those portable ones so I can take it with me wherever I go.

Shoshe · 08/10/2012 20:56

My DS had a car seat 35 years ago, it was a huge black thing that had to be fitted by Halfords, didnt go in with a seat belt, it was fitted to the chassis.

Before that we as children lived in Singapore, there we had rattan seats that hooked over the back of the back seat (or the middle of the bench front seat) but they wern't strapped in.

TheCunningStunt · 08/10/2012 21:07

You did the right thing.
I remember just in the summer a car pulled up beside the bank, a lady got out, leaving her very young baby in a car seat in the front, directly in the sunlight. She left the car and baby and went into the bank! No windows open...searing sun. I loitered waited outside the bank to make sure she wasn't too long . She was over 10 minutes! I was on the verge of calling the local police as she reappeared. I don't think having concern makes you a busy body. I wish more people were concerned in general.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 08/10/2012 21:17

Well done OP.

I always think about what the children's opinion would be if they were looking back at their own childhood - would they have been happy that a concerned adult "interfered"? In this case, probably.

RoomForASmallOne · 08/10/2012 21:22

Chaos

Ah... I get that now, didn't realise what you meant earlier!!

Plomino · 08/10/2012 21:33

Absolutely you did the right thing. One of the worst accidents I've ever been to was a relatively low impact one (ie under 30mph ) where the driver of the vehicle hit something else in front of him , and the 4 year old 'submarined' under the adult seatbelt and into the passenger footwell , via the dashboard . Yes she lived . With irreparable brain damage .

We turn up for such things because of the very real risk to vulnerable kids , who aren't the ones making choices over their safety .

Better to report . 'If only ...' are the saddest words I know .

BustersOfDoom · 08/10/2012 21:39

You did the right thing, I hate seeing children unrestrained in cars. It's just an accident waiting to happen. I was once a passenger in a 4x4 so quite high up so I could see into other cars and another car pulled up next to us at the traffic lights. The driver had a small baby laid across his lap! There were other children in the back but I can't remember now if the children in the back were in car seats I just remember being horrified by seeing that tiny little thing just laying there in front of the steering wheel and it would've have stood no chance in a crash. I took the registration number and called the police.

As this was in the days before the Data Protection Act the traffic officer who dealt with it called me back and told me they'd visited the chap at home and had ascertained he had no car seat suitable for a baby and had told him to get one fitted within 24 hours and to report to the station to show he had done so or they would visit him every week and put his number plate on the 'stop list' and pull him over every time they saw him on the road. I hope they did and I hope he got a car seat for the baby.

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