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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to have called the police re car seat?

76 replies

Everythingsgoingtitsup · 08/10/2012 13:13

Parked in sainsburys p&c space this morning, loading my shopping into boot when another car parks alongside me with a toddler, around 18 months / 2 years in back seat completely unrestrained. Not even a car seat in the car, not even an adult seatbelt round the child. Hoicked my judgy pants, finished loading my shopping, drove out of my space then started thinking, if they've not even bothered to get a car seat for the child, what else don't they do? Child had been left in car with a woman while two other adults went into shop. So I rang the police non emergency number. Waited a few mins, police turned up. Now I'm wondering if I was OTT? Should I have spoken to them myself? Not involved the police? Not sure whether to feel proud or silly? Was IBU?

OP posts:
percythepenguin · 08/10/2012 13:38

YANBU. Glad the police took it seriously! I have had to report a man who lives near me to the police for driving around with his grandchild (a toddler) on his knee, he was letting him hold the steering wheel and everything! Am pretty sure nothing was done as I saw him doing the same thing a few months later, I reported him again so hope something was done the second time!

RoomForASmallOne · 08/10/2012 13:40

Chaos Child was left with an adult inside the car Smile

chicaguapa · 08/10/2012 13:40

As I have pointed out to MIL, DH and DBIL didn't die in a car accident when they were younger because they didn't need car seats, it was because they weren't in a car accident!! Hmm

TittyWhistles · 08/10/2012 13:41

I've done this, our old neighbours had a very 70's attitude to car safety...ie none. I called the police as they regularly took their toddler out sat on mums knee in front passenger seat, neither wearing seat belts.

They got a talking to from the local community police about safety and the law and a voucher to get a cheaply car seat.

Nothing bad can come of contacting the police about child safety, IMO.

MrsApplepants · 08/10/2012 13:42

My family was in a serious crash in 1988. Dad had had seatbelts retro fitted in his car 6 months earlier in the back seats where myself and younger sister were sitting. We all survived. I would not be here now if he hadn't decided to have the seatbelts fitted. No excuse for no car seats these days. Well done OP for calling police, you may well have saved that child's life.

dottyspotty2 · 08/10/2012 13:47

Not being restrained is one thing but you don't really know if it was the parents car either, there are exceptions to the car seat rule eg if its an unexpected journey they could of gotten a lift but some sort of seat belt could of been used.

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/10/2012 13:48

I hate seeing lose children in the backs of cars, but then my parents were consider PFB in 1972 when they put me in a rear facing car seat. My younger sister and I sat in car seats till we were 8 years old.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 08/10/2012 13:48

I think my outrage stems from the fact they they abused the p&c system by the DC not leaving the car, RoomForASmallOne.

Smile
Original poster
Everythingsgoingtitsup · 08/10/2012 13:53

Oh I'm so pleased the MN jury doesn't have me down as an interfering busy body. I'm not a perfect parent by any stretch, but I don't gamble with what I'm not prepared to lose.
Chaos, I should have reported them to sainsbo's too for p&c space abuse

OP posts:
MyLastDuchess · 08/10/2012 13:59

I agree, you may have saved the child's life. You may also have saved someone else's life as unrestrained people can become 'projectiles' in a collision and hurt others. All in all you did the right thing.

If there was some reason why it was legal for them to transport the child without a seatbelt then they will have no problem explaining this to the police.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 08/10/2012 14:09

You did the right thing, and the Police clearly thought so as well.

You simply cannot compare things now with things back when we were kids. Traffic was lighter, cars were slower, but more importantly the death and serious injury toll fell dramatically when seatbelts in the rear and car seats were introduced.

From this link :
'Seat belts are conservatively estimated to have saved more than 300,000 lives and prevented more than 9 million injuries in highly motorised countries over the past 25 years;'

'Children under the age of four are ten times more likely to be killed in a car crash if unrestrained;
According to US research, child safety seats are 71 percent effective in reducing fatalities among infants (younger than 1 year old) and 54 percent effective for toddlers (1 to 4 years old) in passenger cars;'

Woozley · 08/10/2012 14:12

Not sure whether I would have done anything, but I think you did the right thing, OP.

Re child/car safety in general, I am not happy with those 7 seaters where the kids can sit right up against the back window. Doesn't look very safe if you get rear ended, which must be more common that and front end collision, though I guess most of them are at low speed, say at a roundabout.

Car seats only do so much, it's important that the car has a high safety rating, is well maintained, tread checked and of course the driver makes a big difference. I bet the police turned up because people who flout the law in minor ways often have bigger things to hide.

Original poster
Everythingsgoingtitsup · 08/10/2012 16:32

That's exactly what I thought woozley, that if they hadn't got the baby an appropriate seat, what other needs of his or hers might they not be meeting, iyswim.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 08/10/2012 16:37

At the end of the day if you had said something then you could have got a mouthful and put yourself in danger as you never know how people will react.

Was it your business I guess not but as someone said previously the police obviously thought it was an issue or they wouldn't have sent someone relatively sharpishly. I think you did the right thing if there was a genuine reason for them not having the seat in the car then that will be accepted

Shutupanddrive · 08/10/2012 16:55

YANBU

ScaryBOOAlot · 08/10/2012 16:59

I think you did the right thing.

DS sometimes goes on my knee in a car, but only when I don't have another choice. I'd never have him in there unrestrained.

bigsnugglebunny · 08/10/2012 17:04

YANBU I would absolutely do the same, and so would DP.

FenLondon · 08/10/2012 17:07

Yanbu - I took down details of a car we were driving alongside where the kids were larking about in the backseat - this on a major road. Rang the police non-emergency number the next day and got a (polite) telling off for not phoning then and there.

Newtothisstuff · 08/10/2012 17:09

Yanbu wish I could do it ! I'd be on the phone to them all the time. I live in a garrison town which is very diverse to say the least... I don't think they have any laws in the country they are from I see kids and babies on mums knees on front seats all the time it makes my stomach lurch Sad

fourfingerkitkat · 08/10/2012 17:12

Not unreasonable. I actually took the licence plate of a car about 6 months ago for the same thing and called the police. Couldn't give a flying if people think I'm a busybody....

MrsDeVere · 08/10/2012 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZombTEE · 08/10/2012 17:19

YANBU but I don't think it necessarily follows that no car seat = lapses in other ways.

We don't have a car so we don't have a car seat. The infrequent times we take a taxi, we don't use a car seat, just the belt.

And I just found out, while investigating what we will need for our son next year when we go to California, that in the US the law varies by state. If we were going to Florida, rather than California, he, by law, wouldn't need a seat as he'll be over 3. In California, he needs one until he's 5 or much bigger than he is, whichever comes first.

BlueberryHill · 08/10/2012 17:19

Scaryboo, why did you not have a choice?

It sounds very dangerous, if you have an accident, you go forward, DS goes forward and you squash him between you and either the dashboard or the seat in front? How do you restrain him?

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2012 17:19

I am amazed that the police turned up TBH - round here if you call the police for a crime it can take two to three days for a police person to turn up to investigate, though I have had two incidents where they have just telephoned instead.

KateShmate · 08/10/2012 17:21

YANBU OP, well done :)
I remember a few years ago we were travelling up to see family and got completely redirected so we had no idea where we were. We were on motorway when a car came past going about 90mph but had to slam on breaks because of traffic. There was a baby, I reckon around 12 months, climbing around in the back of the car - one minute she was crawling on the back parcel shelf, then would fall off into footwell. Then a few minutes later be walking along seats and climb back up onto parcel shelf.
After getting over the initial shock, the car sped off and we were going to ring police but, like I said, we had no idea where were and by the time police had tracked us down using signposts etc the family would have been long gone. Thinking back we should definitely have rung the police anyway, and wish we had now.

I think you should be proud OP!