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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little surprised as what the MW just said?

39 replies

bonzo77 · 07/10/2012 14:17

In hospital following a little bleed at 27 weeks. Possibly brought on by shagging on Thursday. So I mentioned we might give it a miss till baby is a bit nearer term as i cant deal with the stress. Otherwise very sweet MW said I shouldn't starve my DH, he might go elsewhere! I honestly doubt it!

OP posts:
thebody · 07/10/2012 14:18

Good grief, was she trying to make a poor joke?

McHappyPants2012 · 07/10/2012 14:19

Wtf

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2012 14:19

Perhaps she's speaking from experience?

Either way, it's a weird thing to say and she shouldn't have said it.

missmalteser · 07/10/2012 14:20

What on earth did you reply to that Shock

GoldShip · 07/10/2012 14:21

Very weird thing, I wasn't aware men could starve from lack of sex

Maybe she meant it in a very fecking stupid jokey way.

Not a good one mind

marriedinwhite · 07/10/2012 14:24

They've form for inappropriate comments haven't they?

GoldShip · 07/10/2012 14:26

^

'They'? Midwives? Think most professions have people that come out with inappropriate comments lets not tar all midwives eh?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/10/2012 14:27
Hmm

If you have bled at 27 weeks shouldnt she be advising you to avoid sex?

And women are not to blame for men cheating because they dont have sex with a valid reason. My god that attitude is ridiculous!

Original poster
bonzo77 · 07/10/2012 14:35

I said he'll manage, after all I will. And he will be too worn out from fetching and carrying for me and DS to think about it anyway. I do think she was serious though. She's otherwise lovely but I think I'll have to ignore most of what she says now!

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 07/10/2012 14:38

Actually GoldShip I haven't come across any other profession with quite the same capacity for inappropriateness. Casts mind back many years:

waves hand in air and says "if you don't do your pelvic floor exercises, your husband will be complaining sex feels like this"

"has this one got the same father as your first child"

"did you want it" after a mc

Doesn't quite equate to "The profit and loss statement indicates your company may be in trouble" from the accountant or "the entirely black hall stairs and landing may detract from the value of the property" from the estate agent does it really.

Original poster
bonzo77 · 07/10/2012 14:38

Don't know about "form" for odd comments from MWs. I think anyone can make them. Though I have been consultant lead this time and feel I have been treated with far more respect than with DS.

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 07/10/2012 14:38

Hope you are OK btw Bonzo

Hairytoe · 07/10/2012 14:41

One of my midwifes (with dc3) came to do the booking in appointment and gave me a leaflet on domestic violence saying '60% of domestic violence cases start when the woman is pregnant...so don't go winding him up" !

WorraLiberty · 07/10/2012 14:41

Everyone makes ill thought out comments at times.

GoldShip · 07/10/2012 14:41

Married - well since estate agents wouldn't be discussing pelvic floor exercises and sexual relationships no it wouldn't compare

But people in all professions make inappropriate comments, the subject matter may depend on the profession?

It's unfair to say theyve 'form'.

GoldShip · 07/10/2012 14:42

That's bloody terrible hairytoe ! Why in earth would anyone give those out. Why on earth would they be made?

GoldShip · 07/10/2012 14:43

How are you feeling now OP?

Hairytoe · 07/10/2012 14:45

Sorry the leaflet didnt say that, the midwife herself said that as she handed it to me. I just read my post back and I maybe didn't make that clear!

marriedinwhite · 07/10/2012 14:45

Well as they are discussing sexual relationships and other sensitive issues I think many of them need to do so a little more sensitively - just saying - because from experience they were a little too inappropriate a little too often in my experience and didn't know when to back off.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 07/10/2012 15:47

I think I would have commented he would be a poor man indeed if he can't restrain himself for 3 months for the sake of his child!
Can you imagine someone commenting that a woman going elsewhere because her other half had a condition that meant they couldnt have sex for 3 months? me neither. Sexist ridiculous comment and frankly insulting to most men.

Original poster
bonzo77 · 07/10/2012 15:53

Glad it wasn't just me being a bit Hmm!

Thanks for asking, all seems to be fine and should be home tonight, after a ctg and said MW inspecting my pad .

OP posts:
NervousAt20 · 07/10/2012 15:56

Shock I can't believe she would say something like that even in a "jokey" way. Hope your okay OP

fedupofnamechanging · 07/10/2012 16:08

OP, if you think she's bad, wait until you meet your Health visitor Wink

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 07/10/2012 16:49

My friend is a midwife working in the clinics and says they ask every pregnant woman about domestic violence and give her a leaflet. Some have partners who are very reluctant to leave their girlfriends/wives alone for a second and the midwives are very suspicious of those men. Virtually no woman admits it to the midwives, hence the leaflet.

Moominsarescary · 07/10/2012 17:01

Bloody hell, the last time we had sex was before I found out I was pg and I'm nearly 22 weeks. We won't be having sex until the baby is born.

Dp seems to be managing fine