to be a little bit terrified that I am having a baby in 3 days and no idea what to do with one?

[Aworryingtrend]

We are expecting DC1 on Tuesday and are beside ourselves with excitement..and fear! None of our friends have babies, there are none in the family so I have no frame of reference whatsoever. I am spending nights lying awake with my head full of what are probably very stupid questions:

1. Should I take a cuddly toy for the baby to the hospital? Im thinking its not like it will be able to play with it- or will s/he? I have no idea.
2. when im on my own with the baby in the house, if I need a wee do I take the baby with me?!

There are loads more daft questions im sure but I cant think of any more right now-baby brain.
Argh!

baby - that was me.
I didn't buy one.
but i wanted to because it's better than the 2 i took with my crappy mobile before the battery ran out (because no one bothered to check if my camera was in my bag, or my charger)(not laying blame - it really was a bit of a run in the night to the hospital!)

I was in the exact same position as you OP. Never so much as changed a nappy and no one at all to help other than equally clueless DH.

If your DC is a boy, when you take his nappy off, that might be his cue to wee - all over you, if you're not careful!. As you lift the front of the nappy off, just pop a finger or wipe etc on his willy so if he does wee, it'll run down into the nappy.

Whatever well-meaning people tell you 'advice' wise, nod and smile but follow your own instincts and do what works for you.

Good luck and enjoy!

what everyone else has said really

it is a lovely time - enjoy

i am v jealous

Nothing beats those few days before your first baby arrives. I'm v jealous too, but only because I know how incredibly exciting it all is and how fabulous those first weeks/months are with your pfb.

1. Yes, take a soft toy if you want but the baby won't mind either way.

1. It very much depends on the baby and how you feel, as well as the set up of your house. I wouldn't worry too much about tbh. You'll find your own way when the time comes.

Lastly, enjoy this precious time. It really is an amazing time.

I once read in a baby magazine that if your baby is crying, it's almost always one of three things. S/he is hungry, needs changing or is tired.

This is the most helpful advice I think I had for a very tiny baby.

it is isn't it tail?
i spent my time like this lounging on my bed reading magazines and eating sweets knowing this would be the last time i would be able to do this for about......oh twenty years

The main things are to

• accept any help that people offer
• allow visits to be short and sweet. point them in the direction of the kettle and ask them to bring lunch/milk/food shopping
• wee in the bath if you tear during labor!
• expect the house to be a mess and roll with the lack of sleep
• go for a walk if you feel a bit blue or phone someone
• don't read too much into baby weight loss/gain.
• stay calm and quiet and confident, the baby will take this on
• make some new baby friends, you will all go through the same stuff (walking weaning, sleeplessness etc) at the same time generally

Cuddly toy - I agree with previous posters, maybe nice for a photo but not essential, baby won't notice.

Wee - pop baby in his/her playpen or cot for a minute, perhaps near the bathroom door if you can; we were kindly given a small cot on wheels (a 'moses' is it called??) and it was easy to carry and/or wheel to the bathroom door where I could still talk to ds while I was going about my business.

Sleeping bags are the gift of god! Especially now we're heading into winter, we wouldn't have been without ours and now have bigger ones for this winter (ds is now 10 months).

Insist that any visitors bring food! I keep banging on about this on other threads, but really, it makes a heck of a lot of difference!

I was in your shoes, didn't know one end of the baby from the other! You have to be careful washing round the umbilical cord until it turns black and falls off, that was a bit unexpected for me. Also to wash around it with an alcohol solution and re-wrap gauze around it. Nice.

Babies are made of rubber, so it's surprisingly easy to get them in and out of babygros. Our winter baby HATED having a bath no matter the temperature of the room and our calming coos - until I just climbed in with him (he even hated the plastic bath on the dining table). Newborns don't need bathing every bloody day, like I thought, so if your little one doesn't like it to start with, don't worry, it'll soon pass.

2. I used to have a fantastic wind up musical mobile for DS which lasted exactly the time it took me to have a poo. I'd stick him in the cot, start the mobile going, dash to the bathroom and be out to scoop him up just as the final chimes were sounding.

Something unrelated but we never really know what it's going to be like: I had my DS at home and his umbilical cord didn't stop bleeding for 3 weeks. Midwife and HV called occasionally so, as advised, I just mopped it and took him to our GP who cauterised it.

I would really recommend "First time parents" ( or something like that) by Lucy Atkins. It was the one baby guide book I found which talked about the first couple of days after the birth. Was in my local library - maybe worth a flck through if you have time

But apart from that- MN was and is my lifeline.

Lollopy - DH had an identical moment!

DD safely delivered, he was handed her while they stitched me up. Then we were left alone for an hour or so to just stare at her - I did most of the holding. Then they came to get me and asked me if I wanted a bath or shower. I opted for a bath so was taken along to the bathroom (to sit and stare in horror at my saggy stomach!).
Meanwhile, DH was taken back to the ward with DD in the plastic cot thing, and left by my bed. I finally emerged about half an hour later, to find him sitting on my bed staring transfixed at DD, with his hand resting an inch or so above hers. I eased myself onto the bed and he said "Can I hold her?" I stared at him, so he said "There aren't any nurses around to ask if I can or not." I had to gently point out she belonged to him and if he wanted to pick her up and hold her for the rest of her life that would be fine (except she would start to object when she got hungry!). He stayed a bit awkward about it while we were in hospital - once we got home he stopped asking for permission! I don't know if he thought he'd be told off by the nurses- but there are some very sweet hospital notes (that I wish I'd photocopied before they took away) where they were sticking their heads round every so often just to see how we were doing. There were about three notes in a row which said "Baby quiet, being cuddled by Daddy."

As for anything, the 5 P's applies to babycare: perfect preparation prevents piss poor performance You probably have some idea what you're doing (instinct, etc) but it is really worthwhile to do a bit of research so you know what's happening at each stage. Going in cold will result in pointless tears for both you and baby. Go out and invest in a book! I found Tracey Hogg's the BabyWhisperer very useful, as it described what a baby needs for food, sleep, winding etc. A one week old is different to a four week old is different to a 3 month old.

Number 1 advice: newborns may only be awake for 20 mins before they're tired again. They really need a lot of sleep. When they let out a little cry, pick em up, feed em, cuddle them for a few minutes then swaddle them and put them right back down to bed. This is the case even if you've got rows of well-meaning relatives and visitors wanting a cuddle. Your job is to protect your baby's precious need for sleep!

..... Ahem, it's been three days.

I love this thread. It's so positive :)

1. I hope I'm too late to answer. If not then do if you want to, don't if you don't. You'll get given a million. If you do then be sure to being it out at their wedding.

1. Leaving them is fine, if they have horrendous reflux and can't lie flat get a sling and learn to hold the tails put the way while you wee.

No matter how much preparation you do there will be moments you have no clue. I have qualifucations and all sorts, specialising in the care if very tiny babies. I could reel off how much milk/sleep/wee/poo/whatever was expected.

We got DS out the car when we got home from the hospital, I showed him round the house, then I fed him, then I popped him in the carrycot where he dozed off and stayed sleeping for 3 hours. I panicked. He wasn't supposed to sleep that long, maybe he was ill, maybe we broke him on the way home... DH had to call his boss to speak to his boss's wife (they have 5 kids, we were abroad) toask if it was normal. When she finished laughing she told us to enjoy it while it lasted. I look back now and think how incredibly stupid I was but OMG the fear. Utterly normal. DS is 18 months and still fully functional!

And yes. OP?!

As everyone else said, don't panic, most first time mums are a bit clueless, it comes with the territory. Newborn babies are surprisingly easy to look after. Write a list of reasons why they might be crying.
Hungry, wet/dirty nappy, wind, tired, too warm/cold, wanting a cuddle. That's about it for the first 6 weeks. You feed one end, and clean the other end regularly, make sure they are warm enough and get lots of cuddles and you should be fine. They start to get more interested in toys and interacting some time between 4 and 6 weeks, but by then you will have mastered the essentials and be ready for more interesting times.
Toddlers are a whole other ball game though, logic doesn't apply to them.

Hello! DS is now a week old and so far we are all surviving . Its been amazing, I cant beleive how fantastic he is [biased much]. As you all said, its a matter of keeping him fed, clean, warm and cuddled and so far so good. He's sleeping loads which helps- I know that could change any time though! Thanks for all your advbice, I have been trusting my instincts and touch wood haven't mucked up too badly so far. Watch this space!

Congratulations!!!

Yay!

Congratulations!!!

Congratulations :o

YANBU. I felt the same. First time I ever put a nappy on a baby was with my dd! (its easy, if you are wondering this)

Dont bother taking a toys - baby will only be interested in cuddle and boob/bottle for the first month at least

Leave baby safely ensconced in a moses basket/bouncy chair nearby while you wee.

....just saw you have had baby! Congrats :D

So good to hear you are enjoying it all. xx