to be a little bit terrified that I am having a baby in 3 days and no idea what to do with one?

[Aworryingtrend]

We are expecting DC1 on Tuesday and are beside ourselves with excitement..and fear! None of our friends have babies, there are none in the family so I have no frame of reference whatsoever. I am spending nights lying awake with my head full of what are probably very stupid questions:

1. Should I take a cuddly toy for the baby to the hospital? Im thinking its not like it will be able to play with it- or will s/he? I have no idea.
2. when im on my own with the baby in the house, if I need a wee do I take the baby with me?!

There are loads more daft questions im sure but I cant think of any more right now-baby brain.
Argh!

nickeldaisical are you the same nickel who had a baby 'isbn' home-birthing thread last year?? (ex-nickelbabe)

People will give you toys, don't buy one for hospital- but it is quite cute to take a photo of the baby with a toy next to them reasonably soon after you come home. Then when the baby is a strapping three year old, they can look at the photo, and the toy, and marvel at how small they were.

You don't need a teddy but a mobile that will hang above basket or bouncy chair can be nice. They will start to look at that from very early on. I found dd2 would settle much better with a mobile above her.

Yabu, you'll just know what to do, honestly. I had my DS when I was 19, had no experience with babies, no family help, and very little input from my partner at the time. I was really worried too, a million questions went through my head but as soon as he was here everything was fine. The nurses show you how to breast or bottle feed baby, how to change a nappy, and how to bath them. They are all the important things, everything else you pick up on the way.

Plus you've got the infinite wisdom of mumsnet here to help

I have a DD who's 4 and still have no idea what I'm doing! She's still alive so I must have done something right tho! lol I've also had a similar melt down recently, I'm 24 wks preg and can't remember how babies work! At least the 4 yr old can talk absolute bollocks and tell you what she wants.

Ah yes going to the toilet in peace (it's been a long time!) and enjoy baths with the door closed in peace while you can to! Only this morning I had an uninvited guest strip off and get in the bath with me!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine, and feel free to pm me with your 'stupid' questions

You could get one of those black and white cot bumpers to give baby something interesting to look at, but it isn't necessary.

What about a poo? Those things can take 20 minutes

Course it's not having a wee, it's having a shower that's the real killer. Nobody ever tells you these things in the books do they?

If it makes you feel better I have a 9 year old dd and a 15 week old ds and I still have no clue what I'm doing !!!

Babies are no problem when it comes to going for a wee. It's when they become toddlers you want to shackle them to you!

Good luck x

I recall telling DD when she was very tiny and didn't understand me and i was running to the toilet at the time because of my shot pelvic floor "I can't feed you or see to you when i'm desperate for the loo - I love you and you're the most important thing, but I have to wee first"
as she cried (in that tiny quiet way that newborns do god i miss the lack of volume )

Teddies are dust collecting germ factories
If you want to take your baby when you wee it's fine. If you don't it's fine too.

I have 5 babies, go on ask me, ask me anything....

I have done having them now and DS1 is not interested in my pearls of wisdom...
please ask

vamosbabe - that's me

(hover over me, you'll see)

I don't mean I have quins btw

I totally agree squeaky, playpens are a godsend! Eventually the little buggers get big enough to climb out though

I don't think you are at all alone!

You'll be fine. Most of it is instinct e.g. feed it, keep it clean and warm, love it.

The latter one enables you to deal with the first two at all times of day

If you balls up on any of the above the baby has ways and means of letting you know , so you just try something else until it's resolved.

Get someone else to take care of feeding you, keeping you clean (laundry) and warm and to take care of you while you recover and rest, so that you can focus on the baby.

re cuddlies. If there is something that someone has given you already which has meaning then by all means take it with you to the hosp (I took the little monkey that DS2's older brother had chosen for him). It won't do any harm.

Good luck.

My oldest is adopted. Having tried for years to get pregnant, and then been assessed for years more, we eventually got a phone call to say they had a baby for us.

So off we trotted three days later (having only bought a car seat and three baby-gros, as we didn't want to tempt fate), and they gave him to us and told us to bring him home.

It was only when we got home, I realised that in all the years of questions, interviews, medical treatment etc no-one had ever asked me did I know how to look after a baby. I had never made up a bottle or changed a nappy. His instructions said "Baby X has 5 8-oz bottles a day. He likes his bath. He cries a lot".

That was it.

I panicked and rang my mum . But I survived and so did he

Someone else said Grobags..... yes a definite must in my opinion. Blankets are just a lot of faffing about and you'll spend the whole time worrying about them pulling them over their head.

Play gyms are great from about 8 weeks ish as they love to look at the toys and it's gives you somewhere interesting to put them while you shower (for all of 4minutes before play gym becomes boring)!!!!

Oh and not all babies want to sleep non stop during the early days. Ds went for ....12 hours straight awake at 6 weeks. Just literally would not sleep whatever we did. And we tried it all.

Now 15 weeks he will sleep 10 hours at night but only 1 hour in two naps during the day ! :)

maryzed

OP, please don't worry, I am sure you will be fine. I knew nothing about babies before the arrival of DS1, I didn't read any baby books and didn't know any babies. We bumbled along just fine. Ok, so maybe I should have thought to clean behind his ears before it was pointed out to me but other than that I can't think of any particularly spectacular lapses in my Mothering skills.

Babies are all so different so just do what works best for you and your baby.

have you been reading the baby care books/magazines/ MN?

You really should know that stuff by now.

If you have any other question though just put them on here- everyone knew nothing to start with and it's better late than never to find out this stuff.

mary I was the same with Ds2 even though I had babies already.
I bought this scrap home from the court and just sort of looked at him!
I knew about bottles and stuff but I didn't know anything about him.

It was a very odd feeling.

We took a toy, but only because my MIL sent it from New Zealand, so we wanted it in the photos to show her, before she got to meet her new grandchild.

At first, babies don't really roll, so as long as it's safe you can leave it to go and wee, make a cuppa, make a sandwich etc etc.

It doesn't take long until they start to really roll, and then you have to be a bit more careful. That's more when you are into 'strapped into bouncy chair in the corner of the bathroom' territory. There will be that heart-stopping moment when you come into the room and see an empty space under the play-gym, and then hear a chuckle from under the sofa - you didn't know your baby could roll that far...!!

Whatever happens, you will wait for months until you are brave enough to take a shower when you are by yourself in the house with the baby. You will reason it will be fine - after all, you've waited for DH to be home every other time for the last eight months and every time, the baby has slept through anyway. He's away for a night, but it'll be fine.
Only that will be the first time ever that the baby will scream blue murder, ideally as soon as you have a hair full of soap... 'tis life!

My best friend and I have the idea that everyone was given a manual on child rearing but they forgot to give us ours so we make it up as we go along.

I got the midwives to show me how to nappy change about 4 times before I tried myself, and even then the first time I had my dad with me.

My kids are now 12 and 9 and they have survived despite my parenting - I have discovered that kids are more resilient than you think, and that your instinct will kick in more often than you think it will.

Also, when dd was about 2 weeks old dh said something about "but you are her mum, don't you know what to do? Didn't you learn it in school or something?" At that stage I made sure he knew that I might be her mum, but he was her dad and he had just as much clue as I did, and that, no, I didn't learn about childcare in school just through being female".

oh good luck OP!

My baby is 3 weeks old and i am totally winging it. The 1st 2 weeks i wouldn't go to the loo or eat unless he was sleeping, which meant i had some accidents and was faint with hunger. DP said to me i was going to have to just lay him somewhere safe and let him cry. Which i do now. It goes against everything to do that but i think you just have to.

I have no idea about anything else tho and like another poster said i have bombarded MN with posts about bfing and umbilical cords.

I also have only 'fallen in love' with DS in the last couple of days. So i would say don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately (i thought i was never going to and got quite upset, i was focusing on all the things i had to do). Now i just say fuck the house work and sit on the sofa cuddling him :)

Someone mentioned the bounty woman - don't let her anywhere near your baby. She will take your details, sell your soul to the devil, and you'll be stuck with junk mail and calls for the next ten years. Oh, and then you'll feel obliged to buy their photos because it's one of your babies first

I had no idea when ds1 was born and was living abroad and no family. I remember the day after the birth watching the mum who was next to me change her baby's nappy and just copied her. The rest was reading from books, copying other people and instinct he's 11 now and all seems to be well