To think (hope) Eastenders portrayal of social services (Lexi & Lola story) is wrong?

[MoonlightShadows]

I am watching it at the moment and am finding the Lexi/Lola storyline quite disturbing, I can't imagine social services really carry on like this and think it's an unfair portrayal.

MrsDevere :) x

MrsDevere :) x as well

I give not a flying toss what shera says anyway.

Obv a SS sockpuppet

i find this storyling upsetting too :(

Things - You have obviously had a bad experience with SS, and that must have been horendous for you - however - that it not the case all round - there is good and bad in every profession, be that medical, social services, anything. The point is, Social workers are trained now, anyway ( I can't talk for before this as I only did my training 5 years ago) to be empathetic, encouraging, and empower people. This means supporting people to look after their children, as, as so many of you rightly pointed out, the best place for a child is usually with the parents. The sad fact of the matter is, there are some parents who do mistreat their children. And there are some children who are neglected. This can be very hard to prove, and the difficulty is, when suspicions aren't acted apon, SW's are strung out to dry because of children like Baby P, and tradgedies can happen.

Another role of SS is to support parents, even with no child protection concerns. Unfortunately, the great british public decided to vote in a government who have cut social care budgets. Meaning there is no money in the pot, and voluntary organisations are going under.

I think, whatever the experience with SS, the fact is, it is irresponsible for them to broadcast a programme which makes out that there is no process, and that a SW can just take a baby away for such minor things, with no court hearing, etc. This, coupled with the disgusting portrayal put out there by the media, means that people who genuinely need help, and without that help, could end up having difficulty in caring for their children, will be frightended to report to social services.

But its because of people like me that you ARe being trained to be that way, don't you understand?
SS isn't an old profession it began unregulated as a bunch of busybody old women and went from there to the power it has today.

I am not alone.

And the SS are not alone, in my own case i could tell you things that
Solicitors
Counsellors
Clinical Psychologists/Expert Witnesses
Medical
The Guardian/CAFCASS
Contact Centre Workers
Foster Carers
and Police..
did that was unlawful, brushed under the carpet, ignored, crimes by commission and omission, bullying, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse.

(telling DD she was definately coming home then pulling the plug was the worst)
Telling parents they can't say Love you/miss you/want you home/ or show any emotion or contact gets stopped.
Not making any effort to place with relatives.
Performing Psych assessment on a parent under huge stress already and during the added stress of a court case about sexual abuse where they were a lead witness, not including that fact in the report but saying off the record it would have no bearing on the outcome when in FACT thats why they ask if you have moved house, lost any close members of your immediate family, ect.
Refused to investigate a child held incommunicado with no familial contact after she had disclosed sexual abuse by a foster carer.
The lies, the lies told were ridiculous.

So if i went through all this and more, was i simply unlucky?

My complaints changed a lot of things, fundamental things within the SS department. things that would improve service users and their parents lives when in contact with the SS. But why? Were they just waiting for some kind of guinea pig to come along that would fight back and tell them of their fuck ups?

Why was my family broken and twisted apart by their fuck ups?
And i will NEVER get an apology, ever.

So this is my 'payback' i will sing and dance and tell everyone who will listen or who is suffering, that its true, it does happen, like the other stuff in the media at the moment, which no one would have believed a few years ago, it will come out, through people like me.

I said before and i will say again, i am not alone.

On the subject of this thread, SS don't like it because they usually advise tv programmes and soaps on 'social workers' they got left out of this one and are being made to look rotten to the core. Well, some of them are. If they are found unsuitable for the job in RL their team leader or anyone supervising them should sack them not just move them sideways.

You can't have a profession that takes innocent families children in the vain hope that they won't miss a child from a truly abusive family. Thats like taking ten dolphins to catch one tuna.

Because those children's lives are ruined, too. My DD's life was ruined. She has told me that she was never happy, and cried every day she was in FC, she's spent most of the last 11 years retreated to her room, crying and upset.

She told me this tonight btw, when she showed me the 'life story' work they had done. There was barely anything in it.

They disgust me. Crap right to the end.

People like me playing our faces and standing up to you lot to get our babies back is what is making sure you get trained properly

And you lot still fuck up labelling abused children being gang raped as prostitutes

"as a bunch of busybody old women"

It developed (or rather the law did/does) after the death of so many children at the hands of their carers (both birth and taken in after the war).

SW's don't live in boxes when they are not at work, now they come from various backgrounds who have had the life experiences, including having SS/SW's in their own lives.

That is often forgotten and assumed different.

things you just reminded me of something, many years ago before i owned my own org i worked for the gov (dv work) my maneger was seconded to us from ss. she was a nightmare bully and due to how bad (she actually punched a staff member) she was a tribunal was involved she was not able to stay with us but ss just promoted her and moved her to the edt.

i had actually forgotten about her how i dont know because she was a nightmare.

Thank God there was a 'busy body' around for the child that i had to look at the pictures of, taken whilst the child recovered in hospital.

It is a pity that we cannot discuss old cases.

I am reunited with a relative, who i didn'y know about, brought up in foster care, because her mother didn't want her to be placed with a family member, nor would she allow an adoption.

The birth mother has rejected her again and i am her only means of support, she is totally messed up by her mothers selfish actions.

I can accept that she couldn't/wouldn't care for her, but the outcome could have been different (MH wise) if the mother had not been given as much power as she was.

I don't disagree that they don't have their place.
If i may.
I struggle with my relationship with DD due to piss poor social work and equally piss poor amounts of contact, i never had staying contact and until she returned we had been set at once per month for a whole day. They never responded to requests to up this amount, i found out later that for 2 years she had hidden away in her room hardly socialising, and hadn't had an allocated SW for about the same length of time.
She doesn't know how to cook, clean, budget, if it wasn't for school and later college, she wouldn't have left the house, if not on a contact.
At that placement she was preyed on by the boyfriend of the FC's DD, 10 years DD's senior, who hadn't been crb checked or vetted in any way, he kept kissing her and did everything short of full sex, when i brought it up with the FC, it was denied. They accused DD of trying it on with HIM and he blatantly lied and said the same even though i had seen the texts from him to DD.
DD was then moved to a supportive halfway house type of thing. She returned home after being threatened to have her face smashed in by the FC there, as the FC pushed her against a wall out of frustration at taking DD to be tested for aspergers or autistim and DD wouldn't talk to the woman they took her to see.
So as i say due to piss poor contact arrangements, she returned home after being threatened, we have no support and the relationship is strained, mainly due to not knowing each other very well, and her being brought up a different way. She won't help round the house, she is demanding money wise and entertainment wise, she can't budget, or cook, and refuses to learn. She is going to be in for a big shock when she gets her own place, that's for sure.

No one has done her ANY favours.

I guess what i'm saying is it would be easy for me to walk away from DD especially when she says 'You're my bio mum, but not really my mum, you didn't bring me up'
BUT we are working hard on our relationship, it will never be mum and daughter, she has no one, and i mean no one, that have been a constant in her life. I tried to be but limited to getting what contact someone made up their mind we needed/deserved/should have, and after every complaint i was punished by not seeing her, after every court date, if contact was due, they would cancel it, because i may be 'raw' .. i never talked to DD about the case so that was imaginary.

I can not be the only one.
I know i'm not.
I know DD isn't the only one.
She wasn't treated cruelly, shouted at, hit, made to feel worthless, have a mum who took drugs or drank alcohol, not burnt with cigarettes.
She was born to a mum who was sexually abused, then got sexually abused herself.
Then she went into care and was sexually abused, kicked, beaten, stamped on, pushed into walls, sworn at, moved all over the place when people decided they no longer wanted her, disclosed things to people who endangered her by disclosing to the accused person, and then leaving her in the placement with that person, twice, once by a SW and once by a contact supervisor.
In what world or in what corner of it is any of that fair?

SS constantly breach the human rights act.
I'd love to know how they get away with that.
I got more contact after showing them my draft statement to the EHCR, when i had been prevented from seeing DD at all for a year following granting of the CO.

And avoiding issues is not making the SS look any better. I happened. The parents on the Justice site happened. Jimmy Savile happened. Rochdale happened. Islington. Children in care are at risk more from predators in responsible positions when seperated from their parents or people who care about them. Care home abuse scandals abound. these kids are taken, and once the coveted prize is won, they are dumped and not given a flying shit about.
Most have no allocated SW or an advocate. I tried to get one for DD, they said she had to phone them herself.. ah yes but she's not allowed to use the phone?!?! Oh well, they said, we can't help. Then when she DID phone them, the SS told them she didn't require one and off they trotted without even asking DD. What were they afraid she might tell an advocate??????????

You answer glossing over answers that other people have given, ignoring evidence that in some cases the busybodies are spiteful, nasty, predatory, liars, perjurors, they make things up to meet thresholds so they don't have to admit to making a mistake, and the threshold is so woolly they have no problem achieving their aim.
DD is worse off for her experience in care, not better. A whole heap of care leavers end up homeless, with no qualifications,jobless, in prison, often with a trail of adopted babies behind them.
Tell me i'm wrong.
Tell me the busybodies didn't save those kids to end up feeding them into a mincer and REALLY fucking their lives up, their futures, keeping them in a job though i guess as those fucked up kids go on to have more fucked up kids. Generations of families brought up in the care system.

Now we're back to the point of the OP.

LOLA brought up in care, her mum, brought up in care, her grandad, brought up in care. Baby taken away after she was watched from the moment it was born.

Doesn't happen in real life, right?

DP's family, a 13 year old has a baby. No SS involvement.
That's one.

A friend of my younger brother, brought up in care. Got pregnant shortly after leaving care. Baby 1 adopted. Baby 2, adopted. Baby 3, adopted. Baby 4, adopted. Baby 5 (bear in mind she is in her early 20's by now) someone in power decides to give her a chance. She goes to a MBU. she isn't happy about being watched over, and criticised, so tells the staff to get lost and allow her to care for her baby and i quote 'without breath on the back of my neck, or bumping my elbow on the supervisor' .. the baby was immediately removed, she was thrown out. Baby 5 adopted. Tired of being a baby farm, and never being allowed to keep a baby, she commits suicide. She told me once that her babies were removed at birth and placed for adoption because she was considered not to be a good mum due to her upbringing in care homes She had been in care from the age of 7, taken from a druggie mum.

Strange, huh, comparing the two.

Sorry.. Pixie.. nothing surprises me sweet, they are capable of a lot of things.

If her initials were MH take comfort in the fact she was nearly scared to death by a snake in a contact room.

And if any SW here thinks that i'm wrong in what i say, that it doesn't happen, think about the cover up at hillsborough, which it took the families of the 96 20+ years to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, to possibly get justice. Imagine, the scale of corruption, lies, covering up, damage limitation, how many police officers were involved, any one of those could have whistleblown and they didn't.

Eventually the SS will be called up on all their mistakes and subsequent cover ups too.
It'll be too late for the lives already ruined though.
One day it will all be open and then trust me, EE's interpretation of social workers will be known as fairly accurate in some cases.
The SW's involved should be hauled over the coals for breaking up families.

Very soon :)

I believe you Things. Had mostly good experiences but they do like to feel they power over me sometimes. No CP involved with us, disability SW. They are nosey. Feels very intrusive at times and they question my reasons for tbibgs. Totally paranoid they are.

Thank you! FWIW, The ones i had the best experiences with, didn't always agree with me, or do things i particularly liked, or wanted, but they were straight, and honest, and kind, they didn't get all 'we can do this whether you like it or not' and they were supportive to both me and DD.

They were cheeky bastards as well.
The one came to visit whilst i was out, and decided to have a nosey through the kitchen window at the back. According to neighbours she did a linford christie over the garden gate with my dogs hot on her heels some feat as she was a bit on the chubby side.

The only evidence i had was a chewed up sensible shoe, which i bagged up and returned.

They don't like you being intrusive back. They told me i wasn't allowed to know DD's address, i used to tell them i already knew. I would know no matter where they moved her. It used to piss them off royally.
They couldn't work out how i did it.
All the contacts being supervised helped me one time, when a SW accused me of 'telling DD to do things with your mind' errr what? As in, telepathically?? They had some STRANGE employees, imo.

Don't back down. They have a duty to help you.
Not to bloody question you. Get a copy of their framework for intervention, a copy should be available in the library.
Its a folder full of (used to be in my day anyway) different coloured papers each coloured section pertains to a different situation i forget exactly what its called but i obtained my own copy which also royally pissed off the SS.

Statutory organisations that work with children have a duty under Section 11 of the Children Act 2004 to ensure their functions are discharged with regard to the need to safeguard and promote the welfare of children.

Make sure they meet their responsibilities towards your DC's x

.Of course in real life social workers are far far WORSE than the one shown in East Enders who was far nicer than the horrible lot in real life ! Social workers are nearly all cruel,overbearing,heartless ,dictators who actually enjoy taking children from mothers who love them .In real life Lola?s baby would have been marked down for future adoption immediately.Proper procedures? Government statistics show that interim care orders are granted against parents more than 97%successfully and parents have no chance in biased courts at all.The ?SS? just laugh at the idea of child welfare and concentrate on topping their new ?adoption scorcards? as priority;When a child is continually beaten like baby p he is poor adoption material and left to die ,but for example a mother who grew up in care and was raped in care has her baby confiscated at birth for ?risk?.Highly paid charlatans (experts) are regularly drafted in to the family courts to diagnose borderline personality disorders as well as making forecasts (with crystal balls?) of risk if a baby is left with a loving mother with no criminal record or substance addictions.What about older children also ?at risk of emotional abuse?? When children aged 6-12 are taken into care they are treated worse than the worst criminals.Their mobile phones and laptops confiscated to isolate them from family and friends.Parents are allowed closely supervised contact only if they sign an undertaking not to say they love and miss them or want them home,not to discuss the case,not to speak a foreign language to foreign children,not to cry or show undue emotion etc etc .Murderers and rapists are allowed phone calls out from prison and visitors with uncensored conversation but these poor children (often taken when half asleep in the middle of the night) are denied these basic facilities. What should be done? Child cruelty should once again be a matter for the police and the criminal courts not the ?ss? and their kangaroo family courts.That is how it used to be and it was much better;

The above was also my reply to the angry social worker on ?Community care? but will they dare post it? NO !!

"Social workers are nearly all cruel,overbearing,heartless ,dictators who actually enjoy taking children from mothers who love them."

Yes, dear you keep thinking that. Perhaps you could stretch your brain (if you have one) and realise that child protection teams are only one part of SW anyway.

Unfortunately, none of this is new either, DH was brought up in care (50s/60s)as were two of his brothers...all were abused either in homes or by FC. His eldest brother forced to eat vomit!! Later as an adult he and his exw applied to foster a relatives little boy and they were refused on the grounds that they were brought up in care and couldn't parent although they had a daughter themselves!
DH has always distrusted HV/SW/GPs/police/judiciary etc, for years he was convinced they existed to provide perverts with children..although excepts that may have been a bit of an extreme view now! Although when I had pnd I couldn't get help as he was terrified they would take our kids.
It will be interesting to see how the BBC play out the storyline and whether it will have any impact on campaigns to open up the sysem to scrutiny.

I also think it will be interesting, boaty.

Sorry to hear about your DH being abused in care :(

I believe him x

Its amazing.. people 'rescued' by them who don't want to accept their 'help' because they know what it used to mean.. i will say that recently, things have improved, but, there must be still bad apples in that profession, simply because they are so short staffed they MUST overlook some behaviour in order to keep a qualified SW at the risk of them being an absolute nob to service users.

forcedadoption

I agree with a lot of what you say but not that all Social workers are nearly all cruel,overbearing,heartless ,dictators who actually enjoy taking children from mothers who love them. That simply isn't true, sorry, and i have had the worst nightmare bitches and the really good ones with a genuine desire to help keep families together.
Using some of the language you do, will alienate anyone immediately from reading your more valid points. Take it from someone who used to do things that way. It gets you nowhere demonising them ALL when it truly is only the few.

It shouldn't be a lottery, they shouldn't tell lies, blatant lies, concentrate on getting things changed so that meetings are recorded on tape ect, things that will help to point out the rotten apples and the SS need to pull on their big girl panties and sack anyone who brings them into disrepute because it stops people seeking help when they need it.

Hi,

I cannot believe what negative feedback Eastenders have been getting from some of the people on here, regarding the Lola Story line, it is completely accurate. I grew up in Care (almost 18years of my life) under Newham Social Services, although, my parents did neglect me, the Social Worker portrayed in the story was like the ones I had, many, others will tell you the same thing.
Even now, I still do not have peace of mind over what happened to me, in Care.
I have never been given any help or understanding, Newham appear to have lost my Child Care Files, which had been promised to me, believe me, I have done everything, to get hold off them. The story line upset me, for, all the right reasons. I know of many couples, whose children have been wrongly taken a way from them, sometimes, they never get them back. Social Services have way too much power. These are heart breaking situations that should never had come about.

Stopped watching EE after the whole bianca being so skint even though child benefit etc is available. This new storyline doesn't surprise me one bit, funny how social services didn't step in when bianca was feeding her kids baked beans for breakfast, dinner and tea.....

sure is, social services don't seem to give a flying fuck in my very recent experience :(

AnnMarks, you have complained to the information commissioner i take it, about your missing files?

And i am looking into approaching a solicitor about what happened to DD and its all looking positive, but DD isn't ready.
Have you considered using the complaints procedure to address what you went through in care? If no joy there you can exhaust the complaints procedure then go to independent panel then onwards from there.

I say this although i had two complaints officers dealing with my numerous complaints yet one said i had exhausted the complaints procedure, and the other said 'no you haven't' and never put the complaints through to anyone else, instead dragging them out until they finally turned round and said they weren't accepting any new complaints from me, leaving me nowhere to complain to.
The police didn't want to know, they never even checked that DD was ok.

This cover up culture isn't just something that happened a long time ago, its still happening, and i know a lot of people who have said paperwork has gone missing or been accidentally destroyed. I thiank the lord that i managed to get hold of most of DD's with a few notable exceptions by making a DPA request.

Hi,
Thank you for your comments. Its kind of you to reply back to me. I'm glad that you were able to get most of your files. I am not sure, whether, I have complained to the information commissioner, as, I've did online complaints, as well as written ones, I am too thinking about a solicitor, if I can get free advice.
I am talking about 30 odd years ago. Sadly, I can see, that, not a lot has improved as far as social services go. The only, way, the police might help, if, I told them what happened in care to me. Its that, is disturbing, I've left it all this way, not, because, I wanted to, no parental love ect, am very much alone here in that respect. My family, support me in this, all this with Jimmy Savile, makes me feel, this is the right way to go. I was promised my files, it looks like Newham have destroyed them, although, they've never proved this. I've tried everything, I can think of though. Keep in touch, from ann

Things is FAB x