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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think (hope) Eastenders portrayal of social services (Lexi & Lola story) is wrong?

345 replies

MoonlightShadows · 05/10/2012 20:10

I am watching it at the moment and am finding the Lexi/Lola storyline quite disturbing, I can't imagine social services really carry on like this and think it's an unfair portrayal.

OP posts:
clash65 · 08/10/2012 21:17

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clash65 · 08/10/2012 21:19

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MrsDeVere · 08/10/2012 21:26

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IneedAsockamnesty · 08/10/2012 21:28

clash, not all of the surely?

WelshMaenad · 08/10/2012 21:37

Fuck off clash, there's a love.

SchrodingersMew · 08/10/2012 21:41

"thay should be flogged till dead" WTAF!? Shock

SchrodingersMew · 08/10/2012 21:42

Do you actually realise how many kids would me much worse off or dead if we didn't have social workers?

SchrodingersMew · 08/10/2012 21:42

Freudian slip there, be* not me.

MrsDeVere · 08/10/2012 21:49

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SchrodingersMew · 08/10/2012 21:51

"And that the families that harm their children think they are in the same category as those that have been badly done by.... "

^^ That, in my experience is very true.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 09/10/2012 00:05

Flogged until dead? Hmm

I don't think so.

Clash at the risk of sounding like i have a whole chorus of violins behind me, i've been through the most suck-shit experience you could possibly at the hands of the SS. But even i don't think that.

'Tis crackpots like you that ruin it for everyone who wants the family court system opened up and the SS and childrens act 1989 overhauled and scrapped and rewritten respectively.

I have reported your post.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 09/10/2012 00:09

Social workers out there please!
Can they set contact arrangements without discussion with parent and parent's solicitor?

Yep, they did with me.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 09/10/2012 00:10

Oh annoyinnnnnng i still haven't worked out how those stars work

MrsDeVere · 09/10/2012 07:15

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crashdoll · 09/10/2012 08:26

I'd be very upset to be flogged till dead especially as I don't work with children.

And you know what they say about two sides of every story.....

Kewcumber · 09/10/2012 15:49

I don't think ** works around and enter or if you put a space next to them...

so

Social workers out there please! Can they set contact arrangements without discussion with parent and parent's solicitor? Should work...

Kewcumber · 09/10/2012 15:50

yes it does - I removed the new line [enter]

McHappyPants2012 · 09/10/2012 16:04

In Lola case, the child was removed after she was fighting while she was caring for her child. She knew SS was keeping a very close eye on her so it was a very stupid thing to do.

She could of phoned the police or went to get help.

But breaking it down, why would working or not working be an issue. Hasn't any one of eastenders ever heard of benefits lol

wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/10/2012 16:09

When Lola read the notes the reasons were

Nappy rash, suspected hangover and late to three meetings.

I would like to think that these things are not realistic grounds to remove a child from its mother.

Lexi was removed BEFORE Lolas account of the fight was taken.

It simply doesnt ring true.

crashdoll · 09/10/2012 17:42

Interesting response if anyone cares to have a read
www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/09/10/2012/118586/fury-over-eastenders-misleading-social-work-storyline.htm

Birdsgottafly · 09/10/2012 19:33

Social workers out there please! Can they set contact arrangements without discussion with parent and parent's solicitor?

The court sets the contact arrangements, so an iterim care order would have already been obtained and contact probably wouldn't be set until the outcome of the police questioning was known.

It is usually prefered in my LA, than a Emergancy Protection Order.

In my experience that was very little contact, but it wouldn't be set and told to the parent in that manner. Parents don't always have solicitors and often refuse to engage one, it is between the parent and court, but can be changed on a weekly basis.

Where was her HV? A multi professional meeting would be called and overseen by an Independant Reviewing Officer, who would oversee the whole case.

MrsDeVere · 09/10/2012 21:49

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ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 09/10/2012 22:09

They have to set contact of some sort up before they go for the interim care order if it's going to take some time.

My solicitor wasn't happy about the promised contact that was missed (by DD being taken back to the FC's after school and no one bothering to tell me, leaving me waiting outside the contact venue)

So the court doesn't always set them. They are agreed upon if possible by discussion between the parent, and the SS, and presented to the court. In my case DD was in voluntary care and i had open access, then when the epo was refused and the interim CO applied for, i had to wait to see her. Once they applied for the order, they set out twice a week contact, at first in the SS offices, then in the area the FC lived so DD wouldn't have to travel far.

Problem with that theory was that DD was attending school 2 mins walk from my house Hmm and there was an easily accessible family centre about 20 mins walk away or one bus ride, but no, they chose to make it hard and applied to use one miles away which was three buses for me. I only once was late to a contact in all the years we had to do it, and one time the contact clashed with a painful court appearance so they prevented it, because emotions were 'running high' only forgot to tell the supervising worker who sat at the centre for hours, waiting with a very distressed DD.

Then because they couldn't contact her, they sent the FC to the centre, who told DD that 'your mum couldn't be arsed to turn up'

I never got an apology for that.

Yes they do fuck you about and try to get away with as little contact as possible, in my own and all the other cases i've hear so i'm not making things up.
If you complain the first thing they do is cut the contact and say its because there is a risk you will project your anger onto the child.
Other people, maybe, but i never did, although i often got accused of talking to DD about the case (at 7 or 8 years of age yeah righty..)

In fact i got so pissed at the lies, i ended up saying to DD one time, i've been told not to say i love you, or that i want you home. But thats not right. I do love you, i want you home, i am fighting for you.
I told the court when i was dragged up on this, that i was accused, i may as well do, and i had a right to free speech as long as it wasn't harmful to DD..the judge said 'i agree you have no recourse to the accusations made, you can only deny them, true or not. They are not proven facts. Any mother would want their child to know they are loved and wanted, and the child needs to hear it. I want the statement rewritten to show that the mother has not (talked about the case at all) but has exercised her right to free speech and utilised it to reinforce to the child that she is very much loved and wanted'

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, SW's :P

People, if your child is in care ignore the threats of not telling your DC's you love or miss them. Its your right to say, and their right to hear it.

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 09/10/2012 22:12

And in regard to contact, the recommendations of the SS if they don't agree with the BP, are always acted upon.
So they STILL win either way. You can discuss till you're blue in the face, but if they don't agree they stamp their feet, lie about you a bit, and get contact down to the bare minimum and of course they ALWAYS say the 'in the best interests of the child not to be unsettled by too much contact with family'

MrsDeVere · 09/10/2012 22:20

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