God this thread is an eye-opener. I was all day to come on and say YABU, but of course, I've had all the low level stuff to me happen. Like so many others, I didn't really think it counted - just an accepted part of life. I'm amazed that there are women out there that have never been groped, felt up, leered at, wolf-whistled, had suggestive comments made, etc, etc...
I honestly think some men have no idea how threatening they can be. What, to them, is perhaps the cut and gib of teens/20s putting yourself out there, flirting, pulling (or trying to), etc, etc, is often really, really unwelcome and threatening for those on the receiving end. They have absolutely no idea how it feels to almost inevitably be the physically weaker one and just know inherently in yourself that if things were to get out of hand, you'd likely be over-powered.
It's not even like most situations get to this point. Low-level groping in a club is just a random guy chancing his arm. But for the physically weaker person it is - or easily can be - intimidating and scary. I honestly think that so many men have no idea of what that feels like, and how it pretty much always puts you on the back foot. They're just having a laugh, trying it on, it doesn't really mean anything, get over your self, it's no big deal, done by them and forgotten instantly. But for women who accept this as part and parcel of every day life - and when the attention is not invited and welcome - it is intimidating. And I'm 5'9".
I was walking home from town (broad daylight) once when coming in the opposite direction to me was a girl of about 14. Hanging around was about 3 or 4 boys (they were about the same age as her). As she walked past, they made all sorts of comments. Didn't physically touch her or actually threaten her, just these comments. I couldn't hear what they said - but I could feel the fear literally emanating off her. You could almost see her try to shrink herself to make herself smaller, invisible. I stayed and watched to make sure they didn't go after her. It was such a complete and utter non-event in the minds of those boys, but for her it was awful - and for me as nothing more than a mere witness, it was so tangible I'll probably never forget it.
I was groped in the street by a 10 year old boy in broad daylight aged about 25 or 26. I was shocked speechless at the brass neck of him. Although I was hardly scarred for life, it really shook me as it was quite aggressive and obviously done for laughs and - effectively - for me to be ridiculed. That 10 year old feral little shit probably forgot about it 5 mins later, but 12 years on I still remember it.
I also worked in a bar in the City for nearly two years. As a barmaid, you basically sign yourself up for it. You totally are fair game. I was touched incessantly - not always in a sexual way - often just a hand in the waist or arm, but of course much more as well. Felt up, propositioned. I was 24 and didn't even think to mind. I was a barmaid, what did I expect? And of course, the barmaid that reprimands every man who touches her isn't exactly going to be appreciated by management...!
So on reflection I have been very lucky - no rape, no abuse, just bog standard 'mild' harassment. I'm so sorry for what some of you have been through. :(