to want to shout at some dog owners?

[ParadiseMoresThePity]

Disclaimer: I would never shout and I know that most dog owners are responsible, lovely reasonable people, this is not meant to tar them all with the same AIBU brush, honest guv'

My local park is meant to be a 'dogs on a lead only' park, there are meadows directly next to the park where most take their dogs for a run, but everytime we go there are always some dogs off their leads. A few months ago, my 2 year old was knocked over by a dog, it ran over to us and before I could pick her up it had jumped up at her. I think it was only jumping up, it wasn't aggressive or attacking, but she is little and it just bowled her over. She is now terrified of absolutely all dogs.

So, since then whenever we are at the park or on the beach or wherever, if a dog comes in our direction she looks panicked and I try to pick her up before the dog gets too close. I immediately have to start reassuring her that its ok.

Every time (with very few exceptions) the owners look offended, offended I've picked her up away from the dog and offended that I'm reassuring her.
They tend to then say, 'oh, its ok, he's very good with children' in either a defensive or cross tone, though today I got 'you don't need to pick her up and fuss you know, he's very good with kids' followed by lots of tutting.

I just want to scream back 'well she doesn't bloody know that does she?!'

Because if they were all good with kids then she wouldn't have been knocked over in the first place!!
How the hell should I know which dogs are good with kids, especially as they are bounding towards you and you have a screaming toddler at your heels.

Welsh Thats it isn't it, you know your dog is a softie but you recognise that others aren't psychic and don't know that.

I just think its disrespectful to be dismissive of phobias. I have never been afraid of dogs, but I'm petrified if spiders and hate it when people say I'm being silly. I think you've hot the right idea about helping her get over this fear slowly and gently, so snotty dog owners can just fuck off really!

Arse ^I squat down and put my arms around DD, holding her still, when I see overexcited dogs approaching now. She feels safe and I can then get between her and them before they upset her.
If they calm down I can then show her it's ok. She's getting a lot less scared and is starting to stand still if dogs run up to her^

I'll try that next time and see if I can calm her. Maybe I could start doing that and if it doesn't help, then pick her up. Maybe each time I do it I try to squat down with her for longer and longer until I pick her up so I gradually train her to calm with just me squatting down and holding her? If it teaches her to stand still too that is probably a good technique??

I agree, I think would the irresponsible owners be happy with a fully grown gorilla running up to them and jumping up at them, pushing them over? No. Well thats what its like for a small toddler if a dog that is bigger than them decides to be a bloody menace friendly.

You're both poor things! It is worrying seeing that happen to your DD, and having to also then deal with the after-effects!

I like arse's suggestion of squatting down and putting arms round her. I was going to suggest sitting with her on your lap, arms round her, but then twigged doing that in a muddy field/wet pavement might not be a good idea...

JParkson It wasn't nice and I suppose that if I'm honest its made me a bit more fearful, though I've never had a fear of dogs. It just a case of 'what if', what if that dog had been aggressive? You see it in the papers when a toddler is mauled, its just so scary.
To be honest, I'm shocked at the number of posters on this thread who have come on to say their child was knocked over too, it must happen more than I thought so I suppose I need to regain some of my confidence with dogs too now.

It has helped Paradise as the worst thing to do is run and scream. It excites playful dogs who then want to chase!
We have 2 calm big dogs so my DD has lots of positive experiences too, unlike yours who is quite sensibly not keen on going near any dog.

Does your DD get up close to any other animals? Maybe a trip to a childrens' farm with rabbits, goats etc she can touch might help her feel more ready to meet calm dogs?

Thoughtless owners really depress me sometimes tbh. There was a thread on here recently where someone's autistic DS, who got distressed by a 'friendly' dog, had the dog held right up to his face to 'teach him not to be frightened'.
Words fail me!

JP often end up sitting in the mud when they jump up anyway so not as serene a move as it sounds!

ParadiseMoresThePity im in hertfordshire, if you are anywhere near and your dd is feeling braver i would be happy to meet so she can take my utterly unintrested lab for a walk!

YANBU at all. If a dog is running and jumping at your child of course you will pick up your child, you don't know whether they are friendly or not. At 2 your dd is only a baby. Those dog owners give responsible ones a bad name

I was chased by a dog when I was 5. A Rottweiler chased me into my own house. Before that I'd been wary of dogs - there were lots of out-of-control Rottweilers off lead where we lived so my mum always moved across the street etc when I was little.

I was consequently, after being chased, terrified of dogs. I honestly could not be calmed down. Being made to try to deal with dogs was absolute torture. I just wanted to be away from them. I really can't describe properly what that fear was like. I know my family were trying to help me by not picking me up, taking me out of these situations etc but I would get so distressed.

I grew out of it and when I was 12 my parents actually bought a dog! I'm now not nervous of dogs I know but I still don't like dogs being off lead around children.

My DS has grown up around dogs and has absolutely no fear of them.

OP YANBU and I really feel for your DD.

YANBU, the same happened to DS1 when he was just about two.

Some daft cahh had four dogs with her, three off lead, and she was gabbing on her mobile (not paying a blind bit of attention to what her dogs were doing). One jumped up at DS, which set the other two off trying to jump at him. To be fair, she did apologise, but only after my friend laid into her a bit (I was trying to calm DS)

DS is terrified of dogs now, and who could bloody blame him.

We face this problem every day now when we walk to school. The only route is through a small park and dogs are meant to be on leads. There are a few very good dog owners who use leads and are very considerate, but the majority are not. DS1, 4YO, was never worried about dogs before as DPs have a retriever and our BFs have two terriers and other Fs have a boxer, all lovely and well trained. Now though, DS has gone off all dogs (even the dogs mentioned) as we have had dogs jumping up at us and DS2's pram. I don't particularly want to be covered in mud and slobber either, but I am more concerned with all the LO's walking to school who are upset by this.

I have a tiny ( if a bit overweight) dog. Kids make a beeline for him.
He s actually very good with kids he knows having grown up surrounded by small boys.
But he is nervy when out and do busy being alert for danger he totally ignores the kids who try and pet him.
Despite all this I would never let him run amok and if a child comes running at him I suggest the ask mum/dad if it's ok to pet him.
Walking in some places with a small dog can be nerve wracking because owners with large dogs allow theirs free rein.
I would be furious if my dog loving kids were put off them because any dog frightened them, regardless of size.

It's that behaviour that feeds the hating frenzy.

I'm a dog owner, and I get mad about this too. Dogs should be on leads around kids. Period. I actually think that unless a dog is brilliantly trained and has 100% recall it should be on lead in all parks, whatever the by-laws. Darling slobbery Rover may be his owner's pride and joy but to everyone else he is a dirty smelly PITA.

I have got a lab, big and calm a real softie but to those who don't like them he would be a huge scarey dog.
He is on a lead near other people and has excellent recall (If not would never be off). If a child is interested in him I make him sit so they can pet him if they want, he is not allowed to approach them! He cured my nephew of his fear of dogs who loves him.
When one of my DC was 2 she was knocked flying by a JR off a lead (we got the dont worry hes friendly) luckily she was uningured and and about 3 months ago I had a large dog run into my back while I was sat on a beach so hard it hurt my neck! (goodness knows what it was doing) It hurt me and must have winded itself, I was furious as my DC had been a bit further on and it could have really injured them if it had done it to them instead.
The owners said sorry and angrily as I was in pain I told them if they could not control their dog then it needed to be on a lead. On the same beach my dog was attaked by 2 standard poodles off a lead, the owner and me had to drag them off, he was uninjured thankfully; again she had no control whatsoever .

I had this the Other day when i ushered my toddler to walk the other side of me as we passed a dog that was a breed known for sometimes being aggressive. The owner looked really offended and said 'he won't touch him'. And I thought, well i' rather not take the risk thanks. No harm in being cautious.

I often wonder if people imagine the cross/defensive tone of the dog owners.

My dog behaves beautifully out and about and, if I see anyone approaching us, I put her back on her lead immediately and make her sit until they have passed. However I have used the "she's just a softy" line if someone looks particularly nervous about walking past her.

I'm not being defensive, or cross, just trying to reassure them that she really has no interest in eating them...

"I just want to scream back 'well she doesn't bloody know that does she?!' "

Yeah, you're supposed to just assume that every dog hurtling towards you is 'good with kids'?

Bullshit.

If a person is in control of their animal, they will be able to call it back. If they can't, and if it goes straight for your kids, assume the worst I say.

YANBU - if it's a dogs on leads park, then dogs should be on leads.

Just another thought though from my angle as a dog owner. Some parents allow their children to run up to my dog and pet her if she's on lead or off. I've even had to tell children not to try to pick her up.

She's great with children so I don't worry, but some dogs might not be so accommodating and I do wonder why some parents don't check first.

YANBU some dog owners are so precious! In the summer we had a BBQ at a dogs on lead park (on the beach, which is supposed to be dogs on lead aswell. A large slobbery boxer dog came bounding over and attempted to eat from the BBQ, and my husband "shooed" it away. Cue; all hell breaking loose! Owner of said dog started ranting about a dogs right to have a good day out etc etc, it really spoiled the day.

Dog owners should obey the dogs on lead rule and not assume because their darling Rover is the apple of their eye that that goes for everyone else.

As a Dog owner I think that is terrible.. My dogs are soppy but do like to jump up for a fuss, Older one not so much younger one is terrible for it GRR!!

There is only one place we walk them off lead which is in a national park which has signs saying we can (kind of fenced in) unless the cows are in the field.. In there I never put them on the lead unless its a very busy time as it states it is a dog off lead walking area so anyone walking in there should expect off lead dogs tbh.. However we do always calls them back and the first sign of one of them ignoring, leads are on and we go home.

But even in the off lead dog walking area with big signs saying so the amount of people who go though it making a huge issue of their being dogs in there is unreal! I do think if its an off lead place and your scared don't go as not many places allow dogs off lead.. However an on lead place the owners should bloody well have their dogs on leads and expect to see some people/children who are scared of them..

Don't get me started on poo though! 8 Piles of dogs crap i had to avoid on the pre school walk this morning.. 3minutes to the buss stop and 8 bloody piles on the foot paths!!

Glad its no just me that wish that more dog owners would be responsible and realise that just because they trust their dog doesn't mean that I should.

But that there seem to be so many posters who have had or still have the same problem.

As MrsBethel says, if its bounding up to us and the owner isn't stopping it (or its ignoring the call back shouts from owner) then we have to assume the worst. If the dog that knocked over my DD had been a nasty dog I dread to think what could have happened before I got it off her

I need to think up a non-rude but assertive response to the next 'tut, tut, tut, you don't need to pick her up, he's good with kids' comment I get.
I've kept my mouth shout so far because the ones I've thought of so far have swear words in them

yanbu at all. had a simikar situation when dc1 was about 18m and when he just turned 4 we were attacked (as in growling and teeth baring) by a large dog which came barging out of a house.
dc is now afraid and weary arond dogs but stays calm now that he understands what to do.

imo all dogs should be on the lead at all times when out in public.

I'mnot starting on the dog shit...

YANBU at all. I have a very nosey little dog who I immediately put on the lead if I see a young child coming towards. My dog may be friendly but how do I know he's not going to frighten the life out of some poor unsuspecting little one. I know when I have DCs, I wont want any old dog running up to them!

I actually had a situation where a idiotic and weak dog walker couldnt control his dog, said dog, who is triple the size of mine, was jumping all over my dog. That was bad enough never mind a DC.

Paradise I'd say exactly what you said at the beginning. "Just because you trust your dog doesn't mean that I should."