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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want you to compare having pets to raising children

159 replies

Imsosorryalan · 03/10/2012 14:21

Ok, I know some people love their pets enormously but why do some insist that their dog/cat/hamster is JUST like having a small child? It's not, never will be.. End of

Example " little alan wouldn't sit still for a minute, I've barely eaten, cleaned (mnet) all day"
friend " oh yes, i hate it when hairy smelly rover doesn't let me get on either"
AIBU?

OP posts:
cat · 03/10/2012 14:22

AAhh. YANBU

My dogs are so much more demanding than my DCs

HTH

juneau · 03/10/2012 14:23

No YANBU. My sister constantly compares me having two kids with her having a cat. I put up with it for a bit, but eventually said 'FFS, having a cat is NOT like having two DC'!

notanaxemurderer · 03/10/2012 14:24

My MIL was like this after we had DD. I remember telling her how I'd been up half the night feeding and MIL just kept nodding and saying "oh yes it's been like that with my puppy, it's exhausting isn't it?"

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/10/2012 14:25

Actually YABU

Some people invest as much time and effort in their pets as others do in their kids. Not all but def some people.

PosieParker · 03/10/2012 14:25

YANBU

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/10/2012 14:26

YANBU but I tell you what, it's a complete bastard trying to potty-train a hamster....

Hayleyh34 · 03/10/2012 14:26

Drives me mad. I'm the only mum in my office, everyone else has pets and if there's something wrong with the pet, they compare it to when my daughter was ill and say "you know what it's like..."

Don't get me wrong, I love animals and have a cat but it's bloody frustrating!

hiddenhome · 03/10/2012 14:27

I used to have chickens. They were a heck of a lot more trouble than either of my dcs Grin

dreamingofsun · 03/10/2012 14:27

i have found bringing up 3 children to be very similar to having a dog. both need regular meals, love, attention and lots of exercise. they also need firm handling or they run amock. the dog will adore me forever, though, whereas children grow up and become teenagers.

stopcallingmefrank · 03/10/2012 14:27

YANBU

I have a child and a dog. I can tell the difference between them.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/10/2012 14:27

My completely self absorbed Dsister constantly tells us how demanding her dog is and how much of her time he takes up. We all laugh because the dog spends about 12 hours a day, 5 days a week with my DP, sometimes longer and he does sleep all night. In fact my DS is out about 5 nights a week herself.

When I was discussing getting a dog with her she said "its a big committment", me "erm I've got a DH and 2 DC, I think I can do committment" DS "no its so much harder than having a baby" ShockGrin.

She has no fucking idea.

IKilledIgglePiggle · 03/10/2012 14:29

YANBU. It's quite sad actually, no matter how much you love your pet, it is not a child...... My SIL broke down in the supermarket with me after her dog died and said it was like loosing one of her children, she has four children, I was sympathetic up until that point......not to mention the fact that it's a very insulting thing to say when people actually have lost children.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/10/2012 14:30

[gring] at draamingofsun. Good point, perhaps I should get a dog afterall.....

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/10/2012 14:30

and god knows what a gring is Grin.

eurochick · 03/10/2012 14:36

YABU. Pets require much of the same attention as children. I think they are great to practise on. We can't even keep a plant alive, so should not be allowed to progress to pets yet.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/10/2012 14:40

Yes *euro" totally agree. When DS was born and wouldn't be put down at all, only slept in my arms and fed for hours DH and I often commented on how looking after 2 goldfish was almost exactly the same, and what good training it had been.

GothAnneGeddes · 03/10/2012 14:41

YANBU.

I'm especially Hmm at childfree types who are always bemoaning parents but have pets they treat as surrogate children.

Pandemoniaa · 03/10/2012 14:41

YANBU. Pets and children are different. I particularly cringe when people refer to their dogs as "my baby". I'm not saying that having pets isn't hard work - puppies don't train themselves or learn to socialise by being neglected - but I really wouldn't compare this to bringing up children.

shittingit · 03/10/2012 14:42

YANBU. One of my boss's had a dog that she said was the son she never had (had 2 DD's) I couldn't get my head around it but just nodded and smiled politely. I know as a nation we are dog crazy/pet crazy but I don't get the comparison to having/raising children.

Quadrangle · 03/10/2012 14:45

I would imagine that being sleep deprived because a puppy has kept you up all night howling is similar to being kept awake by a baby!

HazleNutt · 03/10/2012 14:46

YABU actually, if you are talking about the Rover example and not the "dog is the son I never had" guy.

If you complain about DC waking up and you being tired and I reply that "oh yes, me too, I have a puppy", then I'm not saying having kids is the same as having a dog. I'm just saying that as I was up at 2, 3, 4 and 5.30 because of a whining puppy, I'm therefore also quite tired.

Pandemoniaa · 03/10/2012 14:46

I would imagine that being sleep deprived because a puppy has kept you up all night howling is similar to being kept awake by a baby!

Yes. But without the awful guilt that comes with it!

Secondsop · 03/10/2012 14:51

I get it when people make the comparison. Of course pets are not THE SAME AS children, but especially for those who live alone or are elderly I can see why having a loving pet as companionship, another living creature who depends on you and who gives you joy and makes you smile and laugh is not a million miles away by any means of having a child. I can see why the OP has her view but let's not forget the huge difference a pet can make in abating loneliness and making people happy, rather than getting cross that the pet owner doesn't see it the same way. Of course they don't see it the same way but we all can only have our own frame of reference within which to develop our feelings. If I lost a beloved pet I'd find it even more upsetting if people didnt respect my sadness and belittled it.

D0oinMeCleanin · 03/10/2012 14:52

I have three dogs, two kids. Dealing with either is pretty much the same. They all need constant guidance, clear boundaries, lots of praise and regular exercise and interaction and if left to get bored or hungry expect trouble.

The only difference is the times you would panic, i.e when the kids go quiet = not good. When the dogs start making racket = not good.

Secondsop · 03/10/2012 14:54

I don't think the OP is unreasonable for having a different view from a pet owner as to the child/pet comparison. I DO think OP is unreasonable for, as stated in the heading, not wanting others to see the comparison differently.

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