To not want you to compare having pets to raising children

[Imsosorryalan]

Ok, I know some people love their pets enormously but why do some insist that their dog/cat/hamster is JUST like having a small child? It's not, never will be.. End of

Example " little alan wouldn't sit still for a minute, I've barely eaten, cleaned (mnet) all day"
friend " oh yes, i hate it when hairy smelly rover doesn't let me get on either"
AIBU?

Indeed, LookBehindYou

When childless people talk about their pets, it's unlikely to be because they think they're of equal standing as a child. For instance, I love my cats dearly. However, if I had friends with children visiting and there was a house fire, I would not think twice about getting the child out first.

Yes, my pets are not as important as anyone's child. This is, however, largely irrelevant during a conversation about nothing in particular, such as that described in the OP.

""It seems particularly mean-spirited that the dig is targeted at people without children by people with children.""

"Get used to it. This happens a lot on MN."

It's a shame isn't it? I like lots of things about MN. This isn't one of them.

Ooh I have friends who do this. One refers to 'the kids' when talking about her baby and her dog. Another actually joins in with conversations about kids with stuff about her kids - 'Dd is having trouble learning to read' 'oh, I know, I find it hard to motivate Tiddles to scratch in the right places'. WTAF

unless you leave you children in the house while you work, get them neutered and get them euthanised if they get very ill, pets are NOT children.

Stuff about her per, I mean

PETS

DH was just comparing having children to having dogs. DD2 just left a nice big poo on the carpet for me to clean up. Just thought I'd share .

When I had PND, I remember loving dd like a cute little kitten. i thought she was lovely, I did all the practical stuff and I would have been devastated if anything had happened to her.

I still remember the moment that lifted. It was like someone tearing my heart out - suddenly that cute little kitten felt like she was physically part of me.

Totally different.

I love my pets.
They are not like children
I just happily waved off the cat to go and live with DS1 in his flat.
I don't miss her. She was a nice cat but she has gone.
My little dog died a few years back. She is buried in the garden.
Had her for years but I barely think about her.

I had DD for 14 years. My heart is shattered. I am mentally and physically damaged by her loss. I only appear to function normally. I do not and never will again.
Her loss has driven my eldest son away from home and left her younger brother traumatised beyond my reach. Her little brothers live in the shadow of the loss of a sister they never met.

Let's not fuck about.
Pets ate not the same as children

I don't think anyone here is suggesting that pets are on the same level as children. That would be ridiculous. But the experience of loving and caring for an animal is the closest many people will get to the parent-child bond that is clearly such an enormous and life-changing gift, and to denigrate that, and suggest that it's - hee hee! - a 'teeny bit weird' is rather sad and ungracious. It's probably fair to assume that anyone who talks about their pet in exactly the same way as they would a child has issues that aren't going to be helped by a parent reminding them that they have no idea what it feels like to have a real baby.

I see the OP hasn't been back.

Really? I thought that is exactly what the op was about.
And there have been several threads like this recently.
And they are crap.

No, the essence of the thread is people contributing to conversations about DCs and drawing parallels re looking after their pets. It's not about people who value animals' lives above or equal to human life.

We have 10 pets and 5 children and the pets are so much easier than the children.

First of the pets cant talk,secondly they don't constantly grow out of clothes and shoes.Thirdly the pets don't presume I'm rich.

brilliantly put hippermiddleton

Well tbh I thought the op was simply about competitive whinging.

haha! True Invisible.
In which case it's even more reasonable.

I'm still here, reading with interest. No way am I suggesting loving and caring for a pet should be taken less seriously ESP. If childless couples see them as a child substitute.
Only, an acknowledgment that a dog and child have different values within a family.
(Ps friend in question does see herself as a fur baby mummy complete with clothes and jewellery for said dog).

Oh and if you think the post is crap ..... Don't post

I guess Hippermiddleton is right and of course I would never tell anyone they were weird for comparing their pet to a baby even if I thought it.

I think someone's wrong for equating their chinchilla with a baby not because I think I am superior as a mother to a childless pet-owner (and this woman may have had kids for all I know), but because I actually believe that humans are more important than chinchillas. I say this as a vegetarian and a loving pet owner. I think it's quite offensive to equate a pet with a human child, actually. Though not as offensive as being called a witch thanks LookBehindYou.

Plantsitter, I don't think who/what is the most important was in dispute. I certainly don't recall any posts on this thread where a pet was 'equated' with a human child or where there was an implication that animals are more important than humans?

I believe the implication was that for some people who can't have kids, their pet is the closest substitute. And sometimes those people try to relate to those who do have children by drawing parallels with their own experience - rightly or wrongly.

I for one certainly don't think it's wrong, and can see why someone might do it. Maybe they really wish they could join in those conversations but be actually talking about DCs (if they had them).

A little kindness goes a long way...

If that is directed at me - fuck off. I will post where the fuck I fucking like.
If it isn't - :)

Nice..

Unlike you OP. Think you might be a little confused about what an internet chat thread is all about.
Your friend is having fun with her dog. She's nice enough to be your friend even when you think she should give her undivided attention to you without offering any opinion or having a life herself. I very much doubt she thinks it's the same as a child, she's just joining in the conversation and showing that she understands. Did she really insist her dog is the same as your child? You had a knock down row but she still stuck to her guns? I don't think so. You're a pretty crap friend to mock her online

Not sure where you think we rowed also it didn't involve me. So thank you for your input and advice about an Internet chat forum. you do not need to speculate what sort of friend you presume me to be..

You said 'insist that their dog/hamster....'. I was asking if it was really true that people insisted it.

You're welcome.

Nice to see this interesting thread is disintegrating into a bunfight..... but to throw my bun into the ring:

Some people do actually equate having a pet to having a child. NOT competitive whingeing (which we all indulge in, let's be honest ) NOT trying-to-relate (ditto, but nicer of us as a species) but actual 'I-know-what-you're-talking-about-cos-I-have-a-pet'.

Our neighbors were like this. Used to drive us barmy. And they would make direct comparisons that went: 'Oh, exactly the same for us too!' which it patently was not (colicky DS1 is not the same as a bloody dog, FFS.)

They are not very nice, however (sample quote - on meeting DS1 and us gushing over him: 'Looks like generic white baby to me')

I genuinely think only weird or misguided people actually equate having a pet with having a child. It's mostly 1) competitive whingeing or 2) trying to relate (which is, obviously, nice of people).

On the other hand, some people are just prats (viz; old neighbors )