to be insulted by charity leaflet being used as my birthday card?

[downtonscullery]

My DH has a very difficult relationship with his family. His parents are what you would describe as toxic and his sister always takes their parents side. His parents have actually come out and told me that they dislike me (one reason being because I work and they think I should be at home fulltime with the dcs). As a result we rarely see DH's parents or his sister.

Anyway, it was my birthday last week and a card came from my SIL. Except it wasn't a birthday card it was a charity leaflet from a famous charity with information about how you can donate, the work they do etc. Inside she'd written happy birthday. I was a bit puzzled when I opened it and saw it had been used as my birthday card and thought to myself 'well I wish she hadn't bothered!' but that was it.

Yesterday a friend came round and saw the leaflet and was shocked, said I should feel insulted that SIL thought all I was worth was a charity leaflet for a card when you can buy cheap birthday cards. Now I think about it I am feeling a bit put out. I'd rather she hadn't sent anything rather than re-using a leaflet. Ironically what do you think came in the post today? Yep a leaflet from the same charity complete with its own envelope, pen, bookmark and coaster. She'd obviously received the same pack in the post and re-used.

I'm now thinking about returning the leaflet to SIL with a note saying something along the lines of 'I am insulted you have sent me this, in future don't bother'. AIBU to do this??

She may well have forgotten to get a card
She may well have thought, that's a pretty card i could use it. I have that card right here, it's no way near being a 'leaflet' op. It's a card, it opens like a card. Assuming that's what you're on about?

If she actually used a 'leaflet', that was obviously a 'A5 type leaflet' for pizza, or double glazing then yes you can be pissed off.

in conclusion yabu

YABU and very rude to return a card with a stroppy note. At least she remembered your birthday. Makes you look very childish.

The problem is, she will now be able to tell people with total honesty that you returned a card to her, complaining that it was a charity one and thus unacceptable, which makes you look terrible. It may well have been a dig at you (don't know the circs, and you do) but even if it was, she now has the satisfaction of knowing she got to you, plus an anecdote in which she comes out smelling of roses and you look bad. And... what if she didn't mean anything by it?

Yy to the crisp packet suggestion! The stinkiest flavour too

People are making assumptions that it was a card received by the OP, but I have only read the word leaflet in her posts.

It would be useful if the OP could confirm whether it was a leaflet or card she received.

Oh dear OP!
I'm afraid that you're not presenting yourself in a very favourable light at all. You are coming across as rather spoilt and immature.
Why does it matter so much what kind of cards you receive on your birthday? Good grief, how old are you??! Surely such things are of no particular consequence to adults? A child might be disappointed if they don't receive the gifts they were hoping for, but I would expect anyone over the age of about 8 or 9 to be gracious enough to thank the giver regardless and certainly not to make a fuss!
You were very badly advised by your friend!

Oh dear

Pot and kettle springs to mind

It has to be a Pickled Onion Monster Munch packet :o

YANBU because of her intentions, if it was someone who you have a great relationship with and joked with then it could be appropriate but no, she is definitely in the wrong. I suggest not telling her it insulted you though, i like the idea about the crisp packet haha..

If you think it's a wind up then best ignore it as that will really piss her off.

fryone are there many famous charitys who have been mass sending out packs including coasters bookmarks and pens?

why would a leaflet come with its own enverlope note not IN one but with one?

Oh Fuxsake! SIL obviously sent leaflet - not a card, a leaflet to OP to wind her up. As good as telling her she considered her uncharitable. Very spiteful. How does that make the OP unreasonable?

Not obvious at all WYLI. If it had been a leaflet like you're visualising why would the OP have put it on her mantelpiece?

and i expect the op wont confirm if it was a card (a thing made of actual card folded in half with a picture on the front and space to write a personal message on the inside usually supplied with a enverlope) or a leaflet (a thing made of thin paper with no fold line on it and not usually supplied with a enverlope)

because if she says its a card it makes her look like a plonker who has let her friend shitstir and resulted in her doing something that makes her look grabby ungrateful and childish whilst having the duel effect of giving her sil ammo.

obviously if it was a actual leaflet and was not sent by the red cross (as i surspect it was) then im more than happy to apoligise to the op.

"Except it wasn't a birthday card it was a charity leaflet from a famous charity with information about how you can donate, the work they do etc."
Seriously, that does not sound like a greetings card to me.

"Yesterday a friend came round and saw the leaflet and was shocked"
No mention of a mantelpiece, just the implication that it could be seen. I am terminally untidy and have all sorts lying around, I envisaged the leaflet being out, friend saying 'are you donating to them', OP responding ' No, SIL sent ot to me as a birthday card' etc.

Trying to post a pic of leaflet to profile...

No, my love, it's not insulting.

It's absolutely hilariously funny that she went to the bother of writing on a charity leaflet just to show you that she hadn't bought a card for your birthday! I mean, really! Like you say: why???

I wouldn't waste a moment fretting about her.

Just tell us whether it had a rose on the front OP. If not YANBU (but you shouldn't send a snarky note anyway because it's asking for trouble)

ebid.s3.amazonaws.com/upload_big/8/2/8/1321780264-6320-33.jpg

was it this one?

Whereyouleftit the thing is, she describes a little pack she got herself that several other posters have also had... the same leaflet and envelope inside. That leaflet is a card, and you are asked to use it as such.

It doesn't mean the sender wasn't being spiteful, though. It may mean she was being craftily so. But if it is one of those rose cards, the OP has backed herself in a corner in terms of family relations, IMO. And rising to the bait is never wise when someone is this petty, regardless.

we've had the mumsnet scarf, now we have the mumsnet card!

I know the fund raising thin papered card you mean. It is meant to be a freebie to send to someone. It would be OK as a thank you note but not as a birthday card. Bit tight really. Just save the new card for her birthday as a joke.