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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that posting a pregnancy announcement on your friends Facebook is NOT funny just hurtful

36 replies

picturesinthefirelight · 02/10/2012 22:10

The young girl in question is a student. I am her employer - family members & family friends all saw it. People started messaging congrats messages to her mum.

I knew it was fake - well I hoped it was as she was doing manual handling at work at the weekend.

Why is having "fun" on Facebook any different to the nasty spreading of lies & rumours behind the bike sheds there was in my day?

OP posts:
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 02/10/2012 22:13

Who posted the comment on whose page?

Sorry - I am confused, though I have a rather shit day, and a couple of glasses of wine so maybe it is a me thing, and not a you thing.

BridgetBidet · 02/10/2012 22:13

What?? She announced that her mum was pregnant? Or that she was pregnant?

Has one of her mates fraped her and anounced she is pregnant? I don't understand.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 02/10/2012 22:15

Whew. Not just me, then.

Tryingtothinkofnewsnazzyname · 02/10/2012 22:16

So the girl in question is not actually pregnant, but someone posted on her Facebook page that she was just to stir up trouble (as a 'joke' Hmm)? Is that it?

Poor choice of friends or associates - we've all been there - but she can put that right by blocking them and ignoring them from now on. It is not nice and juvenile. At least she can just put the record straight, which hopefully she has done. She's got nothing to be embarrassed about.

Hassled · 02/10/2012 22:18

Do you mean she posted that she's pregnant as a weird sort of hoax? Are you absolutely sure that she's not? Sounds like a sad "pay me attention" cry more than anything. One of those "jokes" that's actually very sad.

Original poster
picturesinthefirelight · 02/10/2012 22:20

Yes one if her friends (I assume they got hold of her phone) fraped (don't like that word) and announced she was 12 weeks pregnant

A couple of extra jobs have just come up at work - she asked for the extra hours, someone else also wants the hours. I've been making my decisions today. Its a respondible job linked to her future career path (based on her choice of degree) I know I'm officially not allowed to discriminate but think if the implications.

People who saw and believed the status then sent her mum messages saying congrats for her dd's news).

OP posts:
Original poster
picturesinthefirelight · 02/10/2012 22:23

Imagine what her mum must have thought until the girl discovered the fake status. Imagine if I'd believed it and had given Te job to someone else (I started contacting people thus afternoon).

OP posts:
emsyj · 02/10/2012 22:25

If you'd believed it and given the job to someone else as a result then you'd have been breaking the law, which is rather more unfunny IMO.

SecretCermonials · 02/10/2012 22:25

Yabu to hold that against her.

TheVermiciousKnid · 02/10/2012 22:27

Posting a fake pregnancy announcement on somebody's facebook page is unreasonable. Not giving a job to somebody because they're pregnant is even more unreasonable. Very, very unreasonable.

But I think you probably know that...

AWomanCalledHorse · 02/10/2012 22:27

Yanbu. Someone 'fraped' a girl friend of mine with the same status.
But this girl is a 20yr old who is infertile after a stillborn birth with all the complications....only a few people know this all, so there were many congrats posts/texts/likes & she was so upset over the whole thing :(

BridgetBidet · 02/10/2012 22:27

Sorry, YABVU.

She's left her phone unattended somewhere and one of her mates has taken her phone for a 'laugh' and announced she's pregnant and you are blaming this on her and saying she is irresponsible?

At best she's going to be irritated with them but laugh it off, at worst she's going to be absolutely mortified and really upset this has happened and you're discriminating against HER??

This isn't her fault, you're going to make a judgement against her based on a rather nasty prank somebody else has played on her and that's very unreasonable.

Or are you saying you're going to discriminate against her because she might be pregnant?

Either way you are being vvvv unreasonable and bang out of order.

MammaTJisWearingGold · 02/10/2012 22:28

Someone did that to a friend of mine and it caused no end of hurt and upset. Her mum was convinced that she had kept it from her, as well as other family members and friends.

SecretCermonials · 02/10/2012 22:31

WRT to whether the status itself was mean etc - i think that is very dependant on the person who did it, why and the reaction of the person it was done to. It has been done to many of my friends by partners etc and no harm no foul. Others may not feel that way ( I wouldnt as i have fertility ishoos)

However I will reiterate admitting to thinking and considering making a judgement on the basis of such blatant discrimination well, that is much much worse, and if that is how your mind works god help women in the workplace!!!Angry

Original poster
picturesinthefirelight · 02/10/2012 22:33

Hang on a sec - where did I say I was going to actually discriminate or that I thought she was irresponsible

I think her friends are irresponsible bullies & you wouldn't be human to think twice about giving a pg girl a part time job involving manual handling against a similar candidate who wasn't.

As it happened I had already told her the job was hers if she wanted it - I'm very close to this girl known her since she was 12 employed her since she was 16 part time.

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/10/2012 22:33

The girl needs new friends. And to never let go of her phone.

But equally, if she had been pregnant, you should not let that have affected your decisions with regard to her job.

Hassled · 02/10/2012 22:34

X post

libelulle · 02/10/2012 22:35

wait - how you do know it was a joke? Just because she was doing 'manual handling' (don't know what that is) doesn't necessarily mean she isn't pregnant?

Bunbaker · 02/10/2012 22:36

I hate Facebook

BridgetBidet · 02/10/2012 22:37

You put it badly, your initial post did give the impression that you were saying you were going to discriminate.

But as you're not. YANBU but the person who posted the status is. It's a horrible thing to do.

Original poster
picturesinthefirelight · 02/10/2012 22:37

Manual handling = lifting heavy furniture around.

She's posted that she is not. I knew she wouldn't be

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MidniteScribbler · 02/10/2012 22:46

Yet another reason why employers shouldn't be facebook friends with their staff.

emsyj · 02/10/2012 23:11

The fact that the job would involve manual handling wouldn't make a difference from a legal perspective.

Tbh I think the suggestion that you would have 'thought twice' about employing her if she had been pregnant and the fact that you're posting about it on here (with sufficient detail that I imagine you'd be fairly identifiable to anyone involved) suggests that you're not really any more sensible than the Facebook 'friends'.

theinets · 02/10/2012 23:41

Someone I know fraped their friends fb account and announced she was in a lesbian relationship and engaged. Took months to repair the damage. Never take anything on fb seriously. It causes loads of problems.

whois · 02/10/2012 23:59

Employers and employees should not be 'friends' on Facebook.

Pg is standard frape material. Meh.