Aibu to think my DH should not have...

[oldwomanwholivedinashoe]

Spent the afternoon in the pub with his mates and our 6yr old son.

Usually on a Saturday I take our DD out for breakfast with my mum, dad and sister, then we go horse riding. My DH usually takes our DS to play football then watch football at one of our local league clubs which DS loves.

However, this week I got a new job, and went into work all day to sort things out so I asked my mum if she could have DD all day so that DH and DS could do their usual football thing. I found out last night that his playing football was cancelled due to rain but my sister still wanted to take DD out for breakfast so I said that this was fine.

I got home about 6pm. I rang DH on way home and he said they were in pub. I thought they had gone for a quick pint after the match. My mum has just text me to say that there was no football this afternoon - he and DS spent the afternoon in the pub watching random matches on sky etc.
I am livid!

To top it off, he put tea in the oven and then said 'do you mind if I go to the pub whilst its cooking.' I said no as I felt sorry for him being with kids all day and me being at work. Then my mum text me and I found out the truth!

I think in the grand scheme of your dad being ill etc.
Your DH being a thoughtless prick is kinda insignificant.

Being a prick when the rest of the family is upset is significant.

It says everything about your worth as a human being.

When the shit is really hitting the fan this fucker is taking advantage of a busy woman preparing to lose her husband so he can have a more relaxing afternoon on the piss.

That is contemptible.

People who "don't think" are wankers.

I personally hate it when people take young kids to pubs. I'm not talking about family meal out. There is a dad at school who seems to live in the pub. He said last week 'I don't take anywhere except the pub. He seems proud of it.

Your DC probably had a whale of a time! Kids loving doing 'grown up' things, and so long as your DC was on the soft drinks not pints, I see no harm. Is it really that much different to then watching to at home? I personally think its good for children to socialise I'm different groups, and for everything not to revolve around them all the time. They had good father son time!

My dad would always take me to the pub with him, I got a J20 and a packet of crisps, I never complained, in fact it was a bit of a treat. And for the record...I turned out just fine, I'm not a raging alcoholic, in fact I very rarely drink!

YANBU

It's not the pub you are objecting to - although it's not great that you would choose to take a child there for the afternoon.

It's the not thinking about your mum. In your DH's defence, this is a regular arrangement, it obviously just didn't occur to him that your DM had other things to do or it would be a nice gesture to do something with both DCs. Not great but in my mind not the worst offence in the world and it doesn't make him a grade A arse. Perhaps he thought ( although I doubt he thought much at all about it) that your DM might enjoy your DD's company to take your mind off things.

Going forward I would state really clearly to him that if the football is cancelled you expect him to pick up his DD from your mothers.

Do you think part of the issue is your H prefers DS to DD, or is DD a lot younger and therefore in need of more hands-on looking after?

I do think he sounds a bit selfish and thoughtless given the information about your dad.

But you said (didn't you? - this is one of the most confusing threads in a long while ) that your dh did say there was no need for them to have dd as ds's match was cancelled, and your sister said for her to come anyway ?
If I've got that bit right, then I can't see how this was your dh's fault. If your sister insisted on her going, then why wasn't your sister looking after her, rather than your Mum ?