To rehome my child?

[IllageVidiot]

We have 2 dogs 10 and 7.

I came out of the kitchen to find a huge poo on the floor. HUGE and quietly steaming up the tiles. I was about to find a furry behind to place the blame on. After a second I thought 'that is not a dog poo' after a careful step I thought 'the dogs probably wouldn't take their nappy off first'.

My child has flung off his kecks and his underoos in gleeful abandon, squatted one out on the floor and run of giggling like a..er..mad...cackling...thing. If I'm very unlucky he may have peed in the lego box again .

The dogs never void in the house, never chuck dinner on the floor or save peas for Mr Lady who likes them more than me, always do what they're told, wait nicely at the curb, don't kick me in the fanjo or punch me in the boobs when they are on the bed for a cuddle. They're just very much more accomplished at being people than my feral child. They take a bath without complaint and/or ritualistic rubber duck sacrifice. They don't attempt free fall base jumping from the sofa or try and post biscuits through the letter box for 'the pasman'.

I love him dearly, we all do, he's very much part of the family...but things would be very much less stressful if he went somewhere that maybe had a field...or a tazer. AIBU?

We used to think we were quite good at parenting which leads us to believe this one might be a wrong 'un ...uh [reallyf'ingtirednon'smiley']

Now Cynner, that's what I said, unfortunately he's to sticky to put down and mostly sort of sticks.

*too

Hmmmm..a real problem, eh? Then you must run him out to the country, find a nice farm, and shove him out. Farmers love taking in strays dumped off by people..they are so useful in the barn!

Mycatisastupidbastard your post made DH laugh so hard he almost did a little wee. But he has not suffered the ravages of sprogsprouting so didn't. It's all his fault really I just didn't like to say. I ampn't leaving the bastard; he'll get all the good CDs. And the ipod. And I'd probly get the childers.

I should probably be worried that irl DS would overun a small town fairly rapidly if he could get near a combine. They better be well stocked with Spongebob sketty (or whatever he inhales at the time) or they're in for a world of neatly ploughed hurt.

You need to give him his dinner, then put him outside the back door till he does a poo. Don't let him back in till he does one. Will quickly learn.

Will he bury it neatly? I'm not pooper scoopering. I'll put him out front then it won't be my problem. Good idea!

No they don't bury their poo. Easiest to just chuck it over the fence.

Are you just feeding sketty? Perhaps his habit of scavenging food of your plates is the problem with his toileting, a lot of owners have this problem with scavenging and whining for food off your plate.

Have you tried him on raw? Throw a load of lettuce, cucumber and tomato around and let him go. It doesn't suit all children though.

Lavera

You could take the tough love approach & make them do all the housework;

Please share your bribery behavioural approach in getting this to work on stroppy teens, my version of fish-wifery persuasion is clearly useless.

OP just be grateful it's only a little poo at this age.

Invis - I'm sorry I stalked you over to chat. I can honestly say what that child puts in it's mouth is the closest to the BARF diet I've ever seen!!! [grim]

Bossybritches Oh god... you, uh, don't want a nice small one do you? Economical runner. One previous owner only took him out on weekends. Just fitted new rear shock absorber.

There was wee in the Lego.

He bombed DH in the bath today and proudly informed him he did a wee in the bathwater. Dh said 'so, I did one too'.

Can I rehome my DH?

No you can't but did you notice a Labrador in there with them? That would tie up my thread nicely

I know this is an old post but I see that people want to get rid of their kids and it breaks my heart. My wife and I have been together for 20 years and have no children other than the fuzzy kind. I would take those unwanted children and give them a loving home any day, even with the biting, chewing and pooping on the floor.

Nboy everyone was joking, they wouldn't actually give him away

So glad this was bumped. Irreputable breeders had me in stitches.

FFS what is it with bloody zombie threads lately.

OP - catch us up, has LO improved?!

I didn't realise how old this was but its hilarious, especially since ds2 is turning into a chomper.

Is there a re homing service for stroppy pre teens, pleeeeease? can someone link for me, I am desperate

Maybe you could swap with the OP? You have obviously mastered the early stage training, just not the pre teen section.

My two inventively took a bucket and toddler loo seat into their Wendy house and used it enthusiastically for two weeks in the summer before the stench wafted far enough up the garden for me to go and investigate.

Not many things make me properly laugh out loud but I just read your op out to my dh and was crying with laughter by the end. Op you are hilarious.

get it under control now. As the mother of 2 ex toddler males I would say REHOME and quickly before you get too attached.

He is pooing on floor and running away giggling now but 18 or 19 years from now he will be asleep on your bathroom floor as you try to get in there to get ready for work in a pool of his own dribble/vomit/pee. He will be running up your car insurance to STUPID levels cos even though he has a license he cant drive in a straight line. He will be smoking pot in your house and trying to convince you the bong is actually a vase. He will be eating you out of house and home,hitting you up for cash.smokes/gas/beer. He will be funny,charming,loving etc but really take the advice of some one whos been there before, REHOME

oh did I mention getting suspended from college twice in 1 year,the very very expensive private college Ive sold my soul for him to attend,and having to pay again for him to make up all the semesters credits he lost for getting suspended?