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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a breast enlargement

76 replies

Beaverfeaver · 26/09/2012 21:23

I have wanted breast surgery since I was 16.

I am a size 12/14 and wear a 36B.

I know it will cost a lot of money but think it might be worth it for how long I have felt this way.

However, sometimes I think I'd rather spend £4k on gorgeous clothes and decent bras that might help me feel better about mush instead.

Also DH has always been dead against it.
He says how much he loves them as they are and that it wouldn't be the same if they were fake.

Should I just be happy with what I have been given?

OP posts:

HappySeven · 30/09/2012 08:51

Why doesn't the 'add 4-5' thing work anymore? How do you know where to start these days? I know every style can be different and we need to try them on but what's the starting point? I have a 28 inch rib cage (used to be 27 per-kids) and have always worn a 32. I've been fitted in lots of places and always been told I'm a 32. If women with a 31 inch rib cage are a 32, what should I be?!

showtunesgirl · 30/09/2012 10:01

Where were you fitted Happy?

And I think the thing is, we are all so many different shapes that sizing just by adding inches is very inaccurate.

HappySeven · 30/09/2012 10:25

But that's what I don't understand, showtune. I thought that the number part referred to the band that goes round your chest and so surely if your rib cage is a particular size you need a particular size bra - they're not rigid (the bras not your ribs!) so shape shouldn't matter?

I've been fitted at the Gossard/Berlei factory shop when I was younger (never measured) and then M&S more recently.

whoneedssleepanyway · 30/09/2012 10:28

I personally think you need to learn to be happy with what nature gave you...

A friend had an enlargement and she struggled for a long time afterwards to be happy with the rest of her body...she likened it to decorating your house but just painting the walls, after you have done it you notice the skirting boards need doing too....

SorrelForbes · 30/09/2012 10:44

Morning Happy. As you know it's not an exact science. If you measure 28 around then I would start your fitting in a 28 back. The problem is that these are not as easy to find as other sizes. However, somewhere like Bravissimo should stick them. After that its down to on line and trial and error really. I'm a 30G (measure 30 under bust) and find that many brands start at a 32.

What is your across bust measurement? The difference between that and your back measurement (28) should give you a cup size to start with. One inch for each cup.

So, for example, if your across measurement is 34, then I'd start you in a 28E and take it from there.

StatisticallyChallenged · 30/09/2012 11:02

Happy I'd agree with Sorrel, I'd start at 28. I measure about 31 and wear a 30 - fitted at Bravissimo pretty regularly so confident this is correct. M&S are dreadful at fitting, they almost always seem to fit too big in the back and too small in the cup.

OP, I'm not anti-surgery at all. One of my best friends had a reduction because she hated her chest so I can totally understand how you feel. However I would try a good fitting first - if you can get to a Bravissimo that's probably your best bet. You might just find that you feel entirely different in say a 30E (best guess) as your bust and waist will probably be far more defined. There was someone on the bra fitting thread with fairly similar measurements - she went from a 36A up to a 30DD/E and felt entirely different about her bust afterwards.

And its a lot cheaper! :)

HappySeven · 30/09/2012 21:02

Thanks for the top tips. I feel pretty comfortable in my current bras but after reading what people have said on here and looking at the Bravissimo website I think I might go bra shopping soon. I've currently in a 32C and think I would get laughed out of Bravissimo with my small boobs - any suggestions for shops with good advice for those of us that are not blessed with D-L cups?

showtunesgirl · 30/09/2012 21:07

I would just go to Bravissimo. You might be surprised. A lot of people usually go down a back size and up a cup size.

SorrelForbes · 30/09/2012 21:12

I agree with ShowTunes. Head off to Bravissimo. I if, as I suspect, you need a 28 back then you'll almost definitely go up at least one cup which will take you into D+ world

MadameCupcake · 02/10/2012 07:59

Sorrel - The old measurement used to be add 4 or 5" but now they say it is less but I was advised you should always go up not down - I am about a 32" back measurement-wise - I dread to think what cup size I would be

A 30/31 would be a 32 not a 34 -for sure - not sure why I put that!

MadameCupcake · 02/10/2012 08:02

Wow - I never knew that people wore the exact back size they are! I would never got to M&S as the size they tell you is not right at all - they told me I was a 36 but all their 36 bras are too big but the 34s fit perfectly. Apparently they measure so you can do the bra up on the tightest hook (??).

Gruffy · 02/10/2012 08:14

I have just read the first page as I'm in a rush this morning so appologies if I repeat some posts.

Just wanted to say that all the advise about fitting is very interesting and after years of being unhappy (more so after breast feeding two children!) it sounds like I need to re-evaluate what size I am wearing. It sounds like I have been very clueless when it comes to bra sizes and the correct fitting!

Thank you!

BoyMeetsWorld · 02/10/2012 08:15

Hi OP. used to work for a cosmetic surgery company so certainly don't think YABU ...lots of perfectly normal ladies / mums do feel like this and lots of studies have shown breast surgery really can massively boost self confidence. However, there are a lot of things to weigh up and consider.

*The MNers who have pointed out about 'lifetime maintenance' are absolutely right. Before the PIP implants crisis, lots of women were getting breast surgery expecting them to last forever. They very very rarely make it past 15-20 years without issue.
*have you considered any underlying issues which may be making you self conscious? Even the best breast surgeon in the world can't make you love yourself if there is a psychological root to the problem.
*have you looked at shapes of implants? It's not just about size and to go to a DD on your frame may look too 'glamour model'. Implants come in loads of different profiles & depending if they are rounded / teardrop shaped & how high they sit can dramatically improve your silhouette in clothes or the 'fullness' of your breasts without going too much bigger
*if you decide to go for it, do TONS of research into your surgeon, id suggest picking one that's BAAPS registered & read reviews on forums like mumsnet, real self etc...beware actual review sites as some of these (though not all!!) use fake or manipulated reviews
*ask about spreading finance - most places do have options or credit card schemes available to help with this

Good luck, whatever you decide

joanofarchitrave · 02/10/2012 08:54

ladies/mums

I don't often post this but LOL

catstail · 02/10/2012 08:58

op - are you there?

please can someone post up that link for the op, the one with all the womens boobs of all different shapes, sizes and wonkiness? (not porn)

SorrelForbes · 02/10/2012 09:04

Madame - yes M&S are absolutely useless at fitting. The last time I went, they insisted that I do the bras up on the tightest hook. None of the bras sat flat in the centre and all rode up at the back. However, apparently that was still the right size for me

SorrelForbes · 02/10/2012 09:07

Gruffy yes, definitely get yourself fitted somewhere that knows what they're doing. If you cant get to a decent shop then You can do an approximation yourself with a tape measure and then order some bras online to try at home. Just remember to follow all the guidance (in this thread and the recent long one on how do you wear your bra).

Good luck.

Iheartpasties · 02/10/2012 09:18

What hook should you wear your bra on? the first set of hooks or the second?

SorrelForbes · 02/10/2012 10:12

Always wear them on the loosest set of hooks. Over time (and washes!) the bra will stretch meaning you may then need to use the tighter sets.

showtunesgirl · 02/10/2012 10:19

Correct. The only time you would be wanting to wear a bra on the tightest setting and then moving out to the biggest one is when you're pregnant and your rib cage is expanding.

Another good tip to know if you're wearing the right bra is to remember that it's the band that should be giving the support and not the straps. If you are having to tighten the straps up tightly to keep your boobs up and they are leaving red marks / indentations on your shoulders and the band is not lying horizontal across your back and riding up, you are wearing the wrong bra size.

Oh and another common mistake is knowing your cup size in underwire bras. The underwire should cup all of your breast tissue so if you poke the top of the underwire near your armpit, you should not feel that you are on anything very "fleshy". If you feel this, you're probably wearing the wrong cup size and need to go up one.

showtunesgirl · 02/10/2012 10:20

joan, what's so funny?

BoyMeetsWorld · 02/10/2012 10:33

I think joan was lolling because she took my ladies/mums to imply mums aren't ladies. Actually meant the procedure is common amongst perfectly normal women - not only a certain 'type' as stigmatised ...& it's especially common amongst mums due to natural shape change / volume loss from pregnancy

MsElisaDay · 02/10/2012 11:04

I'd really consider the long-term implications of getting a breast enlargement, and the thousands of pounds it will set you back not only now, but in the decades to come.

My cousin got hers done at a clinic in Manchester when she was 19 years old, paid around £4k. We all thought she was a bit nuts as she didn't appear to need any help in that department at all.
Turns out she was in fact quite flat-chested (a 36A and size 14/16 clothes) but nobody had ever realised, due to push-up bras, chicken fillets and the like. Her reasoning was that she wanted to feel comfortable naked, and in a bikini. Fair enough. She got a loan and did it.

Anyway, now she will soon have had the implants in for 10 years and there's the problem of another £4/5k bill for replacements looming. Really, she now wants the money for more important things such as a deposit for a house. But she's stuck in the cycle now and has to do something about these saline bags in her chest.

She isn't even that pleased that she had them done in the first place. While she wanted bigger boobs, what she could achieve with the padded bras and chicken fillets wasn't far off what the implants have given her. She also isn't entirely happy with the shape, which is far more rounded on the top than natural boobs tend to be. They look a bit like two tennis balls, if you see what I mean. So while she isn't unsatisfied, she isn't really any happier than she was before she parted with thousands of pounds.

I'd reiterate what others have said about going to Bravissimo and getting fitted for some really good-quality bras. Bravissimo are absolutely fantastic. They fitted me as a 34G recently and I feel fantastic in a Panache Ultrabra in that size - whereas the 38DD M&S claimed I was was completely wrong and left me looking saggy.
Good luck!

SonOfAradia · 02/10/2012 13:04

id suggest picking one that's BAAPS registered

Snurfle.

Oh and small ones are lovely anyway ;-) It's great your DH loves you just as you are.

Your body your rules, of course.

catstail · 02/10/2012 20:28

pretty please can someone link me to the thread mentioned on here re how do you wear your bra (or something like that) - got problems with mine and hoping to find the answer on that thread (had a search and couldnt find it). Thanks

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