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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let DS2 go to school very early?

94 replies

Ferrybridge · 26/09/2012 08:58

He's year 5 and likes to have some time in the playground before school.

This morning he left home at 8:15, meaning he would have been in school before 8:20. The classroom doors open at 8:45 and official school start is 8:55. It was compounded this morning as it's raining hard (In my defense wasn't raining quite so hard when he went out)

Anyway, I did suggest he didn't want to be wet in school all day, but he was determined and I thought, Oh well, you'll learn, so let him go.

So, he regularly has half and hour unsupervised in the playground and today he will be wet through. Will the school be judging me? If they are I hope this will be the only thing. In all other , I'm a model school mum, cakes baked, healthy packed lunch, reading diary completed regularly, assemblies attended letters returned promptly, named & correct school uniform, rarely speak to teacher outside parents evening (but always turn up and arrive on time for that) etc

OP posts:

SpaceCorpsDirective34124 · 26/09/2012 10:04

When mine were at juniors, the parents were stopped from allowing this as the school is not insured before a certain time, apparently. (I am repeating what they said, I have not seen the insurance documents ) and I assume it's a fairly standard thing, so I am surprised they allow it.

But, if it is allowed, then you aren't doing anything wrong, imo. If he wants to and you're happy that he's safe and as long as if he did hurt himself, you wouldn't hold the school responsible, then it's really your decision.

I wouldn't let him do it in the wet and cold though, that could affect his whole day. Might be fun in the rain, but when he's cold and wet and trying to learn - not so much! But in the sunshine, and providing as I say, the school are happy for unsupervised children on the grounds and you are happy that they aren't actually responsible for him, then fair enough.

ReallyTired · 26/09/2012 10:05

"Reallytired- and who pays for the pre school time supervision? "

The parents.

Its a lot cheaper to run than formal childcare as the children don't require breakfast and since the children are over 8 you don't need to have a ratio of 1 to 8. The two TAs can easily look after 30 children. In fact in a school play ground a school of 500 children may well have far lower adult to child ratios. I seriously doult that ds' school employs 25 dinner ladies.

I think that requiring a ratio of 1 adult to 8 children for OFSTED registered after school clubs is ridicolous and makes the cost of childcare unnecessarily high.

achillea · 26/09/2012 10:06

OMG he's 9 - I too thought he was only 5 - that is fine. At that age they are more than capable of keeping an eye on each other. I thoroughly approve of you giving him independence and free time.

You should take him there though, just to show that you are involved and approving. (It will look better to the school too). He shouldn't be getting soaked either.

Pooka · 26/09/2012 10:06

But he isn't in a public place like a park or the street. He's in a school site. If there is no playground cover but they are accommodating kids playing unsupervised then they will get into trouble if there is an accident. It's not fair on them.

Pooka · 26/09/2012 10:09

You're not invisible seeker!

I agree completely that the school needs to make the position clear.

Our school regularly tells parents that children must not be unaccompanied in the playground until 8.40, which is when two teachers provide playground supervision.

Maryz · 26/09/2012 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigBoobiedBertha · 26/09/2012 10:12

Ferrybridge - It is good your DS wants to go to school and I personally don't judge you for letting him go because I am all for children going to school by themselves if they are able, but if he is going to get wet or if you are doing the opposite to directly stated school policy and requests then you have to take control and stop him going. There are other times and places where he can exercise his independence. It doesn't have to be on school grounds before school starts.

FWIW DS1 used to have to be at school by 8.30 when he still went to the juniors so he could do his OT with one of the TAs before school started. They did it in the playground so it isn't that there isn't a responsible adult there at our school. However, it shouldn't be her job to be looking out for your child and probably shooshing him out of the way with his football or whatever, when she is supposed to be doing her job and working with other children.

achillea · 26/09/2012 10:14

I'm pretty sure the school knows exactly what its responsibilities are, my guess is they understand that it benefits the children to burn off some energy in the playground before they get into school.

It suits the school, the children and the parents to turn a blind eye on this rule. Let's hope nobody sues them when someone falls and grazes their knee!

seeker · 26/09/2012 10:14

Maryz · 26/09/2012 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrSunshine · 26/09/2012 10:19

Presumably the school aren't bothered or they would do something about it. Ours have the gates locked until 8.45, but at the middle school (8-12 year olds) they are open, they just inform parents that they aren't supervised and remain the responsibility of the parents until 9.15.

Pooka · 26/09/2012 10:20

It's not as if children who are accompanied are rigidly tethered to pushchairs or apron strings. Mine all run like mad things round the playground before the teachers come out. I happen to be there though, until the school become responsible (have younger dcs - when the youngest goes on own, in distant future, will just make sure that he sets off at a time that will mean doesn't arrive ridiculously early).

Pooka · 26/09/2012 10:22

If op lives 2 mins away and is that keen for him to burn off energy, she should send him off 1 minute before playground supervised and let him run there. Or let him run round the block a few times before going onto school site.

aldiwhore · 26/09/2012 10:24

Agree with seeker the school needs to protect itself by disallowing anyone on the property before a certain time.

Our school gates open at 8.40am, school starts at 9am. The schoolyard is supervised from 8.40am... anyone needing to drop children off earlier have to enrol them in the breakfast club (£4 without brekky).

If the gates are open, and no teacher is supervising, then I really think parents should stay until there is.

My DS is nearly 9, and would be FINE. Its not him I worry about, its that 'what happens if something happens and no one would know' issue. (Without being a hysterical scaremonger!)

achillea · 26/09/2012 10:25

I remember lots of boys going in early to play football - it was just that. They weren't interested in anything else, didn't get up to anything, just wanted to tear around after a ball. What's the worst thing that can happen - a football in the face, a twisted ankle?

It will be better for the school and for the boys if they go into school after a bit of running about and free time, and the school must know this. Supervision for this isn't really that necessary at the age of 9. Nice if some parents have the time to stand in the playground for half an hour, but very unlikely that any of them can as there will be younger ones to get ready.

areyoutheregoditsmemargaret · 26/09/2012 10:26

It's good for him, he is gaining some much-needed independence. Let him go

Pooka · 26/09/2012 10:26

I said it too!

achillea · 26/09/2012 10:29

£4 for breakfast club without breakfast?

Perhaps DS could get himself a paper round, that way he can burn off energy and cover his own breakfast club fees so that he can play with his mates.

Original poster

Ferrybridge · 26/09/2012 10:39

LOL achillea, paper round at 9? I'd have no objection , but it's against the law. Breakfast club here is £2.50 with breakfast, but TBH it's only used up to about year3, so DS wouldn't be with his mates and they're in a spare classroom, not running around outside.

OK, I accept it's unfair on teachers who might feel responsible even though they're not and the school should be stopping it because of risk issues to them re legal claims (thank you seeker ) but the consensus is that principal of 30 mins unsupervised play for a 9yo doesn't make me the worst mother in the world?

OP posts:

LivingInAGoldBubble · 26/09/2012 10:49

As a teacher I am surprised the school allow this. In all the schools I have worked in, children were not allowed on site until about 10 minutes before school time and there was a teacher supervising, unless they were going to breakfast club. It is all about insurance and not being sued if a child has an accident unsupervised. Children are still early and in most cases head has rung, and in one school, taken them to breakfast club and then charged parents after first occurrence. Apart from anything else, I like the quiet time before school to work, not to have children looking through my windows, asking to come in to go to the toilet or wanting a referee. I am afraid I resent having to keep half an eye and schools do tend to judge parents as throwing their child out for the school to babysit.

dysfunctionalme · 26/09/2012 10:50

I think it's fine if you feel okay about it and the school is cool with it. Which it probably isn't. Most schools have a policy because of legal ramifications.

But in common sense terms it will depend on what sort of area you live in, your child's maturity and how many other kids are about too.

I have a 9yo and she is always keen to get to school early too.

LivingInAGoldBubble · 26/09/2012 10:50

I type too slowly

seeker · 26/09/2012 10:51

Of course 30 minutes unsupervised play for 9 year olds is absolutely fine.

It's just not fine on school grounds before the school is open.

And the school could fail the "safeguarding" bit of an OFSTED inspection because of it.

imnotmymum · 26/09/2012 10:54

I was going to say YABU as I thought he was five years old too ! No at nine he is fine if friends are there and they playing. My kids would love to be at school earlier but ours do not open gates until 8:40. It is great he is up and about and raring to go. Good on him!

Original poster

Ferrybridge · 26/09/2012 10:55

TBH, seeker, I don't really see the OFSTED report as my issue. If the school asked me to stop sending him I would, but they haven't, nor have I ever had any communication suggesting children shouldn't be in the playground early. I am a stickler for rules, despite what it might seem - see the rigid adherence to rules re reading diaries and named school uniform etc

OP posts:

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