for feeling guilty that I've not hosted a coffee morning for my NCT group?

[ChateauMargot]

Our flat is small and our living room only seats three breastfeeding mums comfortably (there are eight in the group). Our babies are all roughly three months old; already three of the group have hosted coffee mornings and two more are about to. These are houses that they (for the most part) own and have renovated - lovely big rooms, etc. - whereas we rent and are in a slightly scruffier neighbourhood. Trying very hard not to feel I'm letting the side down or lapsing into self-pity that we're not quite in the same league.

My first AIBU - please be kind!

Ps I was the youngest out of our group and one smuglet rude woman asked how I felt about living in the smallest house out of everyone!! Five years on and we are now in a bigger house than her. Ha ha me smug now? Well maybes a little ;-)

Am I the only person who thinks that all the NCT politics/meet ups sound like hard work? If I even thought anyone might look down at where I live I would stop socialising with them.

From what I remember, I always sat on the floor anyway. TBH going to someone elses house and having someone else make me a cup of tea and poss throw a biccy my way was such a luxury.

Oh and seeing as my NCT group and I used to meet up to support each other through the tough times, I really couldn't care less about the size of the room, seating options etc. Sometimes I just needed someone to listen and sympathise.

I hope you have a lovely time with your group whatever you decide to do.

I agree with cairnterrier. I never found there to be any politics (although mine was a NHS antenatal group, not NCT) We were a group of new mums, all completely clueless, supporting each other. As the children got older those we had nothing else in common with drifted off and the group split a bit, but it was invaluable for that first year and my DC1 has just gone to secondary with one of the "babies" from that group as his best friend

I used to edit the local NCT magazine instead of trying to host coffee groups in my non child proofed scruffy xcouncil house. (I moved just as DD learnt to crawl)

No one seemed to mind.

Not sure why the criticism of NCT groups? My antenatal group were the main reason I got through the early months! Just being able to chat to a bunch of friendly mums in the same situation was a lifesaver, as I have no family nearby. Some of us invited people over, some of us didn't, the same as any other friendship group :)

I'd say that honesty is the best policy, just say your place is a bit small and you don't think everyone will fit in. If there's a particularly nice day coming up, you could meet in your local park, or arrange at a coffee shop (the latter gets harder too once they get mobile!).

postnatal groups inevitably have cliques and politics
met the precious moments mamas postnatally. grateful as they've given me mirth
also met a few keepers, good fun and we got each other.and us slammers got to stick together