to feel stressed out driving on motorway at night in heavy rain

[agnesf]

Have just completed 150 miles drive in rain with DH & DCs in car. DH cannot drive for health reasons so its always me in this situation. I find it really stressful to extent that right arm has gone numb from being so tense.

I used to be a bit more chilled about this but now feel like just one slip and I could kill everyone.

On radio was a programme about racing drivers being killed in Grand Prix and had to get DH to turn it off. AIBU

Definitely YANBU. Night driving is difficult enough, without the added complication of reduced visibilty and reduced traction due to rain. I hate the way rain scatters the light from oncoming headlights, making the road ahead almost invisible!
The golden rule, i think, is always to remain within your sight distance, so if you can't see clearly, slow down till you're confident you can see the road ahead within your stopping distance.
I too am amazed at the way some people drive when the conditions are poor and visibility is low. They can't possibly see where they are going! Must be like driving into oblivion!

If the rain is that bad, slow down - don't worry about how fast other idiots are driving - pull over into the left hand lane. Put your fog lights on and make sure you travel at a speed that you feel comfortable at.

If it's really, really heavy - then pull in to the next service station and wait until the rain abates.

What makes it bad for me is knowing that the only control I have is over my own vehicle and the rest of the idiotic road users are doing it their own way. Slow and steady in bad weather always. Pref at least 4 or 5 seconds behind the vehicle in front. And talking radio (R4 for me) rather than music keeps me more alert. Or in really bad weather, total silence. Adding a crying baby into the mix is enough to test even the most amazing driver IMO so pull over at first opp to try and settle said crying child.

Oh, I TOTALLY agree!
I have to drive a lot for work, and one dark stormy night, I had to do the Dartford Crossing. Id never done it before, and I was TERRIFIED!
Id followed a horse lorry through the last exit or two, and my poor rain addled brain decided that it was going to Newmarket. Newmarket was in my vague direction, so I fell in behind, and stuck to him like glue! Thankfully, he was going my way, or God knows where Id have ended up!!

YANBU, and you were right to slow down.

Please DON'T put your fog lights on in heavy rain, they cause terrible visual problems for the driver behind you. Fog lights are for fog.

Best thing I can recommend is your DP being a supportive non driver. We do 8 hours driving in a day once every 6-8 weeks. DP doesn't drive. But he never falls asleep, is my radio changer at my whim (Radio 4 to Metallica and back again), chats to me, opens and passes me drinks, plays DS on the spare Nintendo DS on Pokemon to amuse him. All I have to do is drive, and it makes such a difference.

I drive a lot and have driven in the pouring rain at night. It is very stressful and I make sure that I change my hand position and open and stretch my hands every once in a while.

And I insist on being the boss of the radio! Unless it's an easy drive, then DH can do what he likes.

I'm not keen.

I used to drive on motorways a lot, but we moved more rurally so I don't drive on motorways much at all now. The speed and closeness of all the cars gives me the willies, most roads round here are single carriageway 30/40/50 mph so I'm not used to it anymore

Oh god I second the plea not to put fog lights on in the rain.

In fact it;s very dangerous to do so as, at a glance, drivers can think you're braking and brake suddenly themselves causing chaos. They also dazzle other drivers and reduce their night vision

So DON'T PUT YOUR FOG LIGHTS ON UNLESS IT'S FOGGY

Thank you, BitOut. I was mainly thinking of rear fogs when I posted, but have remembered horrendous drives in rain with oncoming traffic with up to six halogen bulbs/whatever those blindingly bright blue lights are blazing, (sidelights, headlights and fucking foglights, all on very modern cars) which is totally blinding, and completely unnecessary.

OldLady I agree those halogen lights are very dazzling and often on 4x4s which seems to make them high enough to be right in my eye line

Rear or front fog lights are dangerous when it's not foggy

Agree.

Last night was a horrid night on the motorways. Such bad visibility and water everywhere. It doesn't stress me out as much as you OP but it does take much more concentration. Glad you got home safe.

And I thoroughly agree, DON'T PUT YOUR FOGLIGHTS ON IN THE RAIN. THEY ARE NOT RAINLIGHTS.

Sorry to shout, feel a big strongly about that one.

I am a very confident driver but dislike motorway driving in torrential rain, although I don't find it as stressful as you, it still isn't the best way to drive. The main problem is other drivers who don't drive according to the road conditions.

BIWI has given some excellent suggestions. I would also suggest you make sure you have plenty of distance between you and the car in front. If the weather is awful I drive at slower speeds and keep as far as I can from the vehicle in front of me. I drive in the inside lane and avoid the problem of cars zig-zagging in front of me.

Yadnbu. It really stresses me out. It doesn't help that the first time I drove in rain heavier than a drizzle, I crashed my car on the qe2 bridge (after 5 months of driving around the country! it was so heavy nobody could get above 40mph on the a130 as you couldn't see the car in front of you.)

I still get nervous about that bridge now! I haven't made the mistake of not judging distances for wet roads incorrectly again!

What a daft question for AIBU, of course you aren't.
Although I prefer the left lane of the motorway to driving on A roads in heavy rain in the dark.

Ok I'm going to pile in and say YABU. Sure it's not much fun but come on! Do an advanced driver course, or pull over until the rain calms down a bit if possible. There's no point getting stressed about it! And yes, I have driven plenty on motorways and in heavy rain.

I'm not too bad driving in bad weather, do the above etc.

However if it's at the sheets of rain point we do tend to pull off. Most storms in the uk last a while but the worst parts come and go. So pulling off at services and grabbing a coffee can mean that when you set off 10 mins later the heat of the storm has past

I drove 300 miles yesterday and lot of it was heavy rain. I came on here to add same as other DO NOT USE FOG LIGHTS BECAUSE OF RAIN AND SPRAY

OP - you're not being unreasonable. It is hard work in heavy rain and even harder in the dark because of the glare from the water. I entered thick fog at the end of my journey and was very glad to get home.

The rain did not relent for the whole of my journey last night. I'd be still sat at a motorway services if I was waiting for it to improve.

Toothbrush I appreciate that it doesn't always stop! But often the really really heavy stuff comes in waves so it's possible to ride out the worst in a service station.

It was obvious the weather was going to be terrible yesterday. If one finds driving in heavy rain that bad, perhaps other forms of transport could be looked in to? I just think its U to get quite so stressed about it.

[http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Highwaycode/DG_069859 highway code]] for adverse conditions.
I've been driving a year. The most terrifying time was in fog near Edinburgh. The next worse times were in heavy rain on the motorway and no, I don't understand why as you slow to 50 other people still roar past at 90!

Motorway driving can be stressful
Driving at night can be stressful
Driving in heavy rain can be stressful

Add all three together and I'm not surprised you were tense!