to hate living in the country?

[Hullygully]

IT'S SO BORING I HATE IT I HATE IT

The only time a train full of passengers got an eyeful of a man 'having relations' with a goat was in the city, behind the hospital...in broad daylight

Stewart Lee on cuntry

Watch this and see what happens when you move to the country.

I haven't got any sound - the cuntry ate it or something

They don't need to have relations with a goat up here, there's enough sheep to go round.

That's a shame it's fucking funny (if you're over 40)

I'll nick ds' ipad when he comes back

Our street was covered in dog shit.

I think urban/rural there are always animal shit issues no?????

Horse shit in the cuntry.

Dog shit in the town.

It's the only win/win situation I can think of for cuntry v town.

except when your dog gets a liking for horse shit...then licks a neighbours hand

Why does Kent make me laugh so much.

I went on holiday to Kent once. To romney marsh. Views of the power station. Oh yes. I went all the way there from NORTH DEVON. I would have had a better time going to Croyde 6 miles away.

And I laughed at Sarah 'immigrants take all the best stuff at car boot sales' the FUCKERS

Oh no, Dungeness is FAB. Love Dungeness, proper strange.

I guess one advantage to country living is road kill. Makes interesting stews, and is jolly cheap!

I didn't go there.

I went to a Hi De Hi camp in New Romney and couldn't leave.

god I lived in a small seaside town in kent before moving to the country and have to agree re. racism and god it was noisy. maybe that's why i like the peace and quiet so much now

as an aside we have cows in our woods sometimes which is bloody bizarre

Oh you grumbling groans. It is a gorgeous fresh day here, with autumn smells.

Got fresh tomatoes from neighbour yesterday and had a lovely salsa bursting with flavour.

And walked down to the hen lady for fresh eggs. 2.50 for a dozen is a tad expensive (25% price hike from the winter), but totally delicious with rich yolks.

Dunno what you are all complaining about. Don't bother to hang out with the peasants and you can tune out most of the racist/small-minded stuff. Surely there must be other like-minded city-refugees near your country retreat for you to hang out with?

tomatoes and eggs

yeah totally worth it

I have my own chickens

I grew up in the cuntryside, north Essex cuntryside so I'm not entirely sure it counts. It was very rural, but nothing like up here. It's like being transported back to the 1950's in some ways.

I like my tomatoes from the supermarket. And I like my eggs in a box sans chicken shit and bits of feather.

I can walk to the farmers' market and get lovely fresh eggs and tomatoes and I'm in That London.

Only I can get, amongst other things, stuff from Italian delis and Indian and Caribbean grocers on my way home too.

And they're open sensible hours. Nothing more depressing than shops that shut at 5, or on Sundays.

I miss 24 hour opening terribly. You don't realise how much you need it until it's gorn.

Oh, owl, sounds lovely. So much want to keep hens and goats. But we travel and it would be hard to find so one to take care of them.

My dream is to have goat's milk every day and make my own yogurt and cheese.

Hully, hmmm...tomato and egg...haven't had those together in a while. Tomato omelette for dinner tonight.

Don't know why, but this thread is making me hungry.

When I was little, we played hide and seek in a field with a few beautiful cows. I loved their long eyelashes and soft silky lips. Remember one day hiding and being nudged and when I opened my eyes it was a lovely surprise, a gorgeous cow was tenderly and curiously nuzzling me. It loved it and one of my very happy memories of my childhood. Years later, we had to walk through sheep, and my husband was always terrorised by the RAM attacking him with butting, but he must have known he was another male as he left me alone to laugh.

We're having a leaving do for a colleague on Friday so were checking out eateries within a reasonable distance from work.We found: Caribbean, Thai, Turkish, Polish, Russian, Eritrean, Malay, Vietnamese, Greek, Nigerian....oh, as well as Indian, Chinese and Italian obviously. We might go to the Comedy Store after and then get a night bus home (For you cuntry folk, these are buses that run all night). And a bus is a vehicle, often with an upper deck, that collects passengers from "bus stops" and they can then press a bell when they want to get off and the driver then stops and opens the doors. It's a very clever idea and seems to work well.