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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too feel devastated for the wife of the teacher who has run off to France with his 15 year old pupil?

999 replies

chipsandmushypeas · 23/09/2012 17:55

What on earth went through his head when he decided to do this?! The poor woman has taken all her social networks down out of humiliation I presume. link

Crazy.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 26/09/2012 14:02

Very true, but if she didn't have time to pack a change of clothes or toiletries, how likely is it like he would've been able to gather up a few grand in euros? I hope they contact someone at home soon, whatever's been going on.

Tamoo · 26/09/2012 14:11

He could have thousands on him in cash. We don't know his family means, he could have savings that he's withdrawn. He could have maxed out his credit cards or taken out a loan that he never intends to repay. Probably not enough to settle down and start a new life somewhere but certainly he could have enough to disappear for a few months, living quietly and frugally.

squeakytoy · 26/09/2012 14:13

She possibly didnt pack clothes and toiletries because she knew that would alert suspicion. There are just as many clothes shops in europe as there are in the uk.

Little has been said about his family, he could have contacts in Europe that he has arranged to meet, who will let them stay there and lend them money.

I would imagine if that were the case then the police quite rightly would keep that bit quiet anyway rather than scare them off.

Tamoo · 26/09/2012 14:16

She looked like she was in school uniform in the ferry photos (white blouse and short dark skirt) though I guess this is unlikely.

pumpkinsweetie · 26/09/2012 14:24

Maybe at the moment Dappy, but what seems like a good idea NOW to a 15yo may be totally different to how she feels TOMORROW.

No-one knows what this man is like and who knows if he's treating her well.
He could have thousands saved if this was planned for months or a credit card that no-one knows off.
Teachers are not short of cash

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 26/09/2012 14:24

I thought she looked like she was in her school uniform too Tamoo, and I suppose it is possible, especially as she told her mother she was staying at a friend's that night then, I presume, going onto school the next day.

DappyHays · 26/09/2012 14:30

Oh totally pumpkin, I imagine in years to come she'll look back and totally cringe/feel terrible or maybe even feel abused, but right now she'll be having a ball, so to speak.

If my older (not teacher) lover had wanted me to run away when I was 15, I'd have been off like a shot.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 14:37

Well yes.

Meanwhile this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/1572109-Abuse-of-hundreds-of-girls-as-young-as-ten-covered-up-by-police-and-social-services

hasn't even got to 50 posts.

Maybe this story is just more voyeuristically appealing.

wannaBe · 26/09/2012 14:39

it's also worth bearing in mind that while he might not get a job over here, he could well get one abroad.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 14:43

Indeed.

If he had a few grand they could fly off to Thailand, get a job in an English school, and live there until she gets bored.

It's unlikely that he'd get a job at a international school, which is where the real money would be, because parents would object, but at something like a school teaching English as a foreign language, he'd be paid well enough for them to get by.

Tamoo · 26/09/2012 14:46

What happens if they are found? Do foreign police arrest him? Would they have to wait and fly British police over to arrest him? What would the charge be?

DappyHays · 26/09/2012 14:51

tamoo only if there is a warrant out for his arrest, which so far there isn't. This will also depend on what country they are found in.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 14:57

Extradition/arrest doesn't seem likely?

There was a lot of hoo-ha about people being extradited to the US (not on these charges) and it was very important to establish that the alleged behaviour was criminal in the UK as well as the US.

So I wouldn't have thought that there would be any grounds to extradite from France, where what he is doing appears entirely legal.

edam · 26/09/2012 15:00

no, you don't have to demonstrate a crime has been committed under UK law to request extradition of a UK citizen. If they are accused of committing a crime in a foreign country, it's that country's rules that apply. I should image the same deal operates in reverse - so if he's committed a crime in the UK, we can pursue him abroad.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 15:12

That is incorrect.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_criminality

uk.reuters.com/article/2012/01/13/uk-turkey-ferguson-orphanage-idUKTRE80C0Q120120113

The Extradition Act 2003 provides generally for a dual criminality test in order to extradite from the UK.

edam · 26/09/2012 15:19

Interesting, maybe there's a difference between EU and non-EU countries, or depending on whether there's an extradition treaty then, as there have been several reports of EU countries making extradition requests to the UK on what seem like very thin grounds but UK courts saying their hands are tied.

BoffinMum · 26/09/2012 15:24

We had a teacher who used to volunteer to supervise the long jump on sports day and we attributed this to his desire to see our bottoms as our games skirts flipped up on landing. That may or may not have been true. However there is a world of difference between having a look at adolescent girls from a distance, and abducting one and running away to France with her.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 15:25

There is a list of offences within the EU that apparently remove the dual criminality test.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/41/schedule/2

In particular,

'Sexual exploitation of children and child pornography.'
'Rape.'

I don't think either would apply here - clearly 'rape' can be widely construed as in Assange, but I don't think there are grounds there.

MrSunshine · 26/09/2012 15:25

I'm not sure abducting is the correct word.

BoffinMum · 26/09/2012 15:26

It is illegal to have an under 18 spend the night with you unless they have permission from their parents, so it may well be the correct term.

BoffinMum · 26/09/2012 15:28

And having sex with an under 16 constitutes statutory rape in law as they are not deemed able to consent.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 15:28

Are you sure? I know it's illegal for a teacher to have sex with a 17 year old, but I thought a 16 year old could have sex with a 60 year old, quite lawfully.

MrSunshine · 26/09/2012 15:29

No, it doesn't, Boffin, that was covered many many pages ago. Stat rape does not exist in the UK, its an American term.

BoffinMum · 26/09/2012 15:29

As I understand it, you can have sex with anyone you like after 16, but if you want to spend the night away from home you technically need your parents' permission if you are under 18.

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue · 26/09/2012 15:29

No, it's not 'statutory rape'.

Already posted at Sun 23-Sep-12 23:08:08:

"There's no 'age of consent' as such.

It's legal to have sex with a girl aged 13-15 if you are aged under 23, and you believed she was 16 or over.

Her consent is recognised in that case.

In this case it would be 'unlawful sexual intercourse'.

If she is 12 or less, she cannot consent and it's a strict liability."