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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think I'm not being unreasonable, but I'm a bit angry, so I'm not sure. MacMillan coffee morning

96 replies

Fiendishlie · 23/09/2012 11:09

A neighbour knocked on my door collecting items for a tombola at the MacMillan coffee morning thing her group is having at the village hall on Friday. I tell her I'll bring something over later and, as I'm not working on Friday, I will come to the coffee morning.
She looks uncomfortable and tells me that the coffee morning is for members of the group only and I can't come.
I was completely blindsided and rendered speechless; all I managed to do was close the door on her.

This isn't on, is it?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 23/09/2012 11:11

Cheeky! And I would have thought the point was to get as many people as possible - that's why you use a hall and not someone's living room!

I hope she was suitably embarrassed.

halcyondays · 23/09/2012 11:12

What group? As the point is to raise money for charity surely anyone can go? Very cheeky of her to ask for tomboy items, then tell you, you can't come.

TheSkiingGardener · 23/09/2012 11:12

Blimey, how odd!

chocolatespiders · 23/09/2012 11:12

Speechless

puds11 · 23/09/2012 11:13

How very strange! I hope you friend isn't the same friend as a lady on another thread, as she may be about to flog whatever you give her on Ebay!

shinyblackgrape · 23/09/2012 11:13

Did you say "bye" before you did? Um.....it is slightly strange. But i suppose the items could have been bought from funds donated by the general public who also don't get to go so maybe she sees it like that.

I think the organisers seem a bit confused though. Surely the purpose if the coffee morning is to get as many people there from joe public to raise money?! Not hold "private" gatherings

LadyBeagleEyes · 23/09/2012 11:15

Good Lord, what a cheeky cow.
I hope you're not contributing a prize now.
I thought the whole idea was fundraising, so the more the merrier
I think the organisers have the wrong end of the stick.

MsVestibule · 23/09/2012 11:15

These coffee mornings are fund raising events, not exclusive get togethers for groups of friends - and to also ask you for something for the tombola Shock.

lashingsofbingeinghere · 23/09/2012 11:15

YANBU! Wow, how very unfriendly and cheeky.

Hopeforever · 23/09/2012 11:18

What is 'her group'? This may explain why she thinks it was members only.

If indeed it was members only then only members should be asked to provide items unless you run a business that would donate to charity

Seems rather strange

Softlysoftly · 23/09/2012 11:18

Intrigued as to what group is "private" is it the female masons evening star wotsit? Or or no cant think of anything else.

chocoluvva · 23/09/2012 11:18

Perhaps they were going to meet for coffee as a group anyway and decided to make it a fundraiser as it's on at the time of the macmillan event?
Not very friendly though.

HecateHarshPants · 23/09/2012 11:19

bloody hell. That's not the idea of the macmillan coffee morning at ALL! It is supposed to be open to everyone.

I can't believe the nerve of her knocking at your door asking for stuff to something you are banned from attending!

find one here

They're all public, so go along to one.

shinyblackgrape · 23/09/2012 11:20

I really need to know if you said "bye" before shutting the door!

shinyblackgrape · 23/09/2012 11:21

Ooh -interested to see if it's on the site hecate linked to! If it is, can I suggest we all turn up!

SoleSource · 23/09/2012 11:23

Yanbu bye or no bye!!!

Original poster
Fiendishlie · 23/09/2012 11:23

It's a pre-school. My youngest DC is 16 so it's a while since I had anything to do with the group.
I just shut the door. I was, quite literally, speechless.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 23/09/2012 11:24

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Ok I get them having coffee mornings together to plan/organise and perhaps raise a little money between themselves. But wouldn't a coffee morning open to all raise more funds and more awareness?

And if they want a private fund raiser don't go knocking on the neighbours door asking for prizes and inform them they cannot come to add money to the coffers. Bonkers

TandB · 23/09/2012 11:24

So how are they going to raise funds if no-one is allowed to come?

HecateHarshPants · 23/09/2012 11:26

fiend - is it listed on that link I put in my post?

If so, it's a public event and anyone can go!

TidyGOLDDancer · 23/09/2012 11:26

How very odd.

Hopefully you closing the door made a good point with her.

YANBU, it's totally not on, and not in the spirit of the coffee mornings either.

THETrills · 23/09/2012 11:27

Bonkers.

They can have a coffee morning that is open to everyone, and ask for contributions from lots of people.

Or it can be private, but they shouldn't expect anyone who is not invited to be in the slightest bit interested.

piprabbit · 23/09/2012 11:27

I'd be tempted to tell her that you won't be donating prizes for their private party, but will be donating an equivalent amount direct to Macmillan.

I think they sound seriously demented. Surely this is the one event where 'the more the merrier' would hold true.

WanderingWhistle · 23/09/2012 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katienana · 23/09/2012 11:32

Is it a playgroup? Maybe they are worried about strangers. Can't have it both ways though! V rude.